Lifeless Sea (GL)

Chapter 1

A/N: Enjoy Reading!

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆞

In my 17 years of existence, I have never felt treated this way. This is my daily routine—makarinig ng kung ano-anong mga salita mula sa babaeng iniluwal lang ako, 'cause I don't feel like I'm her daughter at all.

I'm on my way to school when she suddenly shouts, "Magkano kinuha mo sa pera ko?!" She shouted while I was on my way out.

"30 pesos lang!" I said with the same tone as her. Pamasahe lang ang kinuha ko.

"Singkwenta ba?!" I guess she didn't hear me. It makes my blood boil. Shame on me to be her daughter.

Anong magagawa ko? Kung gano'n yung nakikita ko sakaniya? She went abroad when I was just four years old, to be exact.

I've needed a mother who can protect me, but now she's the one who's hurting me. How ironic, right?

Imagine if wala si lola baka hindi ko na siya kilala, and now that she's here, the unfolded childhood memories of mine grew again.

The will of being taken care of by your mother, preparing your food before you go to school, and comforting you with her soft words—that's all I wanted; I'm longing for that, and that's my dream with her.

But that 'dream' faded when she came back, when I realized that reality was not as beautiful as I imagined.

And now, she's living with her boyfriend. Hindi niya naman kinoconsider yung nararamdaman ko. She never asked me about my feelings, all she cared about was herself. I don't see why she's mad. But one thing's for sure. Hindi niya ako mahal bilang anak.

"Huwag mo akong sagot-sagutin tangina mo!"

Another pang of pain, a memory that can't be easily erased. Those words was written in my mind that broke my heart.

I walked out of that house and continued walking, habang pinipigilan ang mga luhang nagbabadya.

"Sanay ka riyan, Sea." I gaslighted and comforted myself. Sino pa bang gagawa no'n kundi ako lang.

I walked instead of riding a tricycle.

Kailangan kong tipirin ang natitirang allowance ko dahil alam kong maraming ambagan this sem. I don't have enough money for shits.

When I entered our room, my groupmate suddenly walked toward me. Hindi nga ako nagkamali, another ambagan, buti nalang I have some money in my pocket right now.

Ibibigay ko na sana ang pera nang hablutin 'yon ng isang matangkad at maputing babae with her long wavy black hair na kusang umaalon sa ganda at halimuyak. When I looked into her eyes, it was deep brown shade iris that pulling me to look onto her.

"Here, lista mo siyang paid na ha. Thanks!" Sabi nito at itinuro ako.

I looked at her with my confused face dahil inabot niya ang pera niya sa kaklase ko.

I don't want anyone to mind my business, ayoko ng pakealamera. We're not close either but I do know her because she's kinda popular here. She's everyone's friend, and I hate being associated with extroverts. Her name was Katniss.

Inabot ko sakaniya ang perang hawak ko na dapat ay pang ambag. Hindi niya iyon kinuha but she just smiled at me and walked away dala ang folder at pen sa kamay nito kasabay ang ilang seniors from Psychology Department.

Hindi ako makakatulog hanggat hindi ko nababayaran 'yon dahil ayoko ng utang na loob. Sa gitna ng inis ay boses ni Surea ang gumising sa'kin.

"Late ka nanaman, Sea" puna sa'kin ni Surea. She's my friend since grade seven, siguro ay kanina pa nila ako hinihintay.