Risk Taker [Englot]

Chapter 15

The next morning I woke up pretty tired and I was thankful that my sister had stayed. She helped make breakfast and dressed up the boys saying that she was the fashion police here. I dropped them off while she was showering. I came back home with some fresh lemonade, her favorite, to thank her. She was still singing, poorly, in the bathroom, so I went to the living room to wait for her.

I sat on the couch, my laptop on my thighs and started to scroll through a few emails... but my mind went to Charlotte as soon as I saw her name on the screen. I took my phone and went to Charlotte's last text. She "really liked the city"... and "needed more time to explore"... I was sure that she had hopped on the cryptic train with me. She wasn't talking about New York. And if she wasn't... this would definitely be a hint about the nights we shared... Or maybe I was totally mistaken... maybe she was just talking about the city... My mind was going back and forth. I opened my gallery and looked at the last picture I took on the Brooklyn Bridge. She was right... maybe we could have explored more of it... More of...

"What are you looking at?" P'Daad said suddenly, her head on my shoulder.

"Fuck! You scared me!" I said, hiding my phone and holding my chest, trying to calm my heart.

"Want to show me the pictures from your trip?" she asked, going around to sit next to me.

"No, I didn't take that many pic..."

"Give me your phone." she cut me, going across my lap.

"No! Don't!"

"What are you hiding??" she asked, extending her arm to try and steal my phone.

"Nothing!"

"Liar!"

"Stop that, you're gonna crush my laptop!" I yelled while I tried to push her off me.

She yielded, thankfully... and scooted back to sit next to me as I looked at her like she was a mad woman... which she was!

"Show me the picture." she said flatly.

"No, there's no picture!"

"What were you looking at then?"

"Nothing!"

"Why are you getting all defensive?"

"I'm not!"

"Who texted you last night?" she asked, looking at me intensely.

My phone started ringing. Saved by the bell.

"It's mom..." I whispered like she could hear us, showing my screen.

"She knows about the lawyer... What are you going to say?"

"I don't know? Should I pick up?" I asked

"If you don't, she's going to call me..."

She was right... I answered my mom's call, pointing the lemonade to P'Daad, which she started sipping with a big smile. Mom and I chatted lightly for a while and then she asked about her friend's lawyer son... She was worried that my sister was having financial issues with her fashion project. I reassured her and tried to get her to focus on something else. I talked about the kids and sent her a few pictures, that did the trick. Half an hour later I was off the hook. I told my sis that I was running late for my meeting with Mr Nampan, even though the appointment was still an hour away.

I got out of the building and decided to walk there to try and get rid of some of the stress. P'Daad said we would talk when I would be ready but I knew she was worried about me... Maybe I could win myself some more time by showing her the few pictures I had taken in New York... There wasn't too much to see really. Even the bridge pic wouldn't say much to her... The "Englot <3" graffiti would be hiding in plain sight if you weren't looking for it... I scrolled through my pictures again. I remembered that Charlotte took a selfie of us in front of the museum... I had totally forgotten to ask her to send it to me... Maybe this was a good thing... Otherwise I would get into much more trouble... and I would spend my time looking at it... Fuck... I missed her too much still.

I kept on torturing myself thinking about Charlotte until I reached the attorney's office. His assistant greeted me and made me wait for a little bit, until Nampan opened the door to his office, welcoming me inside.

"Hello Engfa! I remember you from Suphan Buri."

"Hi Nampan." I said, bowing politely.

"Take a seat, please." he replied, pointing to the chair.

"Thank you for receiving me so fast."

"No worries, no worries. I understand that you wish to start a divorce procedure. Your husband Mr Apo Wattanagitiphat sent us a few documents through his lawyer."

"Oh... he already has a lawyer too..."

"Yes. He does.. and unfortunately she's a real bitch!" he said, frowning while flipping various papers.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Pitchy Saravody is well known to be a very good lawyer. She's very detail oriented AND loves money. Since we often get paid by the percentage of money we can get to our client during a divorce, she's famous for trying to get her client as much as she can..."

"I'm sorry what..."

"This means, Engfa, that she's going to make your husband ask for more than he needs... Are you and Apo in a good relationship? I mean... I know you are getting divorced but... are you on good terms?" he asked.

"I think we could get there... It's still early to tell... But Apo is a good dad. I'm asking for shared custody..."

"Yeah, the custody we won't have much problems with..."

We talked for almost two hours. He gave me a schedule for all the meetings that Apo's lawyer had asked for. Those were mandatory to deal with the details of the divorce and the settlement around the selling of our apartment. Nampan wrote a letter that I would have to give to HR to take a few hours off of work to go to the attorney's appointments. I needed to update them as soon as possible on the upcoming changes in my marital status.

I thanked Nampan and went back home mentally exhausted. I found P'Daad sitting on the floor of my bedroom, rampaging through my clothes. I sat down with her and explained everything that I had understood from the meeting.

