I love you.

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I sprinted down the hall to her room faster than I've ever ran before. The door was unlocked, thank the fucking gods, and I barged through it.

I searched the whole room for her before finally opening the bathroom door. She was sitting on the ground, breathing but barely.

"Fuck, hey, hey, D- Rhea, please." My eyes glazed and my throat got thick. I grabbed the towel nearby and wrapped it around her bleeding wrist, taking her completely into my arms while calling 911.

The ambulance was on its way as I looked back down to the beautiful person laying in my arms. "I need you to talk to me, please. Just say anything, I need you to stay awake, stay with me. Goddamn it. Please."

She looked up at me weakly, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I- my brain was going so fast and I couldn't get any of it to stop. You walked out of the room, away from me again, and I couldn't handle it. I needed to feel something and feel nothing. I'm so sorry."

I hold her closer to me, "Shhh, don't say that, say anything but that. We just need to get you to the hospital and you'll be okay. It'll be just fine."

I could hear the medics come in the door, quickly I called to them and they rushed in. They took her from my arms, putting her on the stretcher and taking her away. I was covered in blood but I needed to stay with her, I can't leave her again.

I rushed after them holding onto the cart as we made it outside to the ambulance. They put her inside and I climbed in the back, holding her hand.

"Look at me, just stay awake, you'll be okay. I'm right here." Tears streamed from my face but I tried my best to comfort her.

She over at me, eyes barely staying open. "I'm so sorry, Ris. I just couldn't-"

"Ik, Ik, it's okay." I gave her a weak smile, anything to make her feel better, safer, loved.

That didn't last long when her eyes fluttered closed.

My heart stopped.

The monitor went off that her pressure was dropping, the medics quickly doing everything they could. I held her hand as my heart broke and I just sobbed. Blubbering, barely breathing, sobbed.

"Please, Dems. Please, don't go. I need you. I love you, always and forever. Please, baby."

(PAST)

Demi had just finished up her match and I made my way to the back when she met me there.

"Hey, you did amazing." I smiled at her, admiring her body, sweat covered and cut from the match.

She came over to me, wrapping me in a wet hug, but I didn't care. She nuzzled her head in my neck. "Thank you for coming, Ris."

"Of course," I laughed and pulled away, putting my hands on her face, "you go shower and get dressed and we can hang out for a while."

She agreed and walked away to the locker room to get showered. While she was gone I went and packed all her stuff up so we could just leave after. When I went to zip up the bag there was a small open pocket with something shiny and seemingly sharp sticking out. Carefully I pulled it out and found a blade.

I heard Demi coming and I didn't want her to think I was searching her things so I threw it back, zipped up the bag and met her. We quickly headed out and got in car.

After a bit of discussion we decided to go to her house and watch the scream movies. We stopped and picked up Oporto and headed to her house.

Her mom greeted us as we walked in and Calista quickly came and hugged me when she realized I was there. I love her family.

We went to her room and snuggled up, turning the first movie on and eating. We laid there for a while before we both got kind of hot being so close. I took my jumper off and she changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

We laid back down to watch, I put my hand on her thigh, gently rubbing up and down it, that was until I felt the subtle lines that bumped over her skin. I knew exactly what they were, I even had some myself from years previous, but this and the blade in her bag, something was up.

I looked over at her gently, pulling her chin to look at me. She was smiling but her face dropped when she looked at me. "What? What's wrong?"

"Demi." I focused my hand on her scars, tracing them.

She looked down at my hand, quickly realizing what was going on. "Oh. I- umm," her eyes glazed over and she looked away from me ashamed.

I pulled her face back to me. "You're so beautiful, and wonderful, and strong. And I- I love you."

Her face lit up a bit at the three words neither of us had said yet. She looked at me, a few tears falling, "I love you too."

We both leaned forward, kissing gently as I held her face. I pulled away and gently planted a kiss on her thigh. "Please take the blade out of your bag," I hand her a hair tie, "if you feel like that's necessary, flick this against your wrist, it will give you the pain without the injury."

She looked slightly shocked that I knew where the blade was but she didn't question it as she took it out of her bag and threw it away. Coming back over to me, sitting down again, "thank you for everything, truly, Ris, I love you so much."

I pulled her into my arms, burying my head in her hair. "I love you more, Dems. I don't know what I would do without you. You're so perfect." I kissed her a  few more times before snuggled up and finished our movie binge.

(PRESENT)

They took her to the back, trying whatever they can to save her. Because I'm not family, they won't let me back with her so in my panicked state I call everyone, Raquel, Damian, Dom, Finn, Her parents, Cali, all of them needed to know, she needed all of them.

I was the problem.

She needed her people, I wasn't one of them. She did this because of me.

It's my fault.

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