maerdyad

HOW IS YOUR DAY

Im not fine.

Im not fine And i cAnt keep lying thAt i Am fine so everyone else cAn be fine And not worry About me.

Im not fine And i miss you And i hAte your flowers And i see thAt heArt they hAve on your usernAme And i wAnt to be A good friend but i Also wAnt to gAg At it And i wAnt to rip thAt fucking phone in hAlf so they cAnt tAlk to you And i just wAnt you to finish thAt stupid shitty cringy Ass gAme becAuse thAt seems like the ONLY way someone could understAnd me Anymore but thAts stupid hAhAhAhA why Am i tAlking About A stupid gAme in A poem right now.

i hAte thAt you did this to me
its not your fAult
whAt you did
but it still hAppened.

You mAde me feel AmAzing And thAt i ActuAlly hAd some purpose in life And it wAs never meAnt to be but it wAs still nice ActuAlly loving someone for the first time ever And now its All over And i hAve to live through whAt they hAd to live through but worse becAuse broccoli still only tAstes greAt if youve never hAd chocolAte And now the only food i cAnt eAt is broccoli And the chocolAte might not hAve been heAlthy for me And A million other bAd things mightve hAppened As A result of th chocolAte but it still wAs AmAzing.
And i hAve to pretend IM FINE SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY im fine dont worry.




And i still hAve to see her everyday

i
still
see
her
every
fucking
dAy
of
my
life

And it mAkes my dAy

just

horrible

And shes friends with everyone And they wAve hi to her when im right there stAnding next to them And i know they do cAre but it seems like they dont cAre About whAt hAppened between me And her And it seems like nobody cAres because shes just the nicest person on the plAnet AppArently And everyone loves being her friend because shes An AmAzing friend And i Am litterly going insAne becAuse of her becAuse of All this And NOBODY cAres.
Nobody seems to cAre she is the reAson im like this now i wAsnt like this before And now i Am And thAt single choice she mAde of deciding not to be my friend hAs led to 1300 more things thAt hAve hAppened in my mind I AM PRACTICALLY LOSING ALL HOPE IN LIFE BECAUSE OF ALL THIS SHIT AND NOBODY SEEMS TO FUCKING CARE AT ALL WHATSOEVER WHY DO GOOD GRADES EVEN MATTER IF I DONT HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND COURAGE TO USE THEM FOR ANYTHING USEFUL.



I need to be the side chArActer i Am
I just need to just suck it up theres people in wAy worse situAtions im in And theyve gotten through it so i just need to deAl with it becAuse im being fucking ridiculous right now GOD CAN YOU WRITE A SINGLE LINE THAT ISNT A RUN-ON SENTENCE?

No.
Nobody will understAnd me.
ThAts not my moody emo teenAger side tAlking.

Just,
nobody will.

I Am unfortunAtely unique,
in the worst wAys possible.

And dont try to convince me otherwise.
BecAuse
youre
wrong.









So no.
I Am
in fAct
not
okAy.


ThAnks for Asking.

Im tired now.