YOU, ME, & SHE • |KTH AU| •

thirty-two

“I don't have many happy memories from my early childhood. I was born into a really tough situation; my family didn't have a lot of money.

My dad was a horrible drunk. He couldn't hold down a job to save his life whilst Jieun juggled multiple part-time jobs just to scrape together enough to keep us afloat. As a waitress or cashier, whatever she could get. But it was never enough for my dad. He'd demand the money she brought home, only to waste it all at the bar before stumbling back, reeking of whiskey.

My parents fought all the time, they couldn't see eye to eye on anything. I can still hear my parents' muffled screams and shouts through the thin walls of our cramped apartment late into the nights. My sister and I would huddle under the covers, trying to drown it all out. Sometimes the fights turned physical, so I learned to quickly pull my sister into the bedroom and lock the door whenever I heard that familiar slur in my father's voice. He was a real piece of work, very unpredictable. A sharp word or wrong look was enough to set him off. He didn't care who he hurt, whether it was me, my sister, or Jieun. It was like he had this twisted pleasure in making our lives a living hell.

Jieun did whatever it took to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, but other than that she was never very motherly. She had this bitterness that seemed to seep into everything. She got pregnant with me at seventeen, and her parents, well, they weren't exactly thrilled. They kicked her out to the curb, didn't want an extra mouth to feed. So, she found herself with no other choice but to move in with my dad.

She'd always complain about how I'd ruined her life, how having me was the reason her life turned out this way. And though her barbs weren't physical like my dad's, they cut me deep all the same.

The life she wanted was far removed from our bleak reality. She'd talk for hours about all the fancy things she wanted — the big house in the suburbs, designer clothes and jewelry, fine dining every night. A rich husband to shower her with gifts and fulfill her every want. It was like she lived in a fantasy world, unwilling or unable to accept our grim situation.

Over time, I noticed a shift in Jieun's behavior.

She started acting all different, you know? It was like a switch had been flipped, and suddenly she was happier than I'd ever seen her before. She took more care with her appearance — doing her hair and makeup nicer than I'd ever seen and being out of the house all the time, returning late with thin excuses. Sometimes she'd come home with gifts too — a piece of jewelry or new clothes. Nothing flashy, but more than we could usually afford.

I ignored all these signs, just didn't want to anticipate what was coming.

And then one night, she didn't come home at all. My father's rage was terrifying, but I felt only a numb dread.
The next day, Jieun finally showed up, looking like a completely different person. Her hair and nails were perfectly done, and she was dressed like some Stepford wife or something.

A bunch of big, thuggish looking men streamed into the apartment behind her. My father's screams of rage cut through the air as they wrestled him into an immovable hold. He demanded to know what was going on, but Jieun didn't even glance in his direction as she strolled to her room.

When she finally reemerged with a small suitcase, the look in her eyes was cold.

"I've become engaged," She announced casually, as if discussing the weather. "And I won't be staying here any longer."

It was like a dagger through my chest.

My dad, tried to break free from the grip of Jieun's men, screaming and swearing at her, but they held him tight, not letting him get to her.

She teasingly held up her other hand, showing off the huge, sparkling diamond on her ring. "Who knew," She drawled. "That I'd end up being grateful to you for never putting a ring on it. Why, it made it easier for another man, better and wealthier by far, to do the same."

Thea ran to her, wailing and begging to be taken along but Jieun shoved her off with a grimace. "Stop your blubbering. The three of you will manage fine without me."

As for me, I could only stand frozen, stomach roiling as the reality sunk in that she was truly leaving us for good. I couldn't find my voice, couldn't find the strength to do anything.

And then she was gone, heels clicking sharp against the floor as she strode away without a backward glance. Her indifference cut the deepest of all.

That was the last I saw of her for eleven years.

With Jieun gone, it was like the last shred of my father's humanity disappeared along with her. He grudgingly got a job and everything, but the drinking escalated out of control, and I, being the older sibling, took it upon myself to shield Thea from his wrath. I'd let myself become the target, absorbing the blows meant for her. Dark bruises bloomed across my skin, but I endured it all to keep her safe.

The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, and the months into years.

I took on two jobs as soon as I got old enough, to help put food on the table while also trying to survive highschool. The constant exhaustion was enough to dull the pain, both physical and emotional.”

And then Jennie came along.

_______________________________________

I lean back in my chair, feeling raw and drained.

There isn't any easy way to finish telling Taehyung my story without mentioning Jennie. I'd have to admit to why we hid knowing each other in the past, plus relive all the history we share.

I'm not ready to do either of these things just yet.

A gentle wrapping of fingers around my own startles me from my thoughts.

"It's okay," Taehyung whispers. "I'm here to listen whenever, so don't force if you're not comfortable. Tell me when you're feeling more up for it." He leans closer, his gaze steady on my own.

"You know, going through what you did at such a young age, it's amazing you managed to stay as strong as you are. Most people would have crumbled under that pressure, but not you. You fought to survive, to take care of yourself and your sister, and you're still fighting every single day just to keep moving forward." He gently squeezes my hand.

"Bad things happen to all of us in life, some worse than others. But it's what we do after, how we choose to walk our path, that defines who we become. And you, you haven't let the darkness define you — you've managed to keep your spirit intact. So don't ever doubt your strength or your worth."

I feel a lump forming in my throat, overwhelmed by his sincere empathy.
I can't bring myself to say anything, so I just his hand a grateful squeeze, and we settle into a comfortable silence, just staring into each other's eyes.

Though he's broken me, my feelings refuse to fade...

What the hell am I going to do..??

A/N: You can't resist the urge to vote and comment, just like you can't resist a slice of pizza!