His Second Addiction

Chapter 21

Aaidah:

Next morning I woke up by Aaran's screaming my name. I opened my eyes and sat down on the bed, rubbing my eyes. Aaran is standing in front of me glaring at me. I looked at him confused not understanding why he is being like this. “Why was I on top of you?” Then the realization hit me. Everything that happened last night was flashing in front of my eyes.

I stood up and punched him right on his face without giving him any chance to do anything. “Try to remember what you did, fucking bastard.” I moved aside to go to the bathroom but he pulled me closer to him by grabbing my arm. “Aaidah, learn to control your anger cause next time I will forget my morals and won't hesitate to raise my hand on you.” I scoffed at what he said. What else can I even expect from him?

I pushed him away harshly, his back hitting the bedside table. I don't care even if he got hurt. “After you remember everything don't come to me to apologize.” With that saying I went to the bathroom hurriedly. This time he didn’t stopped me either neither he said anything else to me.

As soon as I entered inside the bathroom I closed the door then I stood under the shower, turning it on. I didn’t even take off my clothes. The water is cold making me shiver but I wanted to shiver more. I want this cold water to remind me that I should remain a cold hearted person instead of being emotional. I was stupid! I actually cried last night when I processed everything that happened.

Again I'm crying. I don't know why I'm hurt this much? I hate him, don't I? Then his actions shouldn’t hurt me in any way. But it seems like someone stabbed me in my heart. I can't explain how am I feeling. He said he wouldn't cheat but he lied. Isn't he cheating? Otherwise why did he take Zaria's name after he kissed me?

Ya Allah for the first time I'm asking you to give me strength to face this situation. I can't look at Aaran without feeling hurt and ending up crying. I can't even look at Zaria without hatred cause I can't help but think that what if Zaria have something going on with Aaran? What if she is cheating on Asael bhai like Aaran is doing with me? Is this why Zaria act strange around Aaran? So that no one would suspect them?

I hate my overthinking. This force me to think many stupid things. But then again my overthinking always turn out be right in the end. What if it's true this time too?The reason why this is effecting me so much is because I got cheated on by my first love, Atib. I thought Aaran will be different even though we don't love each other. But still we are married! I can expect loyalty from him right? Did I ask for too much?

I wiped my tears. I won't let this effect me. I'm a strong woman. My baba always taught me to be strong in every situation. He taught me to overcome every situation like a strong woman. Though he always told me that crying doesn’t make someone weak. We can cry in private but be strong in front of the world, especially in front of that person who have hurt us. That's what I'm gonna do now.

I took off my clothes and took a long relaxing shower. I wore the bathrobe and came out, directly going towards the closet since I didn’t took my clothes with me. I quickly wore my clothes. While on my way outside to our room I saw Aaran sitting on the couch groaning in pain while holding his head. It's obvious that he will have a headache. But do I care? No, I don't. So I left without glancing at him again.

I wished good morning to everyone except Zaria. I know I shouldn’t jump to any conclusion without knowing the full story but I can't help it. I started to overthink again as soon as I saw her. After few minutes Aaran came too and sat beside me. I didn’t even look at his way. “Did you two fought?” Huriya whispered near my ear as she sat beside me on my left side. I shook my head negatively and smiled at her to ressure her that everything is fine.