Love is half

27

Jungkook somehow managed to get few hours of sleep, it was nothing blissful or dreamy that he fortunately had not expected anyway, but he is unfamiliar with sleeping with another body next to him.

His eyes are achy from having them open almost whole night,

not a bit of sleep decided to arrive and he didn't try hard enough to sleep anyway. It was like he was on a train, whenever he closed his eyes, his thoughts came crashing towards him and making him feel wobbly.

So when he turned around after getting two hours of sleep, he was surprised.

The way Taehyung slept showed no trace of his younger self. The boy used to nearly cling onto anything near his reach, body pillow, duvet- Jungkook. It was his habit, at least that's what Jungkook was aware of. But Taehyung's body is curled like flower, arms around himself as if he has been trying to protect his sleeping form from anything near him and the tug is back in Jungkook's chest. After watching the odd reaction from the older last night, Jungkook was thinking.  And that's how his sleep was gone.

Jungkook isn't unfamiliar with knowing whatever Taehyung has experienced after their breakup, are not as bright as he imagined it to be. But he is not familiar the things Taehyung has been through. Something tells him it was a tragic suffering no one knows about, or it could be just him overthinking the olders situation. But it is weird, so weird because the moment Taehyung and Moly met, Jungkook became nonexistence from the olders life as if he was never there to begin with, as if he wasn't Taehyung's first love, his first ever everything and the boy he loved from middle school to kissing under the bedsheets.

No more hiding under the cherry blossom and watching city lights from mountain, no longer picking flowers and making crowns for each other, no longer the olders eyes lingering over his body as he painted Jungkook in most vulnerable and exposed form, as if everything they shared together never existed and it was all Jungkooks imagination.

Jungkook wonders if the change of Taehyung's behavior is because of the child, and losing his wife or his mom being sick, and Jungkook wonders if there is a lot he doesn't know of. But it's so fucking hard because he doesn't want to nose in his life, it's none of his business when he wasn't included in any way, but whenever he asks, Taehyung answers as his words are some kind of puzzle that Jungkook is supposed to figure out.

Jungkook knows Taehyung has experienced something, a tragic suffering or something he doesn't feel comfortable talking about. It is easy enough to assume Taehyung locked up the younger charming boy he used to be, all so that vulnerable part of him doesn't get hurt as well.

But yesterday was different, Jungkook saw it. Saw something he never imagined he would see it again in his life but not in his memories and imaginations. He saw glimpse of that person- that version of Taehyung- during the ice skating when the Taehyung fell and looked at Jungkook and just watched him, didn't mind and didn't think of being embarrassed. No longer was Taehyung smiling with half curve and not reaching his eyes, no, he smiled so easily, embarrassed himself more so Jungkook would laugh. That moment, it's like he seemed to forget the depth of his untold sorrows, and for fleeting moment, Taehyung looked genuinely happy, and free.

and while Jungkook doesn't want to admit it, he wasn't feeling nice when Taehyung seemed hurt, lost and down, like it's something that should not exist. He knows he should stop thinking too much about it because it wouldn't end with love and brightness, but the bond they created, it's new and

Jungkook found something different within Taehyung. It's not the same Taehyung he used to know but it's a version of him, the older one that is luring Jungkook to explore more, get to know him more than just thinking of him as his ex boyfriend, who cheated.

And He was not ready, in fact, he is fucking scared of whatever connection they are forming together.

But something about Taehyung, maybe his untold stories or the gentle smile, or maybe his curled up sleeping form- it makes Jungkook want to care for him. And after Taehyung has opened up to him, so painfully so. it was silly and naïve, sure Jungkook being fucking stupid but he wants to know him more, be by his side in whatever capacity was allowed.

And when Taehyung scrunches up his face from the sunlight falling over his God like features, when he groans and turns to Jungkook's side, opens his eyes just so little that Jungkook wonders if he can read his mind, there's a little drool clinging on corner of his lips that Jungkook should be disgusted by but,

"Go back to sleep, it's too early." Jungkook mumbles softly, not moving closer or anything, just staring at Taehyung as if he is an open book but Jungkook is trying too hard to read, but he has forgotten reading. Again, he doesn't think much when he should, so he reaches out his hand to wipe the drool off with his thumb from the corner of the olders lips
_____________________♡__________________