❤️ ʀᴏᴏᴍᴀᴛᴇs ❤️ ~ A Satogou Story

Wishing I could change the past.

Goh is at loss and doesn't know what to do. Only one thing that springs to his mind is..

Goh's POV

Everything stays still. It's so still, that I can hear the distinctive ticking of the clock filling in the silence. I read the words again. Once more. Then again. I read them again and again, until all the letters dance all around the page and it becomes unreadable. My hands aren't just shaking now. My whole body is shuddering, and my breaths are uneven like someone's punched me in the chest. My heart genuinely feels like it's aching. I don't know what to do.

I tuck my knees up to my chest, staring into the corner of my room and feeling to empty to even cry. Every question in my head is just asking Why Why Why. My hands reach for the rose again, twisting it around to see its full beauty. "Ash." I whisper his name, my heart beating uncomfortably in my throat. "Ash." It turns to silent sobs that I try to smother, and I throw the rose back down onto the duvet, both in regret and anger. When I do, I see the cap and it just ignites the emotion even further. Hugging my knees tightly, a pain in my shoulder ramps up the stiffness all the way to searing agony, faster than I could blink. My phone is vibrating busily but I can't even bring myself to reach for it.

Everything feels like it's falling apart. What did he mean 'nothing dramatic'? My heart is being ripped into fucking shreds this very second, and I can't stand the feeling because it's so unbearably hard. Through the blur of tears, I see a straight beam of sunlight crowding in through the balcony glass. I eventually walk up to the curtains, suddenly every step I take feeling like a chore. As I do, I grab hold of the curtain about to close it, though I stop and rub my eyes, getting a better view of the outside world. There are people who are walking down the road, laughing cheerily with their friends, or couples and families out and about.

It hurts.

My hand clenches on the fabric, and I tug on the curtain properly until no light can get in. Then I stand still, gulping in the darkness of my room. My phone screen is the only source of light because it's still vibrating noisily. Sighing, I shuffle over to my bed again, and see that Dawn has left me several missed calls, as well as what seems like tons of messages. With hesitation, I call her back, biting my lip. I'm wondering what to say while listening to the dialling tone, though I realise there's no dialling tone, and Dawn has picked up straight away.

"Goh!" She sighs with relief on the other end, her voice muffled.

"Yeah?" I realise I sound so glum, like I'm someone from directory enquiries, and clear my throat. "Sorry, hi."

She pauses, like she's figuring something out. "Hey are you um...okay?" She asks, with uncertainty. I lean against the wall, my head spinning.

"Well erm.." I hesitate, twisting on the loose thread of my jumper, unsure of where to start.

Dawn interrupts mid way through. "You sound like you've been dead for 100 years. What's up?" She sound increasingly worried, which isn't what I want. "One minute, Mum!" She yells, her voice distant from the microphone. Then the distinctive sound of shutting a door can be heard. "Right I'm all ears." The way she's really serious is making me tense up. "Goh?"

"Sorry, I'm here." I stutter, snapping out of my doubt. "I don't know where to start." I admit, helplessly.

"Okay. Tell me at your own pace." She says this, though she seems to figure parts of it out. "It's about Ash, yeah?" I nod without thinking.

"Yeah. Of course." I sigh, but she doesn't interrupt me. "Remember that letter?" She hums in acknowledgement, and I suck in a deep breath. "He broke up with me." My voice is shaky, and it makes me shudder that I have to say those words. The silence is unnerving, and too tense for me to be patient in. I stretch at my collar. "Dawn?" I ask, doubtfully, after a few seconds of no answer.