Now something else keeps happening.
I'm fine,
I'm doing something else,
nothing to worry about,
and then,
I remember.
I say,
'You should talk to her!'
'Sure, it might be weird...'
'...but it's not like you hate each other or anything.'
And I hover over that button,
the one with the arrow,
it's a circle,
it's right next to all the other buttons that have fancy animations,
it's burple.
And I just,
don't.
I don't press it.
The static comes back again,
and I forget what I was going to say.
Normally,
my mind spirals,
and it starts to panic.
It regrets the things I did,
it becomes engulfed in rage,
it sobs,
cries,
starts the rain.
But now,
it just stops.
It doesn't know what to do,
what to say.
It freezes,
and just goes numb.
It loses all emotion and personality,
becomes a shell,
a husk,
a machine,
a corpse,
a whatever metaphor that even makes remotely any sense anymore.
It's almost like it's in limbo.
So I just write instead,
which we said we wouldn't do anymore,
it hasn't caused anything good at least,
and this is a horrible way of saying how I feel,
and it'll only cause more scars and cracks and dents,
but I don't really care.
Because with the static,
this is the only way I know how.
And then I do something else,
and I'm fine for some time after.
I mean,
not really,
but...
I'm okay for a little.
And then I remember again,
and everything repeats.
YOU ARE READING
maerdyad
Thơ caI don't know, I just need to write stuff right now. When you thought you found the one, after all this time, after all the poeple that left, and it turns out, she loves someone else. For when the rain comes, and the hail, and all hell is unleashed, ...
