I miss you, I'm sorry

Part 6

"You're disgusting do you know that? Crying over a boy. There is something seriously wrong with you, and I blame your father," the woman screams down the phone. The boy sat curled in his fathers arms, tears flowing down his face at the heartbreak he'd experienced. He'd called his mum for support, but instead she had flipped it on him, just like everyone else.

"I- No- It's not like that mum," he tries to explain, but it was no use.

"Shut up Nikolas. I'm coming to get your stuff tomorrow. You're going to live with your grandparents from now on. No ifs or buts. Maybe they can raise you to be a man. You're a disappointment Nikolas, I knew I made the right choice leaving."

"No, please. I can't- I can't leave." Niko pleads, but he knew his mothers word was final.

"You said that last time and look what happened. My only son, a fag----. From now on, you'll be raised the way I want you to."

Niko ended the phone, before turning to sob in his fathers chest. His mother had left years ago, not wanting a son to begin with, but after 3 daughters, and Niko was old enough to take care  of himself, she suddenly wanted him back in her life. Theyd speak every so often on the phone, but it was never genuine conversation, simple acquaintance questions, nothing too personal. It had been Niko and his dad from Day 1, and he can honestly say the man was his best friend. He'd been supportive of Niko through everything from day dot, and that wasn't changing now.

"Shhh, its ok Nik. Look at me," The man pulls Niko to stare into his eyes, "I will do anything to get you back, I'll go to court, I'll try. But until then, you must go. I'll talk to you everyday son. No matter what they try, you don't listen to what they say. Trust me everything will work out in the end."

And just like that Niko was gone, far away from his father, and far from the boy he loved.

Niko lay on his bed, staring into the ceiling ad he zoned back in, realising he still needed to send James the video for him to edit. He sighs at the memory, a tear flowing down his cheek. He'd tried everything to block it out, but somehow it kept coming back to him. It haunted his every thought, and interaction, unable to live peacefully. He thinks back to the boy from his memory, the picture so fresh, yet so broken, because the boy in his head was no longer his, no longer the boy he was, and maybe it was his fault. It enraged him to be so out of control, the one thing in his life crumbled piece by piece, each time getting fainter and further away.

The boy had no clue of his actions, and the way they affected Niko. The way everything he did sparked hatred; and simultaneously put out the fire day by day. Niko wanted to go back to being 16 and clueless. 16 and helplessly in love. It was hard to put it in the past, when  the fire kept getting re-ignited, each spark setting off his heart once again.

He wanted everything to go back to the way it was, before it all changed, before it was all messed up.

...

"I just cant do it anymore Sharks!" Aj yells, quite enough to not be heard from outside his room, but definitely loud. "I've tried to be civil, but he makes it so hard to not hate him. After everything hes done and he still blames me! Every little thing I do he picks an argument and I'm done! He was never like this you know, he used to be so sweet and calm, still energetic but never like how he is now"

"What do you mean, 'before'? For as long as Ive known you, you hated each other," Sharky replies, he definitely knew something was up between the pair, in terms of their secret history, but neither would expose that part of the past, both choosing to block out the fact it happened, and only focusing on the emotion derived from it.

"I- no I mean for uh- before it got this bad." Aj tries to cover, but clearly fails. No one could know about his past, he himself had burried it down so deep so no one could expose his crimes, the heartbreak, and loss he'd worked so hard to get over still knocking at him day by day. He wanted nothing more than to move on, but hey, like they say, if you truly love someone you never stop loving them, you just learn to ignore it. Aj hadnt.

Sharky sits beside Aj on the bed, rubbing his back, "Aje you know you can tell me anything right? I would never judge you for anything. Even if you cant tell me tell Amin or Kenny, anyone to put your mind at ease. I love you so much Aj, and I dont want to see you loose yourself over something that can be resolved,"

Aj chuckles at Sharkys claim, "Its not that I dont trust you Sharks, I do. But this isnt something I can fix. A big part of it cant be changed,"

"what cant be changed Aj?"

"thats not important. Whats important is that I cant change, so I need to ignore it, push it away and just live my life pretending its not there. I've tried, my parents tried, nothing works. And if even my own family dont want me, how can I be sure others do too?"

"Aj, you are perfect the way you are, you dont need to change, not for anyone. We all love you as you are, youre our family too, and nothing can ever change that."

Aj smiles at Sharky, maybe he could expose some of his past, not too much though, he cant have the one person left in his life abandon him too. "I- lets just say once upon a time, I loved someone. I loved them so much, and I honestly would've died for them. Then they left. Just like everyone else, and soon enough my family went with them. I was alone Sharks, then I met Amin and you and Kenny, and everything was complete again, well as much as it could be. Maybe I should move on, I dont know but I cant stop. I need to speak to them, but I know they wouldny speak to me, never."

Sharky listens to Aj's story, nodding along as he speaks. Sharkt knew there was something deeper than what Aj was letting on, something that would give the answer to all their questions. However, he decides not to question Aj too much about it just yet, grateful he'd even opened up to him this much in the first place.
Aj was never one to really express his feelings, anger and annoyance maybe, but true heartfelt feelings were something he kept to himself, all stored away in a little box in his head, away from the outside world.
"Aje, I'm so sorry that happened and Im sorry you feel that way. Who ever that person was doesnt deserve you, and I promise I will never leave you. Ever. Kill a man infront of me and Ill defend your name in court. I swear Aj, I will be here always."

Aj sniffs looking up at Sharky, "Thanks Sharks. I appreciate it, I really do. Now lets change the subject, I dont wanna get too soppy right now," Aj giggles, talking to Sharky about some random bits here and there. Aj loved Sharky, that was something he was sure of, he could never hate him. So pure and genuine, totally deserving of anything life gifted him.

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1316 Words
Little time skip in next chapter, just to get things going.
Im still so sick help its been like 2 weeks
anyways, Love uousee