Broken Vessel (AMOG Series #1)

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

Story

“Can I talk to you?” Isang araw naabutan ko siya sa cafeteria kumakain mag-isa.

He was hesitant to look me in the eyes, but he still did and managed to make a posture.

“Bee, pasensya na. Umupo ka…” alok niya sa akin. 

I did not smile at him. He smiled at me, but not as wide as I used to see. I put down my food. Looking straight into his eyes.

“Are we okay?” matabang kong tanong kahit sa kaloob-looban ko masakit iyon.

He laughed a bit. He is acting like we didn't have a problem.

“Oo naman, Bee. Na busy lang ako sa church pati na sa acads,” sagot niya sa akin.

I nodded my head. I really need to let this out before it ruins my mind.

“Who's that girl?” tanong ko sa kaniya.

Gulat niya akong tiningnan. My eyes are slowly getting emotional. Nagpapaloko na naman ako sa nararamdaman ko.

“And please...” Pumikit ako. I wanted to burst out of him the emotion I felt right now, but I chose not to. “Don't lie to me, Obed.”

I opened my eyes and directly peered into the eyes of the man that I admired. Nangungusap ang kaniyang mga mata. Parang nagmamakaawa, natatakot sa akin kung ano man ang pwede niyang sabihin na nakakasakit sa damdamin ko.

“M-My first love… si Katelyn…” mahina niyang sagot.

Hindi ako makapaniwala na nakatingin sa mga mata niya.

“Nagkabalikan na kayo? You two seemed very sweet that day,” I bluntly said, with pierced eyes yet softened inside.

Umiling siya. Dahan-dahan naman ang kaniyang pagyuko.

“Hindi, Bee. Ganoon lang talaga si Katelyn, medyo madikit,” pagpapaliwanag niya.

“Kung ganun bakit, hindi mo ako pinapansin ng dalawang buwan? You even avoided me yesterday; what was that?” My voice turned into desperation.

He turned his gaze at me. Nakauwang ang kanyang mata. I can't pretend to be nonchalant right now. Hindi ko na kaya. I looked at his hand on the table and immediately grabbed a chance to hold it. Nakatingin siya doon.

“What did I do wrong?” I whispered, begging.

“Bee…”

“B-Bakit kailangan mo gawin sa akin ‘yun, ha? May nagawa ba ako?”

Umiling siya. “Hindi nalilito lang ako, Bee.”

“Ha? Saan ka ba nalilito?”

Bumuntonghininga siya ng malalim bago niya tinanggal ang pagkahawak ko sa kamay niya. Seryoso ang tingin sa akin.

“Bee, alam kong may mali ako. Pinagsisihan ko na iyon ngayon. I am sorry, kung iniwan man kita nang walang dahilan.” After that, he stood up. “May klase pa ako. Mamaya na tayo mag usap, Bee.”

Iyong mamaya niya naging ilang buwan ang lumipas. After that conversation with him, he never communicated with me anymore. Kahit na tuwing nakasalubong kami sa hallway, hindi na siya lumilingon. Thinking, nakakapagod pa lang maghabol sa taong mabilis ang takbo, kahit sabihin ko na wala akong pakialam sa kaniya, nahahayaan ko siya. I still cried at night, thinking, What did I do?

I stopped hanging out with his friends, too. I did see Amare on campus, but I didn't dare talk to him on social media or in texts, either. I don't know; seeing them together while ignoring me hurt me so badly.