♡ favorite | han seojun x oc

twenty five

absolutely unpresentable would be a perfect way to describe my current appearance. i had rushed out of bed, still wearing seojun's black oversized t-shirt and a spare pair of gray sweatpants that i had left at his place.

i passed the bathroom mirror and saw that my eyeshadow was smudged, but that didn't matter right now.

i've never felt this much anxiety and panic in my life.

i flung the front door and slammed it behind me, with my feet not even fully in my shoes yet. with no shoelaces tied, i bolted for the elevator.

the feeling of being kicked out from my previous school and the weight of my dream crashing down, produced less dread than this.

i almost screamed at the elevator as i had barely missed it and it was already going down now.

do i take the stairs or do i wait?

if han seojun were gone from my life, i might as well feel abandoned in this world too.

i looked to stairs at the end of the hallway and sprinted towards it. after entering the stairwell, i cursed at the stupid amount of stairs there were. whenever i neared the bottom of a series of steps, i'd hop off the last few hoping to save time.

my shoe had fallen off when i reached the ground floor, so i just grabbed it and ran outside to call a taxi.

my mind was flooded with the possibilities of "what if" scenarios that could of happened to seojun and suho. i could not bare to lose either of them.

when i finally got ahold of a taxi, i gave the driver the hospital's address before he could greet me. he stepped on the gas of course, upon seeing my distress.

i shoved my foot into my shoe and didn't bother with the shoelaces. i could not get myself to tie them properly. my heart pounded so violently in my chest.

as every second passed by, my grip on my composure loosened and the terrifying fear of the unknown slowly consumed me. i prayed and prayed that seojun is alright.

not a unfortunate single event in my life has created enough dread that is on par with what i felt right now. not when i got expelled, not when those deliquents forced jugyeong and i to go to a karaoke bar, and not even last night's incident with junghyun scared me like this.

i think that han seojun is the one for me.

where he is, that is where home is. if he were to disappear from my life again, i'd live everyday feeling as there is an unfulfilled and lack of security in my life. i had felt like that for the year we were apart.

and if the universe is taking him away from me now, that will be the cruelest thing it can do to me.

"we're here-" before the driver could finish his sentence and stop the car, i had already given him more than enough cash for the ride and exited.

i ran straight into the building's entrance and immediately to the front desk. passersby in the hospital gave me weird looks and muttered, "what kind of hurry could she be in to be missing one shoe?"

my shoe fell off again? i turned around and noticed the lonely converse on the ground near the entrance and picked it up swiftly.

"i'm looking for a patient named han seojun," i stated as soon as i went to the front desk again. the worker's eyes scanned over my distasteful appearance and asked, "what is your name and relationship to the patient?"

"song hyojin. i'm his girlfriend," after the last part slipped out, i realized i might not even be able to see him. if the hospital only permits guardians to see him, then i might as well die of anxiety.