CHAPTER LII: Deja Vu (Castiel)

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CASTIEL

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CASTIEL

I HAD lost my reason for fighting. Without Cassidy, I was akin to a ship adrift in the vast cerulean seas. The spark of hope she ignited within me had dimmed. There was no longer anything worth fighting for.

Yes, I could continue my pursuit of justice. But would it bring her back to life? Would I see her bright smile again? Would I hear her call me "Kuya Cas" again? Kung oo, gagawin ko ang lahat para mapanagot ang taong dahilan kaya siya nalagay sa gano'ng sitwasyon. Kahit isakripisyo ko pa ang kaliwang binti o braso ko, gagawin ko.

But no. No matter what I did, it would not change a single damn thing. Maybe seeing Alaric the Prick pay for his crime could provide some semblance of comfort and justice. But it would be fleeting. The victorious feeling would ebb away, leaving me with nothing but pain.

Right after my sister's burial, I retreated to our house and stayed there for several days. Hindi ko kakayaning haraping mag-isa itong dinaramdam ko. I had tried to do so at the apartment right after the failed assassination attempt on Priam. If it weren't for Fabienne, my neighbors might have sensed something was amiss and discovered me dead.

Maybe I should have remained there, letting myself wither in the darkness. Then I would not have had to confront this heart-wrenching reality—the death of my sister. Ignorance truly is bliss. But here I was. Broken. Shattered.

For the following days, I left my phone untouched on my bedside table. Ilang beses din 'yong nag-beep at nag-ring. Sinadya kong huwag sagutin ang mga tawag. I was not in the mood to engage with anyone or anything. Ilang meals na rin ang ini-skip ko dahil hindi ako nakaramdam ng gutom. It felt like déjà vu, repeating the same numbness that had gripped me weeks ago.

My phone must have buzzed incessantly because it eventually fell from the table. I lazily picked it up and faced the screen. More than thirty unread messages and over ten missed calls, most likely attempts to lift me from this melancholy. Sadly, none of their words could ease my pain. If only they knew a magic spell to resurrect the dead or rewind time, I would have welcomed their intervention immediately.

Who knows? I checked my inbox, half-hoping for such a message. My thumb scrolled through the messages, searching in vain.

USC – Tabitha Rustan
Hey, Cas. Since you've been unresponsive, I'm gonna reinstate the three USC officers na, ha? Can't do it alone with just the three juniors here especially if you're gonna be absent for a while.

USC - Val Encarnacion
Good morning, Cas. I heard from Tabby you didn't come by the USC office today. Also heard you reinstated Lav, Sab and Rowan. Take as much break as you need for now. Huwag mong piliting pumasok, okay? Leave everything to them muna. Take care always.

Fab Lucero
How are you, Cas? I know you're still going through a lot right now. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm just here, okay?

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