"Ok, so basically Apo's going to be manipulated by this bitchy lawyer..."

"Pitchy." I corrected.

"Whatever. And he's gonna ask for more money than he needs..."

"Probably..."

"Well... Maybe you could sell some of your clothes to save up some money?" she asked, looking at the various piles she had made around herself.

"Yeah maybe..."

"Where did you buy these anyway?" she asked, holding a few nightgowns up.

"Hey! You didn't have to go through every single drawer!"

"I did find some interesting things here and there..." raising her eyebrows a few times.

I picked up a sweater and threw it at her in an attempt to avenge myself. We fought, throwing clothes around for a few minutes, screaming like kids. We ended up lying breathless on the wooden floor, tears in our eyes because we laughed too much. I felt a little lighter than I did before coming back home and thanked my sister for being with me during that rough time. I was truly happy that she was here.

We took a break from sorting clothes to eat lunch then went back to it until the middle of the afternoon when most of my things were in suitcases and bags. I had indeed found a few things that I could sell online and P'Daad offered to manage it. I promised to treat her for dinner in a fancy restaurant when I would be done with all this... in a few months... We didn't pack the boys' things though. I wanted to talk to them before starting to sort out half their clothes and toys... I needed to tell them, even if they were young.

We picked Sun and Champ up and took them to the park. Auntie Dada treated them with fresh fruit skewers and smoothies. I smiled looking at the three of them. Sun and her were making faces entertaining a very amused Champ. I realized that I was missing all those moments since it was the babysitter who got to pick them up, to bring them to the park, to eat snacks and to have fun... The guilt put some pressure on my already aching heart. I didn't want to miss more moments like we were sharing right now. I was supposed to go to MOCA to bring Nampan's letter and the meetings schedule but it could wait until tomorrow... Right? December holidays were approaching fast, so the sooner I informed the HR team the better... but it could wait for one more day.

D🍒 : Hi, girl!
D🍒 : No news for a few days, are you ok?
D🍒 : How was NYC?

I realized that in the midst of everything I didn't update my friends on my life. I knew it wasn't ok to keep them in the dark, especially Dolly who has been my friend for years.

E🥭 : Hey, sorry I've been silent
E🥭 : Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning?
D🍒 : You're not working??
E🥭 : No... I have a few things I need to tell you about
D🍒 : Ok, coffee tomorrow at 10?
E🥭 : Yes, usual coffee shop?
D🍒 : Of course
D🍒 : Take care, na!
E🥭 : <3

I was happy that she reached out to me. I haven't been a really good friend lately, having less and less time to socialize... I needed to find balance again and dedicate more time to her. We stayed in the park as long as we could and then parted with P'Daad who went back to her place to prep for our arrival. She kissed her nephews, making big smooch sounds and then came to hug me.

"I'll come back tomorrow afternoon to help you pack the rest of it, ok?" she whispered.

The three of us came back home, I bathed the boys and we shared dinner. I loved those moments, eating together instead of me eating an hour or so after putting them to bed. I used this moment to talk to them about the divorce.

"Sun, Champ, there's something I need to tell you... Mom and Dad can't live together anymore..." I started trying to think of the right words.

Champ was listening to me like I was telling a story, chewing on a banana piece. Sun looked at me very intrigued.

"That means that some days you'll be living with me... and some days you'll be living with Daddy."

"Ok." said Sun, with an interrogative face.

"Ok?" I asked.

"Yes. But Mommy... where are you going to sleep when you're not here with Daddy?"

I chuckled a little, he was worried about me. What a nice boy.

"Well... In a few months we're going to have new houses, one for Mommy and one for Daddy. So that means that you will have two bedrooms!"

"Wow! Two bedrooms for me??"

"Yeah and for Champ too, cause you know you've gotta share, right?" I replied, winking at him.

"So I'm gonna have two beds too??" he asked with a bright smile.

I smiled too. We talked about all the things he would have two of for a while and then we moved on to the nighttime routine and bedtime stories. I went to bed early too, feeling relieved that I had started the conversation with them. The next morning was uneventful until I dropped the boys. I went back home to start packing some of their stuff and decided to inform Apo about it.

E🥭 : I'm gonna go live with P'Daad for a while
E🥭 : You'll have the apartment for yourself while we figure things out
E🥭 : We need to talk about shared custody
E🥭 : Can we talk over the phone tonight?
A🏍️ : Yeah ok
A🏍️ : I can't take the boys next week I have a lot of late afternoon meetings
A🏍️ : I'll come home tonight
A🏍️ : I'll stay during the weekend too
E🥭 : Ok, we'll talk tonight at home

I packed a few things for the boys, mostly clothes and a few toys, since they would probably spend the week with me at my sister's place. I hurried up to go out and meet with Dolly. I had decided to go to MOCA during lunch, hoping to avoid meeting with too many people. Most of them would go out to eat so with a little bit of chance I would go in unnoticed. I grabbed my papers and my bag and jumped on a taxi bike to go to the coffee shop.

