Love is half

45

"is everything okay between you two?"

The question catches Jungkook offguard, he sits across the table, opposite of her, Taehyung's mom who is sitting, sinking in the table but supported by her crutches on left arm.

Its been a week, Taehyung has been acting a little better than before, he would snap at Jungkook time to time, but not above any of that. But the question still burns in the pit of Jungkook's stomach, he hesitantly continues to slice the potatoes, the mush sticking to his fingers and the peeler.

She is staring at him, Jungkook couldn't bring himself to look up.

"Of course." He smiles, "he is just little closed off, and we argue sometimes, that is all." He grabs the napkin to dab on the corner of his finger, the peeler has sliced first layer of his skin by accident, it doesn't hurt. "He is ..I guess needs time."

Mrs Kim fidgets with the spoon, the soup Jungkook made her has been there for a while, the liquid looks cold and Jungkook wonders if he should heat it up again or make her something different, "I don't know..." She sighs, her face holds unreadable expression.

The smile feels like a rock on his face, numbness and he wonders how he looks right now,

"What do you mean?"

"I think I lost him." She whispers, Jungkook has a moment to stop the tissue over the cut on his finger and flinches the way her voice breaks, "I..I know you notice it too. He wasn't like this at all. But-after they got married, he just..turned to someone, I don't recognize my own son anymore."

His ears burns with guilty. He is too aware of exactly what she is implying and it stings. For past few months he has been ignoring the subject, he has been pretending nothing is wrong and he would just have to go along until everything is over. But her words shook every emotion that cursed through his body amplified, pounding through veins and increasing his heart rate. He doesn't know now how he is supposed to manage all of these conflicting feelings. Love, betray, trust, hurt-

Jungkook is an emotional wreck, a tickling time bomb. It hasn't been a year with Taehyung yet he has experience so much trauma, stories and fear over an incredibly short period- it actually surprises him how a change can appear over the night and what a heart is capable of doing while it decides to chase after, what it can't do?

But he is scared to face it. The fact is undeniable. He is just a fucking coward to accept that everything is messed up and not right, nothing is. He is scared to allow himself to be overwhelmed by changes again. And it is scary, because he is not ready. He was never ready.

Nobody is ready when they jumps into an undiscovered ocean.

He looks at the blood seeping through his skin, just under skin of  his nails and feels nauseous.

"He has changed, yes." Jungkook gives her a wobbly nod. Because when he tries to find words, no excuse swims around his tongue, rather all he finds is slurry response and silence. "everyone changes, I guess that is how it works."

"and...are you happy with him?"

At that jungkooks chest is strangely hollowed. It takes him a long moment to come back to himself, no thoughts appears in his voice, the replies chases away to thin air and nothing is here anymore for him to reply. He doesn't quite trust himself to speak, so he seals his lips shut and tugs it upwards until he can feel every pull of his lips turning upwards, it doesn't feel like a smile to his face, it feels like someone tugging them upwards with stitch. He could not breath, but he doesn't struggle and he thinks she might speak again. But she does not. Only nods and then sighs.