Risk Taker [Englot]

Chapter 18

I was relieved that Charlotte was still off on Tuesday. I needed a little time to think about how to open up to her while still having to work on making a dent on all the stuff that I still had to tackle. Also, the new graphic designer was supposed to start on January 2nd and I wanted to list everything that I would need her to go over. I locked myself into my office from 8:30am to 6pm without coming out. At the end of the day I was exhausted but I had made some good progress.

I went back home to find my sister playing with my sons on the couch. It was indeed a bit crowded and crazy to have four humans in her apartment but it felt homy and cozy too. I tried to do like the girls had told me last week. So I invited Nudee to join us for dinner. She said yes right away and arrived an hour later with her arms full of take out food. To say that Sun was happy was an understatement. We all sat down on the floor around the coffee table. Nudee was happy to see the boys and even asked to read them bedtime stories. After they fell asleep, my sister took some beers out of the fridge.

"Let's toast!" Nudee said, raising her bottle up.

"Toast? To what?" I asked.

"To a great night!" P'Daad replied smiling.

"Oh yeah that too. But I have something good to share with you guys!" Nudee said.

We waited while she cleared her throat, looking at us trying to hold a serious face, even though the corners of her mouth were twitching.

"I've started to work with Anong Chakrii a few months ago. He's an up and coming new designer..."

"I have no idea who that is." my sister said, intrigued.

P'Daad was working on her own fashion brand for two years now. Her style was casual wear so she wasn't that much aware of the high fashion world.

"Don't worry. The important thing is that he's hosting a New Year's Eve party on sunday. In a huge ass palace hotel in the center of town. And you guys are coming with me!"

"Oh nooo! I can't!" P'Daad whined.

"What? Are you on kids duty? I thought your ex was supposed to have them!" Nudee said, facing me in disbelief.

"Yes, they're staying with Apo." I replied.

"Then why can't you come??"

"Engfa can... But I already have plans with my friends... I'm sorry I would have loved to come."

"Oh that's ok... So..." Nudee said, looking at me intensely.

"So...?"

"So, YOU are coming with me to the party!"

"I was supposed to go with P'Daad..."

"Well, you're not invited anymore." my sister said.

"What??"

"YES!" Nudee said joyfully, clinging her bottle against mine.

"Don't I have a say in this?" I asked.

"Nope." P'Daad and Nudee answered in sync, clinging their bottles together.

"But..." I tried.

"No but! You need to unwind!' Nudee said.

"But I also need to chill back. I think the party with your friends could be..." I started to say to P'Daad.

"Somchai will be there." she admitted bluntly.

"What? Eww..."

"Who's that?" Nudee asked.

"You don't wanna know." P'Daad replied.

"Ok... I'll go with you Nudee."

"Yipee!!!"

We ended up going to bed quite late. We forced Nudee to stay the night because she was tired and drunk. I had to carry her to the bed carefully, trying to not wake up Sun and Champ in the process. I took a couple of minutes to go through my night time routine before I joined her under the bedsheets. She was already snoring like a baby. I smiled, feeling grateful to have such a good friend... As crazy as she was, Nudee had always gone out of her way to help me, whatever I needed. And she was still trying her best to cheer me up in such a weird part of my life.

High pitched laughs woke me up from my slumber. My head hurt a little bit and I knew that I definitely had way too much to drink for a Tuesday night. Half of what I remembered from my dreams was me chasing Charlotte in maze-like hallways while interviewing graphic designers over the phone. I woke up when my hand grabbed Charlotte and she turned around to kiss me. I stood up in my bed, looking around me. Nudee wasn't next to me anymore. Champ had crawled to Sun's mattress and they were laughing.

"Mommy, you awake!"

"Maaa!"

We got up and found Nudee and P'Daad having coffee in the kitchen. We got the kids ready to go and my friend came along with me to drop them off. When I got back to her in front of Sun's school she was texting someone on her phone with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Is everything ok?" I asked, worried.

"Yeah... I'm just fighting with my assistant over some dumb schedule for March."

"Oh! You have an assistant now?"

"I do... but he's kind of dumb..."

