Only chaos remains

Chapter 11

I rested my head against the cold window of the police car, watching in silence the cityscape passing in front of my eyes. It was still dark outside but the first morning people started to wake up and I could see lights piercing through the building's windows. Some of them already walked in the streets, heading to the subway. They were clenching their coats around their body, trying to fight against the gloomy weather. 

I was replaying the scene of Jake's arrest in my head again and again. Was it really over? Was it real? I had just met him, and he was leaving me again. The worst thing was that I knew he wouldn't come back. 

I raised my hand, took the soft fabric of Jake's t-shirt and lifted it up to my nose. I closed my eyes while inhaling his scent. I hugged myself tighter thinking that, if I focused as hard as I could on his smell, I could live the memory of our brief moments together again. I remembered everything, his burning touch on my skin, his hot breath tickling my neck, his deep voice enchanting me, his gray-blue eyes making me shiver each time he looked at me and his reassuring warm embrace. 

I fell in love with him without meeting him and his texts only would be enough for me if that meant he was safe. The sting of guilt in my chest was even more present than usual. I couldn't help but think I was partly responsible for Jake's arrest. If I didn't look for him in the first place he would have time to run away sooner. It was because of my selfishness he got caught. 

I opened my eyes, Alan was glancing at me in the rearview mirror with a worried look on his face. I decided to ignore him and focused on the scenery behind the window. We had left Colville and were now driving in the countryside. The sun started to rise and I could see the shy ray of light struggling to pierce the thick cloud layer. The gloomy light gave a weird vibe to the landscape. Everything was green and gray, but soon we approached Duskwood's forest and the dark shadows of the trees engulfed us. 

I detached my gaze from the window. Seeing all those trees gave me the creeps. It felt like the Man Without a Face was about to appear any time between the tree trunks. I knew it wasn't possible. But still, my body stiffened instinctively as if a great danger was approaching. 

I turned myself toward Alan and raised my gaze up at the rearview mirror, trying to catch his eyes. "How did they find him?" I spoke in such a cold, raspy tone because of the lump in my throat and my dry mouth that I hardly recognized my voice. 

The man didn't remove his gaze from the road while answering, "FBI received a phone call indicating where he was, and with who."

What?! I couldn't believe this. Someone betrayed Jake? Who could it be? Soon, some names came to my mind as Phil or Dan. But I chased these thoughts from my mind, my friends wouldn't do that to me. Plus, how could they know where we were? I let out a deep sigh and put my head on my hands. "Who called them?" my voice was muffled because of my hands in front of my mouth. 

"An anonymous source," Alan simply replied. But I was sure he knew more. I wanted to ask more about it but I didn't notice we were already in Duskwood until Alan turned into a small street. He parked in a small car park behind a building and I soon recognized it was the police station. 

Alan opened the door and I had to wait until he came to the side of the car where I was sitting before I could get out of it. He gave me a sympathetic look, put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me softly toward the backdoor. 

The place was quite empty as it was still early in the morning. Of course, the night staff was there, but they were about to leave and their colleagues hadn't arrived yet. I walked in front of Alan, who was guiding me thanks to his hand on my shoulder. 

He made me stop in front of a door and opened it. The inside of the room was equipped with two metallic chairs and a table. There was nothing on the wall except a huge one-way mirror on my left. I slowly approached one of the chairs and sat on it. Alan left the room, avoiding my gaze, this time he hadn't asked me if I wanted a coffee.