They were brothers all their life, what if a single impulsive mistake can change everything?
The thoughts about the forbidden feelings eating both alive, completely different in nature brothers with different beliefs and mindset face the hardest an...
P.S. I am out, and i am sorry, i was dealing with some issues with my health, my back isn't doing great even with massages. I am a walking sticker right now) the cooling patches aren't helping with headaches but at least muscles, i have to have high physical activity and i can't combine it with my work so i am stressing muscles out...but i have tickets to the USA finally! I will spent 2 weeks there travelling, u can't imagine the size of the aid kit i will take (and i am in my early 20th man), haha.... I will so vlog, i have an account on TIK TOK, with SKZ staff and my vlogs but i am not sure how i feel to show my face).....maybe, it will happen some day. I am not ashamed cause of books, but it's just the thing that my face is used for some photographers' pages and shoots that may influence them and my page...when i will stop that sh... i will totally expose myself, i am a proud BABY STAY!...But i hope u are healthy and eat well!
BIG HUG!
He fell asleep in my bed as my mother was sleeping in the other room. I stepped on the balcony taking the cigarette that I promised myself not to smoke anymore but the reality was abusive and I had no idea how it will go on. I hated the choices led me to this all.
I hated myself for being such unperfected person.
The smoke from the cigarette was running out of the lips as I heard some steps as my mother entered the balcony sitting in front of me.
-What's wrong, son?
-Mother, I think I messed up, a lot.
My head fell on the board I front of me as I inhaled the smoke again.
-Talk to me and I will try to help u.
-I think I made a mistake.
-Why do you think it's a mistake?
She asked looking at me as I felt her soft touch on my back.
-I like one person and I can't even talk about it out, I can't hold his hand, I can't open up about it at all.
I whispered looking at her.
-He?
-Yes, I am bi, mother.
-It's alright, but why can't u talk open about it?
She took my hand touching the cold fingers I had at the moment.
-It's just he is my brother.
-Felix? He isn't u brother, so it should be alright.
She said smiling soft to me.
-Yes but the whole city thinks we are, how can I explain it to public and I hate myself for even wanting to explain something.
I teared apart fallow in the chair near her.
-Chan listen to me, society will never get but I think if it will be told to public that u have no relations, there wil be no problem.
-But I feel like I am an alien.
-We all do in some things, isn't it what makes us different and unique? Isn't it what separates from being the copycats?
I signed as the last lights from the cigarettes fell on the floor as I threw it in the small can in front of me.
-I mean I fell that following my heart is such a wrong choice?
-But why, do u feel like the feelings aren't enough?
-I feel I will defeat this battle and maybe it's better to end it before I wil break his heart, for nothing?
-Feeling loved isn't nothing, why can't u fight it son?
She smiled through the tears as I looked on the floor I was ashamed to say I felt weak and tired.
-I have this last year at school with exams and the pressure is so high, I don't go home and still I feel pressure from parents, I don't want to pull him along side with me.
-Tell me about him, I am curious.
My mother asked me as I smiled a little opening the lips.
-He is an angel, he has heart full of love, he can't hurt a thing, his voice is so beautiful and calm, his personality makes me want to protect him till the last minute I have, his eyes look for love al the time, he feels the mood u are in instantly, he often sneaked in snacks when I got scolded from dad, he would cover my ass millions of times, he is just so adorable and lovely.
The pure hearted and I am used, dirty, man who didn't have any proper relationships until now, i just fell in the black hole with the one night stands and light hearted things, I am lost and he is my guiding star but I feel like I will be a burden for him.
-Ask him, talk to him, it's the key of everything, the communication, love.
She whispered smiling to my speech.
-Christopher, I think u are in love, hold it tight, it's the only feeling that can cure anything on this planet. Don't lose it son, or misery of the life will defeat u.
She said standing up as I locked my eyes returning back to the room as the body of his was calm and peacefully sleeping on the bed. I kissed his forehead lying down as I felt him moving closer to me as I still couldn't fall asleep thinking about the conversation I had.
Am I strong enough to go through it?
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