Broken Vessel (AMOG Series #1)

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

Exhaustion 

Seeing the girl beside him clinging to his arm broke me like glass. Piece by piece, I am shattered.

Why does the love could be this painful to feel, ha? Is it because I expect more from him? 

Nakatayo ako doon habang takip ni Amare ang aking mga mata. I feel the gradual raindrops from the sky. I heard a voice, but Amare took me out of the place immediately. Kaagad kami sumalong sa isang maliit na tambayan dito sa church nila. Dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon ang gusto ko na lamang ay umalis at umiyak. Kaya hindi na ako nag-iisip kung mababasa man ako sa ulan at tumakbo papalayo doon.

“Adri!” I heard Amare's deep voice as he shouted my name.

Hindi ako lumingon at basta na lang tumakbo. Hindi na nga nagpaawat ang aking mga luha at bumuhos na ito. Habang lumalakas ang ulan, gano'n din ang naging hikbi ko. Naglalakad sa kalsada habang hindi alam kung saan ako pupunta. Basta ang gusto ko lang gawin ngayon ay umiyak at lumayo.

Napahinto ako sa kilid ng kalsada, malayo kung saan ako galing. Hindi ko alam na kasunod kaagad sa akin si Amare. Basang basa rin siya sa ulan, kahit ang bag na nakasabit sa braso ay ganoon din. He looks so worried and guilty while looking at me. Inangat ko ang aking ulo. Nagsusumamo ang kaniyang mga mata. When the thunder struck, we heard a voice.

“Bethany!”

Napalingon kami pareho sa aming likuran. The man who I met in our subdivision, Obed, called Tata Anwar, is standing not so far away from us. He is also wet from the rain, and he is wearing a brown shirt and brown pants.

He looks very familiar. I didn't even realize that he had long hair. And a thick bread around his face. Upon my gaze, he slowly reached his hands toward me.

“Rabbi…” Amare whispered.

“Come to me, Bethany…” that voice!

He weakly smiled at me. I didn't respond to him. I am still crying.

“You are in pain… I know…Come to me. Don't run away, Bethany.” He said not in command, not with force but with patience.

Umiling ako. Ang kaninang hawak ni Amare sa aking balikat ay unti-unti kong tinanggal. I wept over a boy! I can't believe it!

“No,” I whispered as I slowly got down on my knees.

Then two men held me as I was about to kneel down. My eyes as it's own mind to look and identify the old man who held me aside from Amare. The form of his eyes gave me hope and courage to listen, but my heart was dragged out by the pain.

“I am in pain...” I said while looking straight into his eyes.

He nodded at me, like he knew everything from the beginning.

“I know, my child. I know…”

Does he know? He knows? Really?! No one knows how I feel! No one ever knows how hurt I am seeing him with another woman while leaving me hanging! 

Galit ko siyang tinulak. Nagulat siya sa aking ginawa. Tinulak ko rin si Amare. They are now both on the floor. Shocked at my sudden outburst. Galit ko silang tinignan pareho.

“No one knows my pain! No one ever knows that!”

After I said those words, kaagad akong tumakbo papalayo. How could he do that to me? I did everything for him! Kaya niya siguro ako hindi kinausap dahil may iba na siya? Is that so? Iyong babae na iyon? 

Crying in the street is the most unexpected thing that has happened in my entire life. I feel like this night is my dark night.

An hour of walking back to our home with my wet uniform. Hindi ko alam, how did I survive walking miles away? I just cried in my room the whole night without thinking that I still have class tomorrow.