Change My Mind

18 - Don't be a stranger

Harry's POV

When closing time came around, we were sent out onto the streets in high spirits. Liv was being clingy, holding onto my arm and making eyes at me. I felt incredibly shitty for wanting to tell her to stop. I'd slept with her and no amount of alcohol could excuse that. I had been drunk and frustrated, but I had let her down by taking advantage of the situation. Talking to Elowen about it only made me feel worse. The fact that she knew that Liv and I had shared a pitiful attempt at sex really complicated things. How could she ever look at me like she had before it happened? I had already been struggling to get her to want to see me, because she didn't want Liv to get hurt, but by sleeping with Liv, I had just made everything ten times worse.

"My feet really hurt," Liv complained and looked up at me. I was about to offer her that I could get her a taxi, when Stig offered to give her a piggyback ride. He winked at me when he took her off my hands, literally. He shot a glance over at El and nodded in her direction. Then he took off with Liv, making her laugh loudly, as he distracted her by galloping down the street. 

El was walking slowly with Josh, who needed to pause every now and again to bend over at the threat of throwing up. Niall tapped me on the shoulder and said he'd take over, so I could walk with El. 

"Thanks Nialler," I whispered and patted his shoulder. Niall slung Josh's arm over his shoulders and hoisted him up to walk on with him. 

"Come on now, buddy. You need some fresh air and then a taxi home, I reckon." Niall chuckled as Josh groaned. El tried to hide a laugh, as Niall dragged Josh along with him. Josh was trying to speak in an Irish accent and it wasn't very good to be honest. But Niall found it unbelievably funny and guffawed at every word coming out of Josh's mouth. Niall's infectious laughter made both El and me laugh too.

I walked side by side with El, my hands buried in my pockets, even though I desperately wanted to hold her hand. "Are you happy with how your birthday turned out?" I asked her. Her fingers went straight to the golden leaf hanging around her neck as she nodded. 

"Yes, definitely. Couldn't have asked for a better night," she said and chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I'm glad you came." 

I failed holding in a stupid grin. "I'm glad you wanted me here. I was fairly certain I was blacklisted." 

"Why would you be blacklisted?" She chuckled and looked up at me with those beautiful hazel eyes of hers. There was something about them that made my knees go weak. 

"Because I fucked up," I said under my breath and shook my head at myself. I felt like such an idiot; a weak, spineless fool who had given in to someone, I wasn't even into. Liv wasn't holding back on how much she wanted things between us to progress, but it was becoming more and more clear to me that I wasn't on the same page. I really, really liked El. She had a depth to her. She constantly made me laugh and she happened to infuriate me quite a bit as well. I wanted her, and it wasn't just that I wanted to kiss and touch her. Although I did want that too. I wanted to know everything about her, most of all to understand why she insisted on living in Liv's shadow. Liv seemed to thrive with El putting her on a pedestal that I wasn't sure she belonged up on. Not when it meant that El was always in the shadows doing her best to make Liv look good. They were very unalike and where Liv was bold and extroverted, El was quiet and introverted. Liv wanted attention and to be the center of everything, which was her natural element. Whenever we went out for drinks in LA, she would always find a way to get all eyes on her; either her look, a performance at karaoke, dancing on tables or being loud and flirtatious. She would always find a way to have people's eyes on her. It was a world of a difference to Elowen; gentle and calm. She was pensive and funny, making inspiring observations and when her filter came off she made some pretty sharp comments. 8 out of 10 times I couldn't read what was going on behind those hazel eyes, and I desperately wanted to learn to read her. 

"We all fuck up sometimes," El said sweetly and tried to avoid looking at me. 

"I can't really imagine you fucking up often," I chuckled and held my arm out in front of her to stop her from being hit by a man on a bicycle. "Careful," I leaned down and said. 

She looked up at me and smiled shyly. "Thank you. And of course I do. I fucked up the night I met you..." 

I paused and furrowed my brows at her. "Because of the heels?" 

She laughed and shook her head. "Well those too, but no. Because I let Liv be the center of attention. I shouldn't have let her swoop you off your feet." 

Her admitting that took me by surprise. "She didn't. But you seemed like you thought I was an idiot." I remembered how she had seemed almost angry with me when I tried to help her with her drinks.

"See? Everyone fucks up," she said with a cheeky smile, which made my heart skip a beat. We walked down the street, quite a bit behind the rest of the party and as we passed a small alleyway, I grabbed her hand and pulled her aside, trapping her against the wall. 

"You have to let me get to know you," I said leaving very little space between us. She swallowed hard and wetted her bottom lip, making my eyes fall to her mouth. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I also wanted her to promise me that she would give me a chance to get to know her. I was playing along with her rules and honoring her wish not to say anything to Liv, because I knew the alternative to that was her refusing to have anything to do with me. 

"Let you get to know me how?" She looked nervously at me. 

"Not in a biblical sense, if that's what you're worried about?" I chuckled. "I want to know about your life, about your family, your friends, what you love, what you hate, your favourite band, what you're scared of, what makes you happy... I want to know you."

Her expression softened and she seemed less tense. "Okay." 

"Okay?" I arched an eyebrow at her.

"You can get to know me. I'll tell you what you want to know, and I won't ignore you. But only as long as you don't tell Liv what we did." 

I accepted it for now. If El was the woman, I thought she was, there was no chance I would let Liv stand between the two of us. 

"Promise you won't be a stranger?" I asked and ran my thumb over her cheek. She inhaled sharply and looked at me with big eyes while she nodded. I leaned a little closer to her, definitely not leaving any space for Jesus. Her breathing changed and I couldn't stop myself from lowering my face to place my lips on hers. She kissed me back with an eagerness, like she had been waiting for me to kiss her. I deepened the kiss and let my tongue find hers, drawing a soft moan from her. I smiled against her lips and made sure to dial up the passion, leaving her weak at the knees. "We better catch up with the others," I said as I broke away from her lips and looked at her. She had the most precious love-drunk look on her face, and I wished I could have just continued kissing her indefinitely. I took her hand and she let me hold it until we saw the back of the others. Then she untangled our fingers with an apologetic expression.

I was going to fight for her, I decided. I wanted to get to know Elowen Trelawney and nothing was going to stop me.