Soukoku Oneshots.

I'll always love you

Angst.

Inspired by the author of spring without you.

“Look Dazai-san! It’s snowing! How odd is that?”

It had been some time since Chuuya passed away, casting a shadow of gloom over everything.

Especially noticeable was Dazai's silence, his words now rare and precious like fragments of a forgotten melody.

He seemed to have shed his usual demeanor, immersing himself in his work with an uncharacteristic diligence.

Yet, there were days when he didn't show up at all. During breaks, he remained silent, lost in the pages of a book or slipping away to some unknown destination, only to return quietly. Gone was the whiny, lazy facade, replaced by a solemn presence.

He'd simply sit and stare into the void, lost in his thoughts.

While the others remained oblivious,  Chuuya's absence felt particularly heavy, especially on his birthday.
He chose to stay away from work that day.

Which now leads us to our current timeline.

"Dazai-san!" Atsushi called out again, trying to get his attention.

"Hey, look! It's snowing. Pretty strange, huh?"

It did seem a bit strange for
November. Snow usually came much later. Dazai glanced at Atsushi with a serious expression. "Don't go out there, you'll sick," he said tiredly, shaking his head.

Atsushi sighed, realizing that his mentor was still in the process of healing.

Dazai excused himself from the room and made his way to the hallway, where he stood silently, his gaze fixed on the wall ahead.

Flashback

In the dim light of their shared room, Dazai lay close to Chuuya, clinging to him as if fearing he might slip away.

The reminder of fatal familial insomnia loomed over them, threatening to snatch away Dazai's beloved partner.

In the early stages of Chuuya's illness, Dazai clung to hope, fervently praying that Yosano’s grim prognosis was mistaken, desperately searching for any sign of a treatment that could offer salvation.

Despite Dazai's  hopes, reality came crashing down when Chuuya's condition worsened. Yet, even in the midst of his own struggle, Chuuya's voice pierced through the darkness, pointing to the falling snow with a mix of wonder and sadness.

“Look Dazai, it’s snowing. How odd is that?”

Dazai gazed at Chuuya sadly, unable to bring himself to utter the truth that hovered over them like a dark cloud.

Hallucinations.

Knowing deep down that snowfall at such a time was impossible, Dazai chose to play along, offering a faint smile to mask the anguish that threatened to consume him.

"You're right, slug," he replied wearily, his words tinged with exhaustion.

Despite his own weariness, a spark of happiness flickered within Dazai as he looked at Chuuya's radiant expression. "We should go out! It's been a while!" he agreed, though the fatigue etched on his face was unmistakable to anyone who cared to notice.

Dazai sighed softly as he playfully toppled Chuuya, eliciting a surprised yelp from him. With gentle affection, Dazai planted a kiss on Chuuya's cheek.

“Don’t go out there silly slug. You’ll get sick.”

End of flash back

As the memory dissolved, Dazai's smile was bittersweet, a solitary tear slipping down his cheek. That was one of his best memories.

It was the last time he witnessed that smile, before Chuuya was taken away, peacefully in his sleep.

He couldn't even bid farewell. No goodbye.

Hugging his knees tightly against his chest, Dazai had heavy eyebags, testament to his nights spent in restless turns. Lack of sleep.
Sleep claimed Chuuya, and Dazai knew that soon it would come for him too.

Unlike before, Dazai's longing to be taken by sleep grew more desperate, his heart aching for the chance to see his beloved red-headed partner smile again, even if it meant surrendering to the cold embrace of eternal slumber.

"I'll see you soon, Chuuya," Dazai whispered, his words not just a fleeting thought but a solemn promise.

Dazai swallowed a pill he had taken from yosano, then closed his eyes, drifting into a cherished memory.

It was the final one where Chuuya was healthy, embracing him tightly, their laughter filling the air, Chuuya's smile radiant despite his playful struggles.

Dazai savored the memory of Chuuya, vibrant and alive in his arms.
Dazai and Chuuya playfully exchanged nicknames.

On that fateful night when insomnia first revealed its grip on Chuuya, Dazai held him close, his embrace a desperate attempt to shield his beloved from the horrible event to come. He pressed kisses to Chuuya's brow, willing to do anything to ward off the overwhelming sadness threatening to consume them both.

The last words he yearned to express, lingering unspoken on his lips...

"I love you"

Were the words that finally escaped his lips, tears cascading down his cheeks as he felt his strength slipping away.

"I'll see you very soon, my little slug,"
He whispered.

“Very soon……”



I made myself cry. That story was so beautiful, first and only thing to make me cry. The author made me sob for days.

I’LL make it up, I made this to give something before I finish battle of uno.

I’ll be posting my works, new fanfics, on ao3. So please check it out. The first one that is still updating is “Running down to Tokyo.”

Have a great day.(I'm sorry for reminding you of that fic)