Risk Taker [Englot]

Chapter 25

I wasn't dreaming, Charlotte was calling me back. Finally. I felt so relieved that I picked up her call right away, not wasting any seconds.

"Charlotte?" I asked, my heart feeling heavy.

"Hey..." her voice was so faint, like a whisper but I was so relieved to have her on the phone.

"Are you ok?" I asked, still nervous.

"I'm sorry Engfa..."

Fuck. What could have happened? Dozens of bad thoughts stormed inside my head as I heard Charlotte apologizing.

"What do you mean?" I asked, shaking.

"I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I made you worry about me."

Oh fuck. I let out a deep breath as I felt some relief go through me. Charlotte was just feeling guilty because she took a long time to call. I was just so happy that she finally did. But that wasn't telling me how things went at home and if she was feeling ok.

"Charlotte... I love you, of course I'm worried! But it doesn't matter. What matters is if you are ok."

I heard her sobbing. That broke my heart and made me want to cry right along with her. Shit. I needed to be stronger than this.

"Oh baby... Do you want me to come?" I asked, ready to get off the sofa and run across the city.

"No... I'm..."

She was struggling to calm down and get the words out. Did something happen to her? Did I say something bad?

"It's just so good to hear your voice." she finally managed to say.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm ok."

Her voice was getting steadier, making me hope that she was indeed telling the truth.

"Aoom, Meena and Nudee have invited Heidi and I to get coffee together tomorrow. They ask if you'd want to come with us..."

Damn... I had already said no to Nudee...

"I'm working tomorrow..." I started.

"Oh..."

I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"I'm behind on a few projects because of the week I took off work when we got back from New York..." I tried to explain.

"I'll let you sleep, you waited for me long enough." Charlotte replied, her voice getting faint again.

"I'm ok." I said, trying to sound like I was, even though I was still kind of on edge.

"Engfa?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

The tears came to my eyes instantly. I felt overwhelmed. In a good way. Whatever happened to her, Charlotte reaffirmed her feelings for me. And it felt so moving.

"I love you too, Charlotte."

We said goodnight and hung up. It was indeed very late and after the night we shared and the stress of the end of the day I really needed to stop thinking and get some sleep inside me.

When the alarm clock woke me up the next morning I hated my choice to go to work on January 2nd. I just wanted to roll over and sleep some more. Yet... I had to get up and get ready. As the warm water soothed my tired body in the shower, my thoughts went back to the steamy moments Charlotte and I had shared the night before... I missed her touch. I missed her presence next to me. I missed listening to her voice and looking into her eyes...

The sex was real good but I wanted more. I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to hold her hand. To hang out. To talk... But I didn't know if she was ready for all this. I didn't even know what happened to her after she got out of the taxi. Should I text her? It was pretty early so maybe not...

I was still debating on how to start the conversation with Charlotte without putting any kind of pressure on her. I wanted her. So bad. But I could wait. I needed to give her enough space to find her way and be there when she needed me... without leading the way.

I packed a salad for lunch while snacking on a few pieces of fruit and I left the apartment even before my sister got up from bed. I wanted to be at work early to do as many things as possible. I hated being behind on projects. It made me stressed out which I really didn't need right now.

It was barely 8am when I sat down at my desk and turned on my laptop. At some point my phone buzzed a few times in a row inside my pocket.

N🌼 : Change of plans!
N🌼 : We're going for some cocktails tonight!
N🌼 : Charlotte is coming too!
E🥭 : Cocktails?
E🥭 : I don't know...
N🌼 : Well, I know where you live, so...
E🥭 : 😰
N🌼 : Let's meet in Siam Square at 8pm
E🥭 : You're so bossy...
N🌼 : Love you, na!

When I closed the text app on the phone, I realized that it was now already past noon. I worked non-stop for over four hours. My stomach growled loudly so I took the salad and a canned latte from my bag. But I couldn't stop working. I had made a lot of progress but I still had a lot to tackle so I munched on my salad while going over some notes that needed to be approved.

