If it can't be you

🌌 Dream 12🌌

A/N: Trigger warning-strong language and mention of suicide.
500 Reads! Gosh thank you sooooo much. ❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷

Phuwin.

Damn, that manipulative bitch. I haven't been in Thailand for long but guess what? She decided to travel all the way from the US to Thailand to see her beloved child. All because I said I don't want to go back yet. I don't want to go back at all.

She's now here in my condo, crying her eyes out begging me to return home. God I miss Fourth. I haven't seen my baby for a week now. My phone's broken because this bitch threw it to the wall hard during one of her episodes.

She's now crying saying she'll kill herself if I don't go back. I know I'm evil because I thought that's not a bad Idea, I'll get my inheritance sooner. I didn't say it though.

I've been living, pretending I'm a her best boy for as long as I can remember, all the vices, all the evil things I do, I do secretly, till I flee to my mother land that is. I didn't live with Gem's family and had gotten a place of my own so I can finally do everything that I want without having to hide.

God I miss my pet. I said I'll bring him to the club. I need to taste my prince but what about this bitch. I can off her now so I can see my dear but no, If I go to jail then I won't be able to see my little Fourth more.

No, I'm not obsessed with dear Fourth, I think. But I do need to see him now, I don't even understand anything that's coming out of this bitch's mouth now. All I can think about is Fourth, he must be thinking that I left him. Is he happy I'm gone? No, he can't get used to me being gone. I've made good progress already.

I quickly packed up my essentials, few undies, pants, shirts, toothbrush, condoms, lots of condoms and lube.

"Mom, I got to go, I can't listen to you anymore I feel like I am the one who will kill myself If I listen to you for a minute longer. Don't yell or I'll jump from this floor down, two can play this game."
Phuwin's mom was surprised to say the least. Her baby boy never answered back before, she didn't know how to react.
"I'm staying over at my bo- my friends house, DM me when you fly back to the US." with that I left, I quickly got on my bike with one destination in mind.

As I rang the bell, I feel all jittery then he

opened the door.

He looked terrible, what the hell, he smells like beer and smoke. Fourth was just looking at me and he has that stupid look in his face.

"Did you miss me?" I finally said to pull my Fourth out of his trance.

"Oh, Win. What are you doing here?"
"Seeing you," I answered then let myself in. I don't want to wait for him to deny me entry. Fourth just shrugged and immediately went back to the balcony so I followed him there.

The balony's state was pitiful. There are beer cans everywhere, there's an addition to the furnitures, there's an overflowing ashtray. Fourth lit one cig and looked at nothing in particular. He then took a sip of been, seeing that it's empty opened another can.

"Hey!" I said, Fourth looked up but said nothing.

I went to sit where my baby is, I feel that he's doing his best to play nonchalant but I can feel that he's in the brink of crying.

I'm never afraid of anything but at this moment, for some reason I'm afraid of Fourth.
He doesn't look good, I think he's been drinking everyday, and chain smoking, I did that.

"Baby look at me." Nothing. Okay, I'll play this hard. I can't lose this kid so I will do what my mother thought me best.

"I thought I'll never see you again. My mom, she's here, She wants to take me back." ooh a reaction, Fourth is now looking at me.
"Are you leaving?"my boy said in a whisper.

"I don't want to, I left my place because she's there, she's been crying and begging to take me back, but I don't want to leave."

"ohh."
"I just came here because I wanted to see you, I need to find a place to stay for a bit while my mom is in Thailand. I wanted to see you first because I'm not sure how long I can stand my ground. She is my mother."

"Can't you stay at G- your brother's place?"
"No, she's also Gemini's mother so I cant."

'Right."

I hugged Fourth then kissed his lips, not intruding. He didn't push me away, I still have him! I pulled back.

"Now that I've seen you it feels that my chest is lighter. It's late so I'll go, I can't contact you cause my mom broke my phone, I'll buy a new one tomorrow and message you soon."

"Where will you stay?"
"At a hotel or a BnB."
"You can stay here, for a bit - You don't have to leave." I looked at Fourth's face, he drowned up the beer and took another puff.

I took the cigarette from my boy's hand, took two puffs then squashed it on the overflowing ashtray. I won't acknowledge that he's a mess, but I'll take care of it, he can be a mess, my mess. He's ruined now yes, he's my ruined prince and I'll ruin him some more to the point that all he'll see is me.

I lead him back inside. I didn't answer his invitation, I figured I'll push my luck even more, I want to see my dear's reaction.

I grabbed my bag and head to the door. "I'll see you."

Fourth quickly grabbed my arm.
"Are you not staying?"

"I want to but, In my state and yours its' not safe for me to be here." I said then put my nose in the crook of Fourth's neck and inhaled. Fourth's eyes are widely opened. Oh I wish I have my phone so I can capture this moment in my camera. I continued while smelling him,"I've thought about you alot this past week and your one of the reasons I don't want to leave." I licked his neck and I felt Fourth shiver. I pulled back then removed his hands away from me.
"See it's not safe, for you. so I'll go."

"Just stay."

"Are you sure, I might not be able to stop myself Fourth."

"Stay."

A/N: Whachu guys think? Love it? Hate it? Neutral? Please do let me know.
Love Lots- Winter ❄️🌨️❄️