Love is half

43

That was a bottle of morphine.

The god of sleep, Morpheus.

The drug itself named after the Greek God itself, Morphine provides a feeling of euphoria often described as a dreamlike state. He takes another step back, what must Taehyung going through to go this far to include this in his life, Jungkook has been surprised all of his life, but he wants to run away and start over. Wipe the past clean, begin all over again on a blank canvas.

But whenever he imagines braiding his life, piece it back together and tangle them with the person he wants in it to be, he could only think of the person, the one fucking person.

And when the one person you have imagined, has created a version of them in your head- is real, and is in front of you, they aren't who you have imagined it to be and Jungkook doesn't feel the disappointment he should be feeling when he has realized Taehyung is far from perfection.

He realizes the feelings aren't close to death, unfortunately it is how surviving feels that makes him appreciate death.

Because the Taehyung in his head, that lives very protected corner of his mind, if Jungkook closes his eyes and think about him. He hasn't forgotten how it felt. He remembers the trace of his finger tips over the tired shoulders of his and his spine arch, the thoughts that lingered in his mind on that beautiful smile, and if he takes a deep breath enough, he can almost feel those memories of salt in the air, the beach waves and the sand on Taehyungs skin -slowly fading away and its like,

Taehyung is nowhere to be seen, the love he knew, the Taehyung- but at the same time the older is right in front of him, and there is this sinking feeling that is getting worse in Jungkooks chest and he knows he is not going to be okay for very long time,

And Jungkook doesn't want the memories to let go, the face he once cradled between his hands, now a blur, because the honey in his eyes are no longer present, its like the summer has permanently ended and sun no longer rises, and he can feel the deep voice calling him so lovely, Jungkookie'- slowly is drifting from his memories, like a fading polaroid. But the feelings.

The fucking feelings

Its like when he thinks how Taehyung made him feel, its like past, present and future all exist at one time. And the way he has felt- the way he used to by the same person- now turning into the bittersweet ache between wanting and having- and letting go.

And Jungkook starts to wonder if the Taehyung he knew was just an imagination, maybe that's why he was so surreal, maybe such thing as him never existed and- and Jungkook someone was lucky enough to have that brief dream that worth a million hearts and blood and himself-- and-it must've been in his head because a very real Taehyung is sitting right in front of him. The reality is no longer near dream. Taehyung is still the prettiest-the most surreal man he has laid his eyes on, but his words aren't very pretty.

And its a very real Taehyung is sitting on the floor, and Jungkook could only gap at the cold shock of his words, dark brown eyes and features carved with hurt. It struck from him a sudden, springing fear from the words he hears

"let me fuck you." Taehyung lifts his heave lidded eyes, mouth agape.