Suddenly my office door opened and I had trouble swallowing what I was chewing on when I realized that it was Charlotte coming in. Why was she here?

"What are you doing here?" I almost stuttered.

She didn't answer. Instead she closed the door behind her and locked it. What the hell? What was she planning to... oh god... I suddenly remembered the night we shared and her fantasies about work...

"Charlotte... we... we can't..."

I was so flustered that the words wouldn't get out of my mouth. She was looking at me so intensely. I could feel the blush coming to my cheeks. There weren't that many people at work today... Flashes of Charlotte taking me on my desk were starting to flood my mind. I gulped and squeezed my thighs as she took a seat in front of me.

"I'm not here to have my way with you while you try to keep quiet." she said.

"Oh... okay." I replied, not knowing if I was feeling relieved or disappointed it wasn't happening at this point.

"But believe me, seeing you this affected by the idea of it made me falter a bit..."

Damn that girl. My heart got a bit heavier as it was sinking deep inside me that I was so in love with her.

"Are you ok?" I asked, since we hadn't really talked last night when she had called me.

"Not really... I came because I really need to talk and I didn't want to do it over the phone."

I nodded quietly.

"Mew wasn't home when I left you yesterday. After I finished packing I waited for him for a long time. It was almost night when he arrived. We started talking and got into a fight. He said that I was responsible for breaking our family apart and ruining Miles' life..."

Charlotte started sobbing but she kept talking through the tears as I nodded again to encourage her.

"At some point his words hurt me so much... that I started to have an anxiety attack... When he approached me... I smelled the perfume of someone else on him... I got nauseous realizing that... he had spent... the night with somebody else."

I didn't know what hurt me the most, seeing Charlotte crying or my fears starting to become real.

"He said that he was ready to go see... a therapist with me to save our marriage..." she said in between sobs.

I wanted to reach out, to grab her hand in mine, to hug her... but I couldn't. My body was frozen. I could just nod.

"Everything in my head was spinning at that point... I didn't know what to think anymore... And then, he went to the suitcases and bags that I had packed... He grabbed Miles's stuff and started to put it back in his room..."

Fuck. I was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe anymore. Yet, I kept on nodding.

"That's when Heidi called me... I couldn't pick up... I was so lost and stunned... but she insisted... and then she texted me... When I looked at her texts I saw yours, Engfa... That's when I snapped out of my frozen state... You... saved me."

The air started to fill my lungs again.

"I got up... because of you. I took my suitcase, ready to leave... Mew tried to take it back from my hand... and he got angrier... But... I kept thinking about you and held strong... Heidi called again and I answered this time... Thanks to both of you I got out."

I should have gone with her. Things could have gotten even worse than that... I wasn't there to protect her...

"Engfa, I am in love with you... I know I'm a bad person... I cheated on my husband... and I didn't tell him the truth yet... But I... when I realized he had probably slept with someone else I felt somewhat relieved because we were even now... I know it's not a good way of thinking..."

Charlotte was overwhelmed, spilling everything out here in front of me. I knew that but I also knew that I needed her to get it all out before I could talk. She was still crying... But I was so relieved.

"I know you went through something similar with Apo... and that you're way ahead of me... and more mature than me... Because Engfa... I love you but... I'm scared... I know Mew and I are over... and that I want you... but Miles... it hurts..."

No more words left her mouth. So I tried to gather my thoughts before I started talking. I wanted to be as honest as I could be with her.

"I do understand, Charlotte. But I can't force you to be with me if you still want to keep your family the way it is now. I don't want to influence you with my way of thinking. It's your decision to make. I know you're scared. But there's no right or wrong way. You'll find your answer. Just trust yourself."

She dried the tears on her cheeks, smiling softly.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, her voice trembling a little.

"Of course."

"Can you picture or want a life together? It's not about influencing me. I just want the truth."

