Starlight

-4-

Asher___

I just arrived New Jersey, I am not gonna stay long. Spending the weekend, flying back on Monday. I haven't spoken to Dean since that lunch. I couldn't bring myself to.
I blame myself for disrupting their peaceful meal.
Dean hasn't called too.
I know he's disappointed and pissed off.
I couldn't blame him.
What will you do when you invite your friend over, you talk to him and he's all spaced out? Not listening to a word you say?
I'll snap.
I understand him but he doesn't understand me.

I can't help it.
I space out and think about my ex.
She's been on my mind since, she never left and I don't think she's leaving soon.
I hate that I still think about her, does she think about me?
Does she remember me?
Did she ever love me?
Did our relationship mean anything to her?
Or am I the blinded fool?

I rolled my luggage to the exit. I saw mum and dad waving at me. I quickly walked to them.
Mum ran over, I kicked my box taking my mum into my arms. She's quite short.
"Oh my baby, I missed you so much." She mumbled against my shirt.
I ran my hand over her hair, she just straightened her hair.
"I missed you more, mum."
"Alright, Grace. Can I hold my son now?" My dad walked up to us with my luggage. Mum pouted suddenly tightening her arms around my torso like I would disappear any minute.

I chuckled at dad's expression. He shook his head gently at ma, mumbling something like you can have him all to yourself.
Mum disengaged the hug clutching my hand tight. She's being dramatic again.
"I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere, mum."

"Your mum feels it's all an illusion." Dad said with a small smile on his face directed at ma who threw her head back in laughter.
"I'm here, mum." I reassured her, not then did she let me go.
I moved into my dad's embrace. Not then did I realise I missed the old man too.
"I missed you old man," he smacked my head twice.

Mum glared at him and soothe my head.
Always taking her son's side.
In your face, dad!
Being with my family brings out the childish side of me.
"I'm still young!" He whined checking his body out. He turned to mum,
"Baby, do I look old to you?"
"Actually, yes." She bit her lips holding back her laughter. My dad frowned hard, he couldn't believe mum couldn't reassure him.

"Even you! You are so sleeping with your son tonight." He feigned annoyance. Mum eagerly nodded.
"I'll be glad to catch up with him then. Gives me enough time." She nodded smiling at me, I returned the smile.
"Both of you should get married!" He pointed his finger at both, I and mum. I smiled at him.
That victory smile.
He looked at me like I stole something dear from him.
Oh I did, she ran into my arms just fine.

"Dad, you are 63, of course you are old," I tried to reason with him.
It didn't go well as you already know.
He glared daggers at me.
"Then your mum isn't any younger but I love her just fine." We all burst into laughter.
I missed my family. I should make a mental note to visit them often to take my head off things.

We finally reached the car.
"I can't believe y'all already ganging up against me. it's just been minutes since you arrived." He pointed an accusingly finger at me once I settled in the back seat.
"It happens."
"Charlotte always gat my back. Can't wait to be home." He ignited the engine, moving us out of the parking lot, hitting the road.
"I love you, dad,"
"I love you, Ash but I love Char more."
"George!!" That would be my mum.

***
"Asher!!" Charlotte ran into me once I got into the living room. She released me, taking my hands and scanning my body for any stratch.
"How has NY treated you? I know how much you hate being there." She said as a matter of fact. Charlotte is my immediate younger sister, she's 26 and about getting married.
"I'm fine as far as I never cross paths with her."

Charlotte and I have been closer since the death of Emily. She knew about everything that happened years ago.
"Oh Asher, when will you learn to let things go?" My eyes snapped to her.
What is she saying? I stepped away from her reach, her eyes softened once she realised what she said.
"I came home to forget things not to be reminded constantly about them." I retorted walking away from her further into the living room. She stood here, eyes up at the ceiling.

I don't care if she's hurt.
She shouldn't have spouted gibberish.
Mum watched me keenly, her gaze sharp. I shifted uncomfortablely on one foot.
When she has that look on her face, it's like she could read me.
"Asher," her voice hard and stern. Not the cheerful and joyous tone I'm used to hearing.
I don't like what she's about to do.
I know what she means.
I know what she expects.
I am not doing it.
"Apologize." That one word roll off her mouth with authority and command.

"Mum, it's fine. My bad, Asher." Charlotte immediately intervened.
She knew better, I wasn't gonna apologize. Not now, not tomorrow.
"Asher Storm! You are in my vicinity, you need to learn your manners. I don't want this to repeat itself else I'll force you to apologize. I'll like to believe you know better than to disobey." She cocked her head to the side. She wasn't happy with what just happened.
I'm sorry, mum but I won't apologize.

"Alright, why don't we all gather and pray for our safe journey?" Dad gestured to us to come close. I don't know how to break it to them that I don't sit right with this prayer.
I don't pray.
Not anymore.
Not since that night at the hospital.
Not since six years ago.
I stopped praying.

"Father Lord, we thank you for bringing..." I turned them off. I had my head down, I don't want mum finding out.
She'll lecture me then preach later.
I am not ready for that.
"...in Jesus name we pray, Amen."
I zoned back in just in time to chant "Amen" alongside with them.
I left there immediately taking my luggage with me up to my room.
I need space.

###
Have some patience. Some of us where like this. Blaming God for our misfortune by so doing we stop praying altogether.
Also, some people stop praying 'cause they prayed for days and years yet nothing happened.
I want you to know that your time is coming.
And when it's your turn, your prayers would be answered and you'll tell God,
"This is more than I asked for. Thank you."

God bless y'all 🤍.