Dolly was already there when I arrived, waiting for me at a table outside with two lattes in front of her. I hugged her and sat in front of her. We chatted about everything and nothing for a while until she asked about work.

"So, why are you not working today?"

"I took the week off." I explained.

"The WHOLE week???" she asked, her eyes going wide.

"Yes... Apo and I are getting divorced."

"WHAT?"

I updated Dolly on the recent events in my life and the tribulations that were awaiting me in the next few weeks. She was surprised at first but spent most of this time nodding and approving what I was telling her. I apologized for keeping her in the dark until now and she reassured me that she was just worried.

"Well... you weren't your normal self for a couple of weeks so I figured something was on. You didn't text for quite a while..." she explained.

"Yeah, sorry..."

"To be honest, I thought you were stressed out about going to New York... but I guess that you were preoccupied by the divorce... But don't worry, I know everything will turn out fine. I love Sun and Champ but being a mom is exhausting and you need time to reconnect with yourself. I understand that having them only half the time isn't something you envisioned but it could be a great thing. You can't avoid having to work over hours from time to time but I'm sure every other week when they will be with you'll have more energy to spend time with them. More quality time I mean... You'll find your rhythm, don't worry."

I was so relieved to hear her voice the same thing as my sister. In a way I knew they were absolutely right. I just had to wait for it to happen and experience it to be sure it could work...

"Thank you, Dolly." I said, smiling.

"You sure that's all there is?" she asked suddenly.

"Hum... yeah yeah."

"I know divorcing wasn't part of your big plan for life but I can't help but think that there's more to it... I mean, you would have been mad because of Apo you would have texted me or rant about it. But you've really been less talkative for the past weeks, you didn't send any memes... which is quite unlikely since you like them so much and that's what you usually go for to cheer yourself up when you're in a bad mood..."

I chuckled because she was right. We argued for a couple of minutes because unlike my sister Dolly wouldn't cave in that easily. And I finally yielded and told her about what happened in New York. She was unreadable as I was explaining how I ended up having sex with a coworker... a female nonetheless... She didn't act surprised, she didn't tease me, she just let me tell her about it until I was finally done.

"Do you have feelings for her?" she asked quite simply.

I nodded, tears forming at the corner of my eyes.

"I figured..."

She swallowed the last bit of her latte, got up and hugged me. While she was rubbing my back gently she told me that everything was going to be ok and that she would be there if I needed anything, whether it was with the divorce or my sentimental life. I thanked her. She knew that I wasn't really the type to accept any formation of help that easily but she also knew that I liked to know that the help was indeed available. We chatted about lighter subjects for a while and we left the café.

I said bye to Dolly, after promising to keep her updated a little bit more in the next few days and headed up to MOCA. I went through the main entrance to avoid my coworkers leaving by the "employee only" for lunch. I said a quick hi to the front desk people and went up to the HR office. On my way up I noticed the signs on the wall with arrows directing to the interview room. I forgot that it was today that the first candidates were coming for the graphic designer position. I couldn't help but feel guilty about not being able to do the interviews...

I took a deep breath to refocus before I went through the HR door. I put on a smile and stumbled on Heidi Jansen as soon as I got inside. Oh no... She looked at me with eyes as big as flying saucers... I didn't know how to react. I tried faking being ok but I knew that this wouldn't work with her. Fuck...

"Hello Heidi." I said, smiling gently.

"Hi." she said before leaving the room.

She seemed in a hurry and I was relieved to see her go so fast. I would avoid the awkward personal talk about my week off. I chatted a bit with the HR assistant and then gave her Nampan's letter and the list of meetings I was supposed to attend. She said that she would do as best as she could to juggle with all of this to let me go when I needed to. She would also inform Elsa, her manager, in order to help me with anything. I thanked her before leaving, feeling a little bit better than before I came in. As I was going out, a young lady was trying to come in.

"Sorry, you go first." the young lady said, bowing politely.

"Thank you."

I walked past her, only to end up face to face with none other than Charlotte.

___
Hi guys, I wanted to take some time to tell you how much I'm still so surprised and glad that you keep on reading and rereading my stories, how you keep on giving me feedback and ask for the next part. This warms my heart so much you can't even imagine. I never thought I would write anything ever. It was always something that was in the corner of my mind but acting on it seemed impossible or weird. And then Englot came into my life when I needed them. My appreciation for their intricate relationship and their cute/funny/rollercoastery ways made me jump off the edge and try. I would never have guessed that so many of you would find my first few chapters, read them and let alone like them. You were the one asking me for another story when I finished the first one and I'm so grateful for it. I love writing those Englot stories and I'm really relieved that you guys appreciate Engfa's pov!
Thank you so much again to every single one of you. Much love <3