Love is half

7

The last bit of sun was flaring on the Western horizon as Jungkook's body moves swiftly on the motioned train, dressed in white sweater and a beige muffler, his jeans feels as if they aren't there from how numb his legs are, New York, winter, they makes a pretty picture but they don't belong together. His head feels heavy from the sound of the restless train, a sound he has almost all of his live but now it makes him feel dizzy, disconnected. Because he is on his way to the address Seokjin hyungs close friend, Kim Namjoon has gave him.

Neatly written on a piece of paper because Jungkook is paranoid he would lose his phone again and won't be able to find it, then he won't reach to Taehyung's condo..

The train is crammed full of busy people, people who actually have important destinations to reach to other than being a piece of shit and overthink about their ex boyfriend. Jungkook thinks he is waste of space as he is sitting here, there are so many people standing and of course, New York train is never empty even if it's raining, storming and sunless. If he tries to stand up now, his face might bump onto  back of this middle aged men who looks annoyed as ever after the phone call he was having on his way to the train, and last trouble he wants in his life right now having a beef with some angry guy.

It took him four days, three hours, ten minutes and sixty second to decide wither he wants to go to Taehyung's condo or not. The older has been out of his sight for two weeks, Jungkook wonders if it is because of their last conversation before his disappearance. His brain thinks the conversation they had, Taehyung deserved his words.

But then again, his stomach squeezes and very tiny drop of uncomfortableness spreads through his body and reaches to his neck, which is now heated and warm, the muffler feels itchy around his neck.

 
Maybe Taehyung had gotten tired of his promise, maybe he has forgotten about Jungkook , so many ifs and maybe swims through his mind but he convinces himself he is going to check up on him, just know if he is alive or dead. That's all. It's not like he cares of any of it matters. Soon both of them will go on their ways, maybe this is the last time he would say goodbye to Taehyung if the older decides it's time to cut off whatever he was starting, an end. Another end.

His eyes lands on the display and the train has arrived the Brooklyn. The distance isn't that much but Jungkook would rather use the train than painful traffic and winter fogs covering his car which he has abandoned for almost two years, and if someone decides to steal it, he won't be too affected. He gets out of the subway, buys himself a medium sized cappuccino just to comfort his throat.

Namjoon did mention that Taehyung owns a private condo and Jungkook wonders if Taehyung will be shirtless, sweaty and messy haired when he opens the door, what if  a girl waiting for Taehyung to return to their bedroom, what if Jungkook is making a mistake by going out of his way to check on someone who he doesn't give shit about. He doesn't know. He doesn't know if Taehyung is alive, doesn't know if he is fucking some pretty girl on his bed with no thoughts of the world.

Namjoon also mentioned he hasn't been attending his work for two weeks.

Moment passes and Jungkook is here. Eyes wide and staring up at the glassed buildings. The walls are richly decorated with Italian architect and the colors are beige, it looks like somewhere Taehyung belongs. But he gets a deja vu. As if he has been here, as if the same exact reason he was following before.

Looking for Taehyung after he ignores Jungkook for weeks, weeks turn into months, and then Jungkook was in front of an unknown door of some club, and his life twisted when it opened, loud moans of a girl, gasps and groans of a voice, deep and velvet that he has heard too many times. It feels like all over. If he thinks hard enough, he can remember every way Taehyung moaned.