Her question made my heart falter. I looked at her, my mind going thousands of miles an hour. Charlotte was really considering building a future with me. What she had said back in the hotel room was real. She wanted to share, to support each other... But we didn't know each other that well... We had been working together for a few tears, yes, but... Was it enough? The tiger-flies in my stomach were screaming YES! My sister, Dolly, Nudee... they kept on saying that I should let go... follow my instincts... As I looked into Charlotte's eyes I knew that I was in love with her. I just needed to get the words out.

"I do. And I'm willing to wait for you if you need time to find out how you want to deal with your life."

Charlotte let out a big breath. She must have been so stressed out to tell me all of this.

"Engfa, I want to break up with Mew and be with you. But I need time to bring the news to Miles and find a way to help him get through all of this. And right now I don't know how to do this."

I could understand what she was going through. I shared the same thoughts and doubts when I had to choose between my old life and leaving Apo.

"Engfa... When I'll officially end things with Mew... Will you be my girlfriend?"

That time I couldn't hold off the emotions. My eyes started to hitch... I was so happy.

"Yes." I replied, smiling.

Charlotte smiled back and then bit her bottom lip before speaking again.

"I want you to be assured that I don't desire him anymore and I don't want him in any way... So... would you be ok to... keep seeing me and having sex with me while I find out how to not fucked my son's life too much?"

Oh... damn... would that mean...

"That would make me... your mistress?"

She winced.

"Well, I don't really like this word but... I guess that's what we became for one another since New York..."

"I..." I tried but she didn't let me talk.

"To be honest Engfa, I love you so much but I also crave you. December was so hard because I couldn't touch you. I know damn well that New Year's Eve didn't happen just because Mew and I had a fight. I would have made you mine sooner or later here. I know our situation at work isn't helping... but I can't keep my hands off of you. And I want to spend more time with you, getting to know you more and more..."

Wow. Fuck. Now I kinda wanted her to bend me over my desk... But I couldn't... so I just nodded.

"Ok. I'll be your... mistress."

She smiled so wide it made me want to get up and hug her tightly. I needed to get some control back over what was happening. I just went through so many emotions... and Charlotte too. I needed to make things as clear as possible and not let us get too crazy.

"But Charlotte... this is about getting to know each other inside and out. It's not about me helping you sort things out at home, ok? I still don't want to interfere more than I already am." I stated, quite firmly.

I truly believed the words that I just said but part of me was saying this to get a grip and not appear too weak...

"Understood." she replied, like we were having a meeting about work.

But then the tension in between us got up a notch as Charlotte looked at my lips, unconsciously licking hers. Damn... she was so fine...

"Aoom changed our coffee time to beers tonight. Would you like to come?" she said suddenly, like she was fighting back her own arousal.

Beers? Didn't Nudee say cocktails? Whatever it was, I knew I couldn't say no... Because my crazy friend would search for me everywhere if I decided not to go... And I really wanted to go out with Charlotte. So I nodded yes.

"Heidi will be there too."

"Oh... I'll get through it, I think." I replied, winking.

It was cute to see her be so careful about it. Damn, I loved her. So much.

"Ok! See you after you get out of work?" she asked.

I didn't have to say yes. She got up, put her hands on my desk and bent down towards me. Maybe having sex on my desk wasn't a good idea but I could at least kiss her secretly inside my locked office without feeling too guilty. So I leaned forward and pecked her lips.

Feeling their softness and warmth awakened the tiger-flies again. They roared and I blushed. I pushed myself away from her, leaning back against my chair, trying to anchor myself.

"I'll text you the address!" she said joyfully before leaving my office.

So many things had happened in so little time. Charlotte told me everything that has happened, she shared her doubts and also almost asked me out... It took me the rest of my lunch and half an hour of zoning out to get back on track to work again. Thankfully, feeling mostly relieved helped me get into the flow again.

When 7pm hit, every task that I needed to go through was almost done. With some more effort tomorrow I was convinced that I wouldn't be behind anymore. Feeling satisfied, I packed my things and headed out. I couldn't wait to be with Charlotte again!

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Hi guys! Here's one more chapter.
Hope you enjoyed it.
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