You saved my life

Chapter 22: kokichis past ( part 5)

WARNING: eating disorder, suicidal, drugs/alcohol, self harm

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„Everything didn't matter to me anymore. Life was useless. Everyday was the same. I woke up, I went to school, I got hurt, I went home, I cut myself and i went to sleep. I started to count the days while slowly starting to killing myself. I stopped eating. Like I only ate one apple a day or sometimes I really didn't eat anything. Nobody cared about me so nobody asked me about it. Only my neighbor sometimes looked after me. That was, where I started to fake my emotions. I smiled at her and told her, that everything is fine. Everytime, when she finally went away, I sighed and looked at the wall. I thought that she only wanted the money I had. I mean..I was kind of wealthy, but I never told anyone. People..only cared about money and I wanted to find real friend, but it never happened so I knew how stupid humanity is. Humans can't be trusted. I had to find this out in the worst way possible. I don't know what I did wrong, but life hated me. God hated me. I needed to die. I started to get more skinny and loose weight. I then one day I went to an illegal restaurant. With illegal i mean they sold drugs in secret. I bought alcohol and drugs and went home. I put the alcohol in the fridge and started to drink it regularly. Just like I took the drugs regularly. So basically..the drugs and alcohol were my meals. I started to get more pale and unhealthy, but that was just what I wanted. I wanted to die after all. I even started to skip school, just so I..could drink more alcohol and take more drugs. I got addicted. I started to have hallucinations and I started to feel happy everytime I took the drugs. They made me forget that I only ate an apple or Sth. I had more fun with cutting myself after I took them. I couldn't feel any pain while I harmed myself. I cut myself till my arms were completely bleeding. The blood was dropping on the floor and I smiled. I continued like this for months, only, that I started to cut my legs too. My whole body was covered in scars. Input on bandages and started to wear long clothing even in summer. The teachers didn't care about it. I'm sure they noticed but they didn't do anything about it. I still was bullied and they beated me up more often. I sometimes had a bloody nose or mouth. I liked the pain and that's why I didn't defend myself. The other stupid persons only watched.

Since I ate only a little bit per day, my weight dropped to 30 kg. I got so skinny, that you could almost see my bones. I started to get dizzy fast I also stopped growing. My wounds when I cut myself started to heal less. And then one day..I just collapsed in the bathroom. It was right after I cut myself, took drugs and drank alcohol. I don't know how..but my neighbor saw it. I don't know what happened after that. I just...well woke up in the hospital. Doctors were looking at me worried. They told me that I drank too much and that I weight too little. They told me everything I knew already. I stayed in the hospital for some months. Then they gave medication and said that I will feel much better when I take them. Just right when I wanted to go, they found out that I live alone. And..and I didn't know what to do so I ran away from them. I hid in the hidden basement of my house. They searched for me but couldn't find me. Only at night I could finally get out. I started to pack my things. I even went into her room. Usually I covered all mirrors but not hers. I saw myself. No, I saw a monster. I looked around her room and found a scarf that she used to wear often. I put it on and yes, it's the scarf..that..I now wear everyday.

I made sure to not forget anything. Atleast not the important things. Then I opened the door and..looked at the house one last time before I started to run. I didn't know where I just ran in the first direction I saw. In the woods. I ran for about 2 hours, before I couldn't run anymore. I looked around and found a shack near by. I went to it and a kind woman approached me. I asked if I could stay only for the rest of the night and she said yes. Of course I was scared that she will do something to me, but she didn't. Only the next day she looked at me serious.

Are you kokichi?

W-W-What? Y-Yes but how do you kn-

I saw the article. Your missing.

They already send them out. I was scared that she would tell them that I'm here but she wasn't like that.

So..why are you missing or why are you here and not at your home?

I-I..I just can't live her anymore..I..I don't want to get adopted or anything I-

Your an orphan?

Yes..

..my..oh my..you really don't want to go back?

Yes. I don't..want to go back.

Well..I alright..if you go this direction you'll arrive at Danganronpa city. You can start a life there..you..look very skinny. How about you eat sth? I'll give you some clothes and then you'll go, alright?

T-Thank you.

That day was the first day I rated sth normal again. In the hospital I got astronaut food, so it was a different feeling for me. Some people are used to get good food every day, but now I noticed how..important food is. She then gave me some clothes and I changed myself into them. I thanked her many times before I made my way to Danganronpa City. It took me some hours to arrive. I stepped out of the woods and bright light shined at me. I then wrote myself in, in the Ultimate High school and became..

the ultimate Supreme leader..."

OMG YESS! Wait-ehem.

That was the chapter!! I really hoped you liked it!~
His past is now finished and gosh..to write this chapter actually made me feel weird like-
Well anyway. I hope your alright and if you have a problem like this then..please your not alone! You can do this! Alright?

Good night/day my unis we will read each other.