A Court of Smoke and Shadow

Chapter Five: Selene

Cassian was right. I should've sat down.

Rhys filled me in on everything they discussed - essentially confirming my suspicions of my bastardy. As he spoke, a memory came to me of Madoc telling me a story about Oak's nursemaid.

She was mixed with some Fae, some Illyrian, and some human via a distant family member. She met a Fae male with violet eyes and they'd had a fling on and off. One day, the female had given birth to a partially Illyrian child and ultimately dumped the child off on the male's doorstep.

Madoc had not known what became of the child but I suspected that I might be that child. I tried to deny it at first but now I'm realizing it's worryingly plausible. Everything about it checked out. My father had regarded me with disdain and wariness.
For once, I wished he was still alive. There's no closure from the dead. I couldn't find out the truth from him. All I had was straws and wild guesses.

"I wish there was some way for us to confirm the truth," Rhys said.

Then something occurred to me. Jude and Cardan had a kid a few centuries ago. They used the same nursemaid Oriana used for Oak for their kid.

"Wait," I said. "What if there was a way to corroborate that story?"

That nursemaid is still alive. I could ask her. If she's really my mother, she would be able to confirm the truth. Or maybe she would refuse to tell me. Regardless, I could still ask.

"What do you mean?" Cassian asked.

So I explained to him the story Madoc told me about Oak's nursemaid. I told them it's possible that she could be my mother. By the time I finished, everyone was quiet.

"So you think this female was your mother?" Rhys asked.

"Madoc couldn't - can't lie," I reminded him. "She either knew of my mother or is my mother."

"So we ask this female," Azriel stated. "Then we figure out the truth."

I nodded my agreement. And so we departed to Elfhame.

***

The Shifting Isles of Elfhame had not changed in the years since I left. It was quiet - it was early in the morning and most of the faeries here were asleep. We moved quietly through the halls of the Palace of Elfhame. I led us through the halls and to the rooms I once occupied.

The main room looked very similar to my study - a couch, table, and a bookshelf took up most of the side of the room - done up in dark browns, black, and dark greens. I lit the candles throughout the rooms and motioned for the boys to sit down. All of the furniture had been made to fit Illyrian wings. Thankfully, Cardan had the foresight to make the furniture that way.

"This is your room?" Cassian asked.

"Yes," I responded. "My bedroom is through those doors."

I pointed to a set of double doors on the opposite wall of the bookshelf. "I'm going to go change before we go find the old nursemaid. I'll be back."

I walked into my old room and lit the candles so I could see. I dug through my wardrobe until I found a scarlet gown, made of silk. It was something Mor would wear - down to the plunging neckline. I took off my nightdress and changed into the gown.

It was simple to put on - no corset, no buttons, no zipper. I tied up my own hair and wrapped a shawl around my shoulders. I walked back into the main room where my brothers and my mate sat.

"Let's go," I said, ignoring the way they seemed surprised. "Before everyone realizes I'm back."

"Speaking of," Cassian said. "Where is everyone?"