You are Everything that I've Been Searching for ~ a Zukka Fanfic

Chapter Twelve, Zuko's Story

Chapter Twelve, Zuko's Story

Zuko had been thirteen when it happened, two years after his mother had left. He had been struggling with a lot of things at the time, the amount of pressure on his shoulders was immeasurable. His father expected such much of him and drilled him endlessly about his role as future Firelord. On top of all that, at the time Zuko had been struggling with his sexuality.

He tried to hide it by going out with one of his sister's friends, a girl called Mai. He knew she had a crush on him and he liked Mai as much as he could, it just wasn't enough. He dated her for a while but the closer he got with her the more he felt he was betraying her. Eventually, in a moment of vulnerability and weakness, Zuko confessed to her how he felt and what was going on. She was a little upset at first, she didn't talk to him for a week. All the while Zuko was terrified that she would tell his sister or worse, tell his dad.

But eventually, she got back to him and told him that she had fallen in love with him but she would get over it... with time. She suggested they keep up the fake dating charade to keep Zuko's family off his back. They actually became closer friends because of it.

And then one day, his sister overheard, or maybe eavesdropping was a better word, Zuko and Mai talking and outed Zuko to their father. His dad was furious and he disowned and banished Zuko from ever stepping foot in the firenation again, but not before burning and disfiguring Zuko's face with fire and forcibly shaving his head. It was supposed to "teach him a lesson", he was supposed to remember that pain and embarrassment any time he thought shameful thoughts about another man.

Kicked out of his home, severely burnt, mutilated and upset, Zuko didn't know what to do or where to go. He managed to get a message to his Uncle Iroh who immediately came to get him. Zuko moved in with him and lived in Ba Sing Se from that moment on. That is until about a year and a half ago when he got accepted on a scholarship into Sho-Ha University and moved to the uni's dorms.

Zuko didn't go into too much detail but he also mentioned how he had also met Jet a couple of months after starting at Sho Ha Uni. They had a whirlwind romance that even some of the most toxic lovers of history would be envious of. Jet had been intriguing, mysterious and exciting. But he could also be sensitive and romantic. Zuko fell for Jet fast and hard, he described it to Sokka as similar to that of Lucifer's fall from Heaven from Paradise Lost.

They had dated for nearly a year with various breakups and makeups, until Zuko finally severed things for good seven months ago. Zuko left out his final interaction with Jet. He didn't want to talk about that tonight, especially since he just told so much, he didn't want to overshare. When Zuko finished talking he looked at Sokka, Sokka was nodding thoughtfully.

"That sounds rough, Buddy. I'm sorry that happened to you," Sokka said. "No one should ever have to go through that."

"Yeah... But I did go through it. And I managed to get out... and I'm doing okay... all things considered," Zuko said.

"How did you move on from all that?" Sokka asked.

"Well... I don't know if I have... I don't know if I ever will... I was really really upset for a long time, and then that turned into me being really angry and volatile all the time. I still have trouble trying to control my anger... but um, slowly I got better... And I'm proud of that," Zuko said.

He glanced up at the moon, she was smiling brightly upon the beach now having broken through the dark clouds.

"To be fair, I think my uncle is the main reason why I got better," Zuko said.

"Yeah?" Sokka prompted.

"Yeah. Back when my uncle had taken me in and I was living in Ba Sing Se, whenever I got really angry and emotional my uncle would help me, he once told me something I will never forget.... He told me just to take each day as it comes, and if that doesn't go well then I can always start again the next day. He tells me lots of wise things but those words in particular really stuck out to me you know?" Zuko said.