"I'm gonna have to go to work soon, do you wanna have some more coffee at the museum's café?" I offered.

"No, I'm good, thanks! I think I'll have to call him to figure shit out..." she said, sighing.

"Thanks for last night." I said, hugging her goodbye.

"My pleasure! I'll come by during the week if you're ok. P'Daad said I could. And we'll see each other on Sunday afternoon right? To get ready for the partaaayyyyy!"

"Sure! I'll ask Apo if I can drop the boys earlier than the usual 6pm."

We parted ways and I went across town to MOCA. I saw Charlotte at the other end of a hallway even before I could reach my office. My heart fluttered right away. I still didn't know how to start the conversation. She looked my way and smiled at me from afar. I couldn't help but blush a little, feeling shy. I nodded softly and went to lock myself up in my office. My heart was beating fast inside my chest. I didn't know why I was so tense right now. I was picturing Charlotte following me, opening my office door and locking it behind herself. I went over a few scenarios in my head... Like the crazy frustrated woman I was apparently... I couldn't choose between wanting her to ravish me here and then... Or if I would have run for my life... if the situation presented itself... Ok, this would have to stop! No more scenarios. No more being crazy. Work and only work!

On Thursday everything was going smoothly until Charlotte came into my office for real. I pinched my thigh under the table, just to be sure I wasn't daydreaming again, but I wasn't. Damn... She pulled back the chair and sat in front of my desk.

"Do we have an appointment?" I asked, trying to hide my feelings.

Charlotte's eyes were scrutinizing around my office, making her look like she was trying to find something to say.

"No, we don't. I just wanted to take some time to properly thank you."

"Thank... me?" I asked quite confused.

"Yes, you know without having to look for a clever text... I wanted to thank you for the flowers, they made me really happy." she said, smiling softly, a light blush on her cheeks.

"Oh right. Your last text was kinda weird... it made me laugh." I said remembering her "you have great taste" bit.

"I'm sorry, it's hard to be cryptic without sounding creepy sometimes."

Damn, she was cute.

"I'm glad you liked the flowers. I saw them while I was doing some shopping and I couldn't resist..." I lied, trying to manage the roaring inside of me.

Charlotte visibly bit the inside of her cheek. My god, that woman was so adorable... and so lovable... How could I ever resist her? I was still thinking about a way to make us closer again and she just did it by walking in my office. To thank me nonetheless. It was so simple. Why was I stressing out so much about this... Maybe my feelings were making me lose my grip... I needed to focus back on what mattered. And right now it was Charlotte. Charlotte, who was currently on the other side of my desk, looking like she was struggling.

"Engfa... I... love them. They make me smile every time I see them."

The roaring inside intensified, making my heart beat faster.

"And I loved your drawing, Charlotte. It made me feel really special when I realized that the gift on my desk was from you..."

I just said it back... I used "love" and her name in the same sentence. Fuck. Why was I feeling so hot and dizzy right now?

"I drew it while thinking about you..." she said, blushing some more before looking down to her feet.

I watched her as she squeezed her fingers into fists, still looking at the floor. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what. The words were crashing in my mind. Should I tell her that I was missing her like crazy? Should I just tell her I was getting through divorce right now? Should I just ask her how she was handling her own life during the last few weeks? Should I tell her I wanted... her...?

Suddenly Charlotte looked back up at me, like she had access to my mind. Her eyes pierced my soul. I didn't move, not even an eyelash as time stood still around us. I was waiting for her to say something... anything... but she got up and walked herself out of my office.

"Bye." she said as the door closed behind her.

What had just happened? I was completely dumbfounded. All I knew was that my heart was trying to fly off my chest, beating harder than ever. My palms were sweaty like I had run under the sun... I got a few deep breaths in before drying my hands to text Nudee. I probably needed to unwind some more...

E🥭 : Hang out with us tonight?

Her reply didn't take too long.

N🌼 : Of course!
N🌼 : Tell your sister I'll bring beers!

