The Nerd that turned out to be Vampire-ish [Wattys2015]

CHAPTER 11: The goddess of sarcasm.

My chances of sleeping tonight is getting slimmer and slimmer by the second. Things have gotten from awkward to interesting. The two elves – I mean visitors – were Tristan and Will's legitimate family, who randomly thought of visiting them here in the Philippines, because they're simply bored in Rome.

Tristan's mom named Divina was more outgoing than I've expected, even sarcastic. Overnight she has turned out to be my role model. A goddess of sarcasm.

The earlier question was a prank, she'd usually do to girls who gets acquainted with her sons. Yes, she treats Will as her son as well, even though he was her late sister's child, she apparently raised him. I passed the test eventually, and she even joked I can marry either of her two sons.

The grandfather figure remained a mystery. They never explained the meaning behind that, but didn't hesitate on calling him the same. It's still awkward though, to call someone grandfather when he's that young. He goes by the name Marcus. And he has the same features as Divina, black hair, amazing height and body, with a face that any woman would die for.

Did I mention that they have amazing alabaster skin? Divina weirdly calls him father, don't know if he really is, he looks like his husband, but Tristan calls him grandfather. And this is really fucking up my mind.

"My dear aren't you sleepy?" Marcus asked, he was sitting on the one person leather chair on the living room, with a book in hand.

"I had coffee. So sleep is still a long way ahead. Thank you for asking though." I smiled respectfully at him, he also returned a smile and nodded.

I'm sitting with Tristan and Divina in the kitchen's counter, while Will was taking a bath, after Divina told him that he smells like a homeless man.

Divina faced me. "If you turned 25 and still single. I'm going to force you to marry one of my sons."

"I'll take that as a joke." I simply said, hoping that it is.

"No it's not." She said with a smirk that never left her fair face.

"I'm not worthy." I said with all honesty, but meant to sound it like a joke. My fingers were playing the handle of my cup, probably a sign of anxiousness.

Tristan groaned. "Seriously? Why would you think that?"

"You want me to be your wife?" I asked and he gave me a pointed look. "See. So were in this together comrade. What I said was one of those reasons." I said the last word with an apostrophe hand sign, and he laughed. Though what I said is partly the truth.

I am not worthy, if they get to know my past.

"I've made up my mind. It will be decided by a toss coin when that time comes." Divina said and pinched both of our cheeks. We were about to contradict but she won't let us say anything.

"There's no turning back children. Once she's made up her mind. It's done." Marcus suddenly spoke, his eyes never left the book his reading.

Divina laughed, and turned to me again. "But dear, next time, don't sleep in a house where penises outnumbers you. Okay?"

I laughed. "Yes. I'll try to do the math, and count penises next time."

Tristan groaned even louder, obviously this topic is making him awkward. He stood up and walked towards Marcus's direction.

Divina smiled while looking at his son. "He grew up looking just like his father." I nodded. Don't want to interrupt that reminiscing moment she's presently in.

"Well, I read somewhere that children usually get the looks from their fathers, and the brain from their mothers." I was not able to control my thoughts, as it bolted out of my mouth.

"True. But not all." Divina paused. "Anyways, I've always wanted a daughter to dress up." She looks at me like she's planning a scheme in her head. "Let's go shopping tomorrow."

My eyes widened in shock. Then I thought, I can't go to the mall with the same outfit I wore yesterday, I would look suspicious. Plus I don't want to go anywhere without changing my undies.

"I know what you're thinking." Divina laughed. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Get some rest we have a long day tomorrow." She paused and looked at Tristan, who continued watching Game of Thrones.

"Tris dear, why don't you escort your future wife to the guest room, so she could have a beauty sleep, and bear you healthy children." Tristan's face was epic, it was mixture of shock and humility, but mostly disgust. I laughed at the sight of that.

"Mom! Stop it, or I will kick you out." Tristan said as he walked towards me and grabbed my hand.

Divina laughed. "Oh dear. Your father said the same words, when I tried to paint the whole house pink, but minus the mom part." I laughed imagining it.

Marcus laughed at the corner as well. "I do remember that. You forced me to help. Also, I can't forget your husband's expression when he saw his home turned into a Barbie house."

Tristan groaned like a cave man, again. His patience was definitely running thin. "You guys are crazy." He looked at me. "Let's go. They're probably contagious."

We came to a halt in a room right next to his. "Here you are." He turned his heels and was about to go, when I grabbed his shirt. 

"Thanks by the way. For everything." I paused and did a fake cough. "You're actually not that bad."

He turned back and faced me with one of those genuine smiles that he rarely makes. "So do you hobbit." He then ruffled my hair. "Now sleep. There might be a chance for you to grow."

I gave him our signature frenemy handshake, or hand sign, which is the holy middle finger, and as expected he replied with the double version.

I walked inside, and it was all white. Guess I'm sleeping in heaven tonight. I jumped on the queen sized bed and hugged the fluffy white duvet. I didn't realized I fell asleep just as instantly, well, in a frog-like position.

The morning's sun woke me up as it peeped through the gaps of the curtains. I sat up shocked to see that I'm not in the same position that I slept on last night. I am now under the covers. I probably moved myself while sleeping—sleep crawling. I laughed at the thought.

I yawned and looked around, when my eyes landed on the white desk in front of the bed. A pile of clothes was placed and a letter on top of it.

I got out of bed and walked towards it, curious to see what the letter's all about. I took the small folded piece of paper and opened it, written in fine handwriting was a message from Divina.

Dearest Victoria,

Good morning, hope you had a peaceful sleep, but though I have to admit, I was shocked to see your style of sleeping. I asked one of the boy's to help me position you into place.

Here is a set of clothes. I've put as many as I could, so that you'll have plenty to choose from. Also, underneath this pile is a pair of new underwear. Don't worry, all this are brand new and has never been used.

See you at 6 pm. Marcus and I had plans till then.  Good day my dear.

A smile crept to my face. One by one I unfolded the clothes and to my dismay, there's no sign of jeans, it was all dresses. Automatically, I did a face palm.

***
Author's Note
I wrote this chapter while I was in a party. I was bored and felt more anti-social than usual. My choices are; its either I make friends with my food, or write a story. And of course, I chose the first option but then landed with the second one, when people started giving me odd looks. Pun intended.