Only chaos remains

Chapter 18

When I got out of Matt's apartment it was already dark outside. The fresh breeze hit my face, cooling my skin and I had to narrow my eyes to protect them from the bite of the cold.

I walked in the streets like in a dream, lightheaded, my moves were mechanical and my mind was empty. Empty from the worry, the fear and the pain. The storm that was usually raging in my mind seemed to be tamed by the endorphins generated by my brain cells, locked in its cage in the deepest corner of my head, I hoped, for a long time.

My lungs filled with the cool air and I felt my chest moving up and down with every breath I took. Now that my brain allowed me to rest, I felt alive for the first time in two years. I felt real.

My steps echoed against the pavement, following the rhythm of music that could be heard from a bar a little further ahead of me. I smiled. The whole city seemed happy, like it was celebrating Jake's freedom.

As I approached the bar, I spotted a small group of people laughing. They reminded me of us, the group and I. Despite everything we've been through, we always managed to make each other laugh. A coping mechanism to keep our sanity.

I smiled when I walked past the group, happy that I could tell I had the same bond with the wonderful people that became my family.

When I arrived home, Jessy and Colin were sitting on the couch as if they were waiting for me.

Jessy was restless, slightly jumping on her seat and when she saw me she stood up with her arms open for me and ran toward me, screaming with happiness.

"You did it! He's free, you did it!" she laughed, "oh MC, I'm so proud of you!"

I laughed with her letting the exhilaration of the moment take control of myself. My muscles felt numb and my legs were shaky as I started to relax and let out all the stress that was part of me for so long.

"We did it, Jessy," my smile was so bright that my cheeks hurt, "Jake is free."

"You must be so happy! And Lilly? How did she react? I haven't talked to her yet,"

I shook my head, "she was pretty overwhelmed," I started remembering Lilly crying on the phone. "She has both Hannah and Jake back now," I smiled.

"So what about a drink to celebrate the good news?" We both turned our heads when we heard Colin's voice. He had put three glasses on the coffee table and had a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"Aww, good idea honey!" Jessy clapped her hands happily and walked to her fiancé before giving him a quick kiss on the corner of his lips.

Colin grinned at her and wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her deeply.

I felt a little like an outsider. A lot of things had changed when I was gone. They had already built their own safe place in this apartment, and it was clear that even if they would always welcome me, I no longer had my place here. But I was truly happy for my friends, and Jessy deserved to be loved.

So it was for the best that I chose to move. As soon as I would find a new job, I would leave this place.

I sat on an armchair across the coffee table so I would face my two friends. Colin was pouring the glasses with the brown beverage and once he was done, we raised our glasses and clicked them together.

I smelled the liquid, the strong scent made me wince a bit. I liked drinking whiskey from time to time but I hadn't drunk alcohol for several months and I didn't want to feel dizzy.

I leaned my back against my seat and crossed my legs under myself. I slowly took a sip of the beverage, letting the burning sensation invade my mouth, enjoying the taste of the whiskey.