What if Liv and Elliot had one steamy night together before he left SVU, changing his number and dropping off the face of the earth. Liv has no way to tell him that they have a child together, so she just doesn't.
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"Mama?" Ivy says as she walks into her mother's room, her hand pressed into her side. "Do you have any pads? There aren't any in the bathroom."
"You got your period?" Liv asks, removing her glasses and rummaging through her nightstand. "I have one– I'll go to the store and buy some more, I haven't needed any for a while." Liv says casually, throwing the pad at her daughter and stroking the puppy that is snuggled into her side.
"Thanks mom," Ivy says, disappearing out of the room.
Liv looks at her phone, looking at the 'flo' app. It has been a while since she had her last period. They have always been irregular, but it seems like it has just stopped showing up. She opens up the google app and searches– Early Menopause– makes sense, she thinks.
"Ivy, you need to watch Primrose while I head to the store," Liv calls out as she pulls on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
"Okay," Ivy calls back from the bathroom.
"I'll be back soon," Liv says, grabbing her eyes and wallet and heading out.
***
"Hey, do you have pads here?" Liv asks the owner of the small corner shop down the street from her home. He points her to the back corner, and she smiles, thanking him as she walks over there. She fills her arms with packets of pads. It is unusual that they are out, Liv always stocks up. She must have just forgotten since her period has been awol. As she walks to the end of the aisle, something catches her eye. A small packet with a pregnant woman stares straight back at her.
The cogs start turning in her head as she thinks about the date of her last period, the date that Elliot came back into her life. "Not again," she whispers as she picks up a pack of two tests and heads to the counter.
"Can I have a bag, please?" she asks, and the older man packs everything for her. She taps her card and leaves the store, heading back. Her mind is racing. The dizziness, the irritability, the nausea– it all makes sense.
She tries not to panic as she heads back into the apartment.
"I'll put the pads under the sink," she tells Ivy, who is sitting on the couch with the puppy. She locks herself in the bathroom and pulls down her pants, peeing on a stick. It has been fourteen years since the last time she did this, and she feels an awful sense of deja vu. As she waits for the test to do its thing, she looks at herself in the mirror.
"This is not where you were supposed to be, Benson."
She pulls out her phone and texts Elliot.
I need to talk to you.
***
"You feeling okay?" Liv asks Ivy as she sits next to her on the couch.
"I'm okay, are you okay? I heard you crying earlier..." Ivy says worriedly. "If dad has done something, I've told him - I will kill him."
"Ah, it's okay," Liv says, kissing Ivy's forehead. "I'm going to go and meet him. Will you be okay while I'm gone? I'll literally be gone for like an hour."
"Yeah, I have this beautiful girl to keep me company," Ivy says, cuddling the puppy and smiling at her mom.
"Have fun."
Liv smiles, sliding her sunglasses on her head and walking towards the door. It is spring, the air is warm, and she no longer needs a coat. She has switched it up and is wearing a light, denim jacket.
She wanders down the street, they have agreed to meet at a park. To go for a walk while they talk. It doesn't take Liv long to get there, and she sits on a bench, waiting.
I'm here. Opposite the playground.
Almost there. Elliot replies.
She twiddles her thumbs while she waits, wiping the palm of her hands on her pants. She has never had to do this before. She is unbelievably nervous.
"Liv!" Elliot calls, waving to her as he approaches. She stands, and he immediately embraces her. "You smell nice."
"Thanks," she smiles, "do you want to walk?"
"Sure," he says, his hands in his pockets. "What's going on? We could've done this at my place if Ivy is sick of seeing me." He jokes.
"I wanted to do this on neutral ground," she says, and his smile falters.
"Are you breaking up with me?" He asks, frowning. "Listen, Liv. I know I missed out on a lot, I know I did the worst thing possible and abandoned you. But things are different now, I think we are better for one another now." He says desperately, reaching for her hands.
"Olivia, I love you," he pleads, grabbing her chin so they are looking in one another's eyes. Liv is crying for the second time that day, and she collapses into his arms.
"I'm sorry," she says, sniffling into his chest.
"Liv, you don't have to do this," he begs, and she shakes her head.
"I'm not breaking up with you," she says seriously, and she can see him release the breath he's been holding in.
"Then what the hell is happening right now? You're scaring me."
"Elliot..." she whispers, leading him back to the park bench and sitting down. She takes his hand and squeezes it, looking at the floor.
