I miss you, I'm sorry

Part 16

Aj wakes up the next morning and his head is pounding. He is unsure of what time he went to bed last night, but can vaguely remember some sort of light through the window so it was definitely before 8. He checks his phone and the time is 10:30. He had slept for over 12 hours  straight. He puts his phone back on the desk before looking down and realising he's not wearing any clothes. Fuck. He looks over to Niko who is still soundly sleeping, and he realises he too is Naked. He shifts his leg slightly and feels a sharp pain up his back. 

The memory finally makes itself known in Aj's head as he gasps out in shock and anger. He had slept with Niko, again. After he promised himself, and Sharky, that he wouldn't. But how could this of happened? The events of the day before start to slowly flow his mind, one minute hes laying on the bed, the next he's grinding down on Nikos lap, begging for him to fuck him. 

Aj curls into a ball in fear. Did he force Niko to sleep with him? But why would he do that. Aj starts to rock back and forth, breathing getting heavier as unwanted tears filled his eyes. He forced Niko to have sex with him... He forced someone into sex who didn't want to do it.

"Fuck, Fuck. Im sorry, fuck," Aj whispers into the air, too panicked to realise Niko stirring awake beside him. 

Niko rubs his eyes, his body used to the after effects of a high, and wants to complain about Aj moving around so much when he looks up to see the boy wrapped around himself crying, mumbling out 'fuck' over and over again. 

Niko immeditely shoots up, covering his lower half with the blanket, and stares at Aj. 

"Aj. Aj. Are you okay?" 

Aj turns to look at Niko, when he sees him his words change to 'sorry', his breathing increasing impossibly more. 

"Aj. Its okay, wha-whats wrong," Niko says, reaching out and grabbing his face. 

"I- I - I'm sorry," Aj cries out.

"Breathe, Aj, breathe. Come on, take a breath in... and out... there you go," Niko comforts as Aj begins mimicking his actions. 

After a while of breathing techniques, Aj's mind begins to finally re-surface, his breaths flow out easily, but its clear he's still shaken up. 

"I'm sorry," Aj mumbles, unable to make eye contact with Niko.

"Aj, stop saying your sorry, I don't even know what you're sorry for." 

"I- I forced you to uhm, have sex with me last night," Aj whispers, blushing as the memories punch him right in the face. The way he submitted so easily to Niko, letting him do what he wanted, after he basically forced him to do stuff. 

"No you didn't."

"I-I did!" AJ replies, "You - I don't even know, fuck my head hurts, you were doing your work and I climbed onto your lap, and forced you to do stuff."

Just what Niko feared and kinda hoped for. Aj could barely remember what happened yesterday, and the only thing he does is him jumping onto Nikos lap. He didn't want the boy to think this way about himself, only for the reason that there are so many bad people in the world who would do that to someone, and Aj doesn't even compare to those. Yes Aj had done a terrible thing all those years ago, but that was no where near the level of bad person as those other disgusting people.

"Aj, yes you climbed onto my lap, but I gave in. I was the one to fuck you, okay." Niko didn't want to seem too nice, so decides to add in, "Plus, what did you expect, we're in this room trapped together for 10 days, something was bound to happen."

"So-So I didn't force you?" AJ muffles almost cutely. 

"No you didn't." You could never force me AJ - Niko thinks.

"Oh, Okay." AJ smiles weakly, as Niko gives him a smile back.

As Niko gets up to go to the bathroom, Aj tries his best not to watch his body as he moves around the room. AJ hated Niko yes, but he can appreciate a good body when he sees one right?

The second the bathroom door closes, AJ picks up his phone and calls Sharky. Sharky picks up on the third call, mumbling into the phone, "Mhm, whats up."

"Did you just wake up? Whatever, Are you alone?" Aj rushes out, biting at his finger nails. 

"Yeah, I did. Give me a sec," 

Aj hears the phone jostling around as Sharky walks out of Kennys room and into his own. 

"Im alone, whats so serious you need to call me at a fuck-all time of the morning."

"Firstly its 11, you lazy bitch, Secondly, Uhm- I kinda did something, that I probably shouldn't have done."

"Aj don't tell me you..." 

"Yeah-" Aj whispers out shamefully.

"Aje I thought you said you weren't gonna do that anymore. You keep hurting yourself over and over again." Sharky says sadly.

"I didn't mean too!" Aj whines, "I- it's so weird, like One minute I was fine, the next my mind is fuzzy and I can't think straight.... Oh My God, I think I literally shouted to him I was horny..." 

"WHAT?"

"Yeah! I - Its all a blur, things keep coming in small bits to me I don't - ugh, That's what's so weird, like I can't remember a thing, yet I can remember everything at the same time."

"Okay, uhm, well, Okay... Well, from one side I wanna say if you wanna keep fucking him do it, you're only hurting yourself by saying you won't then giving in when he asks. From the other, I want to tell you not to do this. Aj I know it may seem far-fetched, but you may end up falling for him, and well, he's made it clear you two don't like each other, so that would make this whole thing that much worse."

"I- just, I don't know what to do anymore Sharks. I- I know it sounds bad, But I feel like I can't resist. And I can't fall for him again, I've barely recovered from last time, I'll be honest It still hurts sometimes, knowing what we were and what we could've been. Its too much. My head fucking hurts,"

"Did Niko drug you or something," Sharky laughs jokingly, "First you can't remember and now your head hurts."

Aj laughs, "HaHa very Funny Sharks. Where would he even get the stuff to do that."

"Fairs-"

AJ and Sharky continue talking for a while, waiting for Niko to exit the bathroom so he can shower. When Niko finally walks out fully dressed, Aj realises he's still naked. He tries to cover himself up with the blanket, attempting to figure out a plan to get to the bathroom. 

"I- Look away, I need to shower."

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Niko winks, yet still turning around.

AJ scurries to the bathroom, quickly washing his body thinking about what Sharky and Niko had said.

Aj knew Sharky was right, that he would only hurt himself by sleeping with Niko again and again. But on the other hand, Niko had said they were stuck in this room alone, and even when they get out its not like they could go find anybody. It was a lockdown, and Aj couldn't even be with a man due to the public. I mean, he could sleep with Niko from time to time, no feelings attached right? But what if he falls for him again. Aj knows he could never do that, he couldn't allow himself to fall for such a bad person, someone who could hurt him in every physical way possible. 

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1288 words.

Short chaptter cause im tired i might update again today tho :)