Starlight

-9-

Roselyn ___

      "Rose!" Grandma called me over to her room. Naomi and I shared a brief look.
"Go in, she kept talking about speaking to you today." Dad chimes in just in time for me to break the brief contact I shared with Naomi.

"Daramfon James. I hear your grams calling you. Are you ignoring her?" I stand up immediately when mum's voice came through.

"No, I was just about leaving." I say to my mum, flashing a smile at dad before heading to Grandma's room.
My grandma is 75 years of age. She had my mum when she pretty young.
I stop just infront of her room, knocking lightly.

"Dara?" I heard her voice come through.
"Yes ma."
"Oh dear, come in. I've been waiting for you." She opens the door with a bright smile on her face. I sidestep her getting more entrance into her room.

She goes to sit on her bed and pats the side beside her.
Why do I feel we are about to have a long talk?
I sink into the space beside her. She held my hands, gently caressing my fingers.

"Dara, what's wrong with you?" That question isn't what I expected. I am completely taken off guard that I frown.

"What do you mean? I'm fine, grandma." She lets go off my hand, sitting upright. I don't know what's going through her head but she stares directly into my eyes.
I can't read her expression though.

"Who's Michelle's dad?" Another question that hit me square in my face.
N-no one asked me that in years.
I don't know where he is.
I don't know.

I don't want to talk about it, grandma.
Why can't you see?
"Please no, I---I." I sigh. I'm stuttering. I don't want to be reminded about her dad.
Why can't you all just let me be?

"Oh baby, I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable." She apologized quickly on being conscious about my discomfort.
I fiddle with the hem of my dress while being under her scrutinizing gaze.
Her looks is piercing.

Makes me so uncomfortable and open.
I feel exposed to her, she looks like she knows about what happened but won't address it.

I guess, waiting for me to speak up.
I'm not ready to take that drastic step.
God knows how much I've changed, I'm still scared about that one memory.

I decide to look up and meet her eyes. She was already staring at me. Once we shared that brief look, I bite my lips.
She held my gaze.
She looks like she has me figured out.
I'm scared of this silence. Grandma, please say some...

"I see you, baby. You are not the same girl I knew from earlier on. Your eyes. Your eyes hold a lot." She paused staring deep into my eyes probably trying to figure out what emotions my eyes hold.

"Your eyes hold pain, sadness and lastly__guilt. What's eating you up? What makes you feel that way?" She has me all figured out. I look away. I bite my lips to stop the trembling but to no avail.

Why grandma?
Why do you have to dig deep?
Why can't you still be shallow minded as others?
God, do everyone has me figured out?
Are they already disgusted?

"I'm fine, grandma."
"Don't lie, sweet baby."
"What happened between you and Asher?" She added scooting closer to me.
My lips tremble vigorously as I looked at my feet.
Asher...
Ash.....
Baby, Asher, how are you doing?

"He thought I cheated on him. I didn't. I loved him so much to do that to him. I promise grandma, I didn't." I don't want to look at her giving me that judgemental eyes.
I don't want that.
I didn't cheat on him.
Why would I?
Why couldn't he see it?
Why didn't he believe me?