Replacement Of His Love

22 - Her feelings

Akansha POV -

Here I was sitting infront of the holy fire, it all just feels empty, I don't feel anything, it's just a slight ache in my heart and that's it.

Pandit ji ordered avyansh to apply vermillion in between my hair partition, just as he forward his hand on my hairs I saw his eyes, his eyes were focused on applying vermillion, my eyes filled with tears it was that moment that changes everything in a women's life.

I closed my eyes tightly not able to control' my tears, and then I heard him whispering "aankhon Mai sindoor chala gya kya? I'm sorry!"
(Has vermilion gone into your eyes? I'm sorry!)

A enough amount of vermillion fell on my nose that it almost covered my half nose with sindoor, and I heard avyansh's and my parents chuckling, he backed off and sat on his original place while staring at his parents to know the reason.

"The amount of sindoor falls on her nose determines how much her husband will love her!" Avyansh's father said and smiled.

"Is it?" Aarav asked.

"Yes!" My father said.

"Meri shadi Mai to sindoor naak pe lagaunga sar pe nhi aur ek balti bhar ke bhi launga!" He said and glanced towards akshita, while she blushed.
(If I get married, I will apply vermillion on nose and not on head and I will bring a bucketful of it too!)

After all the rituals and taking blessings from all our elders, my parents tried to embrace me in a hug but I backed off, I don't want to cry!

---------- TIME SKIP ----------

I was standing in the balcony, my gaze was fixed on the moon, I heard the door opening and then closing but I didn't paid much attention to it.

"Akansha?" I heard a deep voice, in response I hummed and turned around.

"I don't want any misunderstandings so I am clearing the point here, This marriage is just for name! it's a loveless marriage I would never be able to love you as my wife, I still love my late wife and will never be able to love any other girl except her... you can take this room, I'll leave for the guest room." He said and left the room closing the door harshly.

With every word he said my heartbeats were raising.

The moment he closed the door I let all the tears fall down.

How can he do this to me? Why didn't he told me earlier that he was a 'widower'?

I wanted to scream my heart out and cry.

This is not true, this can't be the truth.

I felt my legs getting weaker, I fell on my knees and face palmed myself trying to control myself.

It hurts.

It actually hurts to know that your husband loves someone else.

It hurts to know that you are never going to get the love your expected from your husband.

It hurts to.... It just hurts so bad.

Those uncontrollable thoughts were eating up my mind, I was feeling like my head will burst any moment.

The lump that formed in my throat made me feel like I should throw up.

I stood up with trembling legs and went towards the mirror to see my messed up self.

It was hurting me so bad, I thought of giving this relationship a chance and thought everything might become normal but this is what happened on the first day of our marriage itself.

I removed the bangles oppressively which caused redness on my hands skin, pulling the nose rings harshly my nose started to bleed, I removed all the jwellery and kept it on the dressing table.