Charlotte was nowhere to be found for the rest of the day. I still didn't know what to say to her but at least just being in front of her would probably help me talk. I went to her office, no one. I checked the bathrooms from the 1st to the 4th floor, still no sign of Charlotte. I wondered for a minute if I should text her but decided not to. Maybe she had already gone back home... and maybe it was time for me to do the same thing... so I did. I picked up the boys and we went to the park for some playtime. At least when I was with them I could stop thinking about Charlotte. A little bit. A tiny tiny bit.

Nudee joined us again for dinner. Sun was really happy to have someone who would agree to read any story for him, even the ones his aunt and I couldn't bear anymore. Once the kids were in bed, we opened a few beers and cheered to the upcoming end of the year. I really needed to blow some steam off. Getting divorced, while still waiting for the answers of the lawyers was stressing me out. Working my ass off to make up the week I wasn't there was kind of exhausting... and missing Charlotte was making me frustrated on top of everything.

"Charlotte came to my office today." I blurted out between sips.

The two of them stopped drinking and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Did you talk to her?" Nudee asked.

I shook my head no, looking guilty.

"What did she come to your office for then?" my sister said.

"I... I don't really know." I lied.

P'Daad and Nudee exchanged a meaningful look, even though I had no idea what it was supposed to mean.

"At some point she stopped talking, looked at her feet for a while and then stormed out of my office, barely saying bye..." I admitted.

"Did you say something bad to her?" Nudee scolded me.

"No! Not at all. I just... thanked her... for... something... and she got all weird..." I didn't know what to say to them anymore, blushing as I was trying to find my words.

"You clearly miss her." P'Daad said.

"For sure and you are clearly frustrated. I bet she made you all flustered..." Nudee added.

"No!" I tried to defend myself.

"No need to lie. I understand very well how being frustrated can make you go mad.".

My sister nodded, approving Nudee. The night went on and thankfully Nudee started sharing about her own frustrations and her latest crush so I was saved, for now... We went to bed a little less drunk than on Tuesday which was a good thing. However my dreams weren't more peaceful. Charlotte haunted them in the very best way. And waking up inside my sister's bedroom without her clinging to me was really disappointing.

P'Daad had offered to take Sun to school this morning because he had asked her all week long. They went out together while Nudee and I were playing with Champ, savoring our morning coffee.

"You seem less tired today." Nudee said.

"Oh? Well I guess we drank less than the other night..."

"Yeah... it seems like you had a good night... good dreams..."

"I..."

"You moaned her name... a lot." she said, winking at me.

I blushed so hard it wasn't even funny.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, faking being surprised, without any success.

"Oh! Mmmm Charlotte..." Nudee moaned.

"I did NOT!" I said, punching her arm.

"Ouch! Yeah right you did!" she snapped back, pushing me.

"Liar!"

"And you know what? You moaned her name on Tuesday night too!"

"What? No!"

"Yep. I didn't say anything but damn girl... You must be frustrated as hell!!"

"Mamaaaaa!" Champ interrupted our argument, asking for a little bit more attention.

We met with P'Daad downstairs as she was getting back from school. She hugged Nudee and kissed Champ on his little head.

"And me?" I asked, feeling a little bit left out.

"Oh god... You're really needy, Engfa!" she whined, hugging me anyway.

"She is! She was moaning Charlotte's name again during the night..." Nudee said.

"Nudee!"

"Again?!" my sister asked.

"Leave me alone, you two! I have to drop off Champ or I'm gonna be late!" I said, leaving both of them together in front of the building.

I walked to the daycare center with Champ wrapped against me in his favorite sling. He was babbling while playing with one of the straps. I kissed his forehead.

"At least I have you to support me, right? You won't torture Mama, will you? Promise?"

He looked at me with the biggest smile. I smiled back and hugged him some more when we arrived at daycare. I waved him goodbye before hurrying outside. I was definitely late for work... The first half of the day went by without a break. I even forgot about lunch. The ringtone of my personal phone woke me up from my work transe.

"Hello Engfa!"

"Oh hello Nampan, how are you?"

"I bring good news! The devil finally sent the agreement back. They didn't have any more requests. So that means..."

"Yes?" I asked in anticipation.

"...given the time it will take for the various administrations to proceed with your file... You'll probably receive the official divorce papers in early April!"

