Out of Control (Damien x Reader)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚍

I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to take in every inch of my image. How my hair was in every perfect place, curled just right and framed my face. My makeup painted my face perfectly, natural enough to let my beauty come through. The dress hugged by body and complimented every section.

Everything was perfect.

Perfect for my day.

I smiled and stepped down from the pedestal, just in-time for my man-of-honor to walk in.

"You look amazing." He grinned brightly. He adjusted the necklace -that was Damien's mothers- around my neck so the jewelry hanged correctly, then brushing his hand down my arm, "How are you feeling?"

"Thank you, Cory." I grinned, I shrugged and gestured to the practically destroyed Bridal Suite, "This room is a pretty good explanation." Cory let out a small life and collected some of the trash lying around the room, like it would aid some of the anxiety I was feeling. I played with a  bobby pin to prevent myself from biting on my freshly polished nails. "Have you seen him?" I stuttered quietly, "Damien. Is he here? Is he getting ready?"

"Yes. I just saw him in his suite before I came to you." He laughed, "You both are here, both getting married today."

I nodded slowly and looked out the window, watching the leaves blow in the breeze. We were both here. And we're both getting married. I had to repeat it to myself again, trying to get it to sink in. Somehow. Cory leaned into view, catching my hand. He swiftly grabbed my hand, giving it a quick squeeze before speaking gently, "Do you need me to go grab Chase?"

"Please."

-

"What's going on?" Chase said once he entered the room. He quickly shut the door behind him -as if the groom was standing immediately behind it- and began inspecting me, "Do you need more hairspray? A touch up? Wanna cry in joy?" I gave him a look that wiped the grin from his face. Chase then took me by the hands and guided me to the sofa so we could sit. He grabbed a box of tissues and a bottle of water, and stared patiently. Waiting for me to crack open.

"You'd tell me if this was a mistake, right?" I quickly sputtered, "You'd tell me if this was a bad idea and I should run, right?"

"I think you're just having cold feet." Chase chuckled, "I had them at my wedding too, it's normal."

I rolled my eyes and stood from the sofa abruptly, "Chase, you got divorced. You don't get to tell me what is normal."

"I'm not going to take any offense to that since you are in a spiral."

"I'm not in a spiral!" I shouted, then catching the loudness in my voice. I cleared my throat and smoothed at my dress -although it wasn't wrinkled. "I'm not in a spiral." I explained, "I'm just... not even supposed to be here, I'm supposed to be dead."

And the room went quiet. I knew I probably should've kept that to myself. I knew Chase didn't want to hear that, and I knew he didn't know what to say. But it was the truth. I'm not supposed to be here. I was supposed to be dead, years ago. And Damien just kept bringing me back to life. I'm not upset about that. I'm not upset that he wanted me to be with him, to spend more time together, to grow closer together. I'm not upset that he created a false reality for us to live in so we could be happy and care-free together.

I'm upset that I know. I'm upset that I know I was supposed to be dead. I'm upset that I won't remember my past life. I'm upset that I'll never know what's true and what's programmed.

I was supposed to be dead and it's something I'm still coming to terms with.

The silence only last for a few more moments before Chase decided to stand, brushing off his pants and gesturing towards the door, "Let's get you down that isle, okay?"