Snarry One Shots

The Count Who Loved Me

Summary: As it turns out, being bitten is the story of Snape's life. Harry is not amused. At all.

Ships: SeverusSnapexHarryPotter

All credit goes to Anonymous on Ao3

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"Could you explain this to me?"

Snape glanced at the list Harry had thrown onto his desk. He didn't seem to be surprised at all, more as if he had expected something like this.

"Leave," he said and for a moment Harry was offended, but then realised that Snape hadn't addressed him.

The portraits of the former headmasters left their frames without a single word of protest. It was impressive, really, the authority the man radiated, but Harry didn't have time to be impressed, because he was so confused. And furious!

"I didn't think it would be revealed so soon," Snape said when they were alone.

Harry stared at him. "Is that supposed to be your explanation? Please tell me this list is wrong!"

"It's not, Potter. It's a magical list, you know how it works."

Yes, Harry knew. The Vampire Registry didn't lie. A registry that listed every single vampire in Great Britain in chronological order. He had been working on a case for a fortnight, tracking down a cell of low-level vampires, and was about to close the file when he saw a new name appear at the bottom of the list. It updated automatically as soon as someone was turned into a vampire. It was flawless, always correct, and yet Harry couldn't believe his eyes. Or didn't want to!

He had told his colleague that he would take the list home and check all the facts again without attracting attention. Everyone at the MLE hated cases involving vampires, so they hadn't asked a lot of questions about how Harry was getting along with his investigations.

Instead of going home, he had apparated straight to Hogwarts and was now standing in Snape's office, who had been headmaster for five years and counting.

"So...are you a vampire or not?" Harry asked, his heart beating so loud that he feared Snape would hear it.

"It was an accident," Snape stated.

"An acc-...wh-...well, yes, obviously, because that's not something you're doing on purpose right? For fuck's sake, Snape!"

"Language."

"The fuck! You're surviving the deadly bite of an evil snake to get bitten by a fucking vampire instead?"

"I swear Potter, one more swear word and you will leave my office this instant!"

Harry took a deep breath. He paced back and forth in front of Snape's desk, agitated.

"Okay, fine, let's start with something simple: How are you?"

In contrast to him, Snape seemed to be completely calm. "I'm fine. I mean...I'm immortal." He gave him a little smile.

Harry stopped, staring at him. "I know, your humour has always been dark but...it's gotten even worse! Why are you not freaking out?"

"Because I can't change it. And to be honest, I've faced worse."

"Worse? You are a vampire! You probably need to drink blood you...holy shit, you're running a school!"

Snape sighed and got up. "Come", he said. "If you're going to pester me with questions, I at least want to be comfortable."

He turned around and climbed the small staircase behind his desk. At the top, he turned around again and looked down at Harry, who was still standing at the bottom. "Does the idea of being alone with me scare you?"