"No way! Thank you so much!" I said, feeling so relieved.

"They accepted the settlement on the apartment. Your ex husband probably took in our argument of you living with your sister and him staying there until you find a buyer."

That meant that in a few months we will be officially divorced, could sell the apartment and I would have enough money back to rent my own place without struggling too much! This was so good to hear. I thanked Nampan and opened my texts right away. I informed Dolly, P'Daad and Nudee right away. I saw Charlotte's name a few lines down but refrained myself.

The rest of the day flew by just as fast and I found myself back home with my sister, on her couch, Sun and Champ already fast asleep.

"I think it's time I tell Mom..." I said to P'Daad.

"Need me to hold your hand?"

"Yeah... maybe..."

It was one of the most terrifying calls of my life. But after a while my Mom eased into it. We stayed on the phone for two hours. She was used to my risk taking personality but I knew that each time I did something that seemed reckless to her she was more worried for me than mad at me. She made me promise to visit her with the kids by the end of January before I hung up. I fell asleep that night feeling both relieved and completely exhausted.

Waking up realizing we were Saturday was delightful. I survived the best part of the weekend as best as I could but if I could have taken a 12 hour nap I would have. I dropped Sun and Champ to Apo's around 4pm. Thanking him for taking care of them earlier than we used to. I also thanked him for having sent his agreement on the divorce. He brushed it off like it was nothing, which was kinda weird for him.

"Do you want to stay with us for dinner?" he asked, acting weirdly seductively.

"Erm... no thank you, Nudee's waiting for me. Remember? That's why I asked if you could have them a little bit earlier." I said, smiling as I looked at our boys.

"Mmm... you sure you don't want to stay a little bit?" he said, getting closer.

I rejected him again and he looked pissed off. What has gotten into him? That seductive act was so strange. It made me feel so uneasy. I knew I didn't need any more confirmation about my attraction to him. I was over. For real. I kissed Sun and Champ and wished them a good week.

An hour later, I was at Nudee's place. She had told me to not bring anything and that she would lend me clothes for the night. Her flat was tiny and mostly filled with racks of clothes, bags, shoes... She welcomed me with a hug and some iced tea to cheer for my divorce.

"We have a few hours so you can try them all!" she said with a big smile, showing me a lot of clothes on her bed.

She made me try on designer dresses, skirts, gowns until the sun was almost down. I felt weird or uneasy in most of them. They felt way too much for someone like me. I knew everybody was going to be overdressed at this party, Nudee told me a bunch of times to reassure me... But I didn't feel like I could pull it.

"Do you have like... a feminine suit? You know something classy..." I asked, tired of looking like a fool.

"Oh! I think I do! Wait!"

She ran to her closet and fumbled around for a bit before coming back to her bedroom with a black and white suit and a beautiful black satin blouse.

"You're right this will be more your style... but it's too simple."

"No, I like it." I replied, grabbing it.

"No, no, no... Let me think... Ah!" she said, fumbling again in a cupboard then on a shoe rack.

"Nudee, I'm not wearing those." I said when she handed me white high heels and see through underwear.

"No more arguing, Waraha!"

A few hours later we were dancing like crazy inside the gigantic ballroom of the hotel. Nudee was right, this was a great party. And my suit got me more approving looks than I would have thought, even from people who were looking way more fashionable than me. It made me feel empowered and more carefree. For a long time I was really having fun. Around 11pm the host turned off the music to make a speech. Waiters handed us drinks and everybody cheered when the famous Mr Chakrii stopped talking and we all raised our glasses before emptying them in one go.

The music started again and the alcohol was starting to get to me. Nudee and I were pulling all the moves in our repertoire, sexy, robot, weird, goofy, we did it all. We were dancing and laughing and I felt so light, until someone yelled.

"Nudeeeeeeeee!"

I saw two beautiful women run towards my friend, hugging her like they knew each other forever. Nudee almost jumped in the air seeing them. I took a step back, giving them some space to greet each other. I looked around and that's when I saw her. Charlotte Austin was standing just a few meters away from me.

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Sorry to have made you wait this long!
Hope you will like this chapter <3