Yours Is The Only Ocean

Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Two

Alex was shaking like a leaf. Since his father and brother died, and he'd become head of the family, he'd had so many decisions to make and still they went on; but he had managed to cope with the responsibility. It had felt quite nice to do things his way without the disapproval of Abraham, Raine or Percy. But the one thing in life he hated the most was hurting people's feelings. To tell Eliza he didn't want to be a proper husband to her seemed such a cruel and heartless thing to do.

Miles sat on the settee in the lodge, filling out some paperwork for the insurance on Windwards, while Alex paced around, mentally rehearsing what he was going to say.

"Sit down," Miles said. "You're making me dizzy."

"I can't settle until it's done. You want us to tell her the truth. What if she gets so angry she tells her father? He'll report us to the Magistrate and we'll be executed. Or worse, locked up in asylums. Separate ones and we'll never see each other again. I'd rather be dead."

With a sigh, Miles put down his papers and got up. He came to Alex and put his hands upon his shoulders, looking him in the eye, something which immediately calmed Alex down.

"Stop it, Al," he said. "You've got too many thoughts going on in your brain. Just calm down and see how the afternoon turns out."

There was a knock on the door, and Alex physically jumped into the air.

"I'll answer," said Miles. "Go and make the tea."

Alex went into the kitchen area, taking the kettle from the fire and making four cups of tea.....Cunningham's tea of course. He could hear Miles chatting to the girls in the other room. A cackle. Alex wished he had Miles' ability to laugh in any situation.

He took the tray into the other room, where everyone was sat around looking very jolly. Miss Wylie and Eliza were on the settee, and Miles was on one of the two chairs by the fire. After giving the girls their drinks, Alex sat on the Queen Anne chair opposite Miles. Miss Wylie looked paler than normal, but nothing about Eliza gave away her feelings. She just looked like a beautiful porcelain doll, as usual.

"Is there something the matter, Alex?" she asked, the tremble in her voice being the only thing to give away her uneasiness.

Alex closed his eyes. It was easier to say something horrid when he couldn't see the person.

"I'm afraid our marriage can't be as it should be." He said it quickly. "I have fallen in love with someone else."

He found the courage to open his eyes. Eliza looked a little dumbfounded, but Miss Wylie didn't look shocked at all. No doubt after her conversation with Miles yesterday.

"Do you want to marry them, instead?" Eliza uttered.

"That is out of the question. But I do want to spend the rest of my life with them."

Eliza said nothing, then looked at Miles.

"It's you, isn't it?"

"Who it is, doesn't matter," said Alex. "I just wanted you to know that we can't have a proper marriage."

"I'll be a laughing stock. One of those pathetic women everyone makes fun of because they can't find a husband."

"I spoke to Evie," Miles said. "She told me you wanted to go to Virginia. Well there might be a way you can do it."

"No! I don't want to hear it! I can't believe this, Alex. We are supposed to be getting married in six weeks and you choose to do this to me, now."

"You have no idea the mental pain this has caused me, Eliza. But let us be honest with ourselves, we only became engaged because my father and stepmother persuaded your father it was a good idea. We were the last two left on the shelf, and of course, your father's money was a huge appeal to mine. We were never in love."