A Court of Smoke and Shadow

Chapter Six: Azriel

Once the truth came out and Selene's tears dried, we said our goodbyes to Karyn and departed.

Selene went to research more about her family - at least on her mothers side. She wanted to know more so she could come to terms with the truth. I felt sorry for her. Her whole life was uprooted in the span of 30 minutes. Feyre was going to have to be filled in on everything.

Rhys left to go do some spying in my stead. Cassian merely left to do whatever he normally does, which left me alone to find something to do with myself. I should be helping my mate. That's the right thing to do.

I walked to her room and knocked softly on the study door.

"Come in," her voice said, muffled through the door.

I opened the door and joined her on her couch. Strewn across the tables and desk were multiple books and pages of research regarding Grisha.

"Do you want me to help?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded. "You can look through the ones on my desk. I'll do the ones on the table."

I nodded and sat in the plush dark green chair and began sifting through the piles of books.

***

It took multiple hours to comb through all the texts regarding the Grisha. There were 3 orders of Grisha: Corporalki - the Healers and Heartrenders that worked with a persons body, Etherealki - Squallers, who summoned wind; Tidemakers, who summoned water; and Inferni, who summoned fire; and Materialki - Alkemi, who worked with chemicals like blasting powders and poisons; and Durasts, who specialized in solids.

Then there were the rare Grisha: Sun Summoners, who summoned light; Shadow Summoners, who summoned darkness; and Tailors, who blurred the lines of Corporalki and Materialki. It started getting more interesting from there. The most notable shadow summoner was nicknamed the Black Heretic. He created the Shadow Fold when an experiment with merzost - the Ravkan word for magic and abomination, Selene explained.

Apparently, the Shadow Fold had been destroyed by the first known Sun Summoner, Alina Starkov and she had died destroying it. The land where the Fold had been was barren until the Darkling - who had been revealed to be the Black Heretic himself - was sacrificed and was held between the world itself and the making at the heart of the world. Now, the Shadow Fold was blooming with quince.

I looked at Selene, who was still poring over her texts. She looked up, and sighed.

"I know almost everything about Grisha," she said. "I'm still confused as to which type of Grisha I am."

"Karyn said you were descended from a powerful Healer," I said. "Wouldn't that mean you were a Healer?"

"Not necessarily," she murmured. "I could be a Heartrender. It's part of the reason Corporalki training is so long because they work with the body. It's intricate work."

"What's the difference?"

"Healers tend to be stationed off the side of the battlefield," Selene said. "The Heartrenders tend to be stationed on the battlefield. Basically the Healers are more for saving lives, Heartrenders are taught to end lives."

"So basically, it's up to you," I said.

"Yes," she nodded. "Once a Corporalki gets to a specific part in their training, they have the opportunity to choose whether they want to be a Healer or a Heartrender. Whichever they chose, is what they learn."

I nodded in understanding. Basically, it's her choice whether she could be a Healer or a Heartrender. I supposed she only needed to practice more, train more. We'd have to send her to Ravka to train. That's going to be hell for her, given the fact she was older than most Ravkans.

"We'll have to talk with Rhys," she declared. "I'm going to need training."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, her mouth pressed into a thin line. "I hate having to leave so soon, but this could provide us an edge in this war."

I nodded again. I hated that she was right. She had to leave me again. I sat next to her, pushing the books away. Selene laid her head on my shoulder.

"I hate leaving," she said. "I might not get to see Feyre come back."

Feyre was one of her closest friends. They were inseparable and their bond had only deepened after the events Under the Mountain. It had hurt her when Feyre left, even if it was for a good reason. Now, she might not get to see her come home.

I wondered if that was what it felt like when she was dragged to Elfhame, by Tamlin's brother, from here. Did she mourn the life she left behind? Did she understand it was for the best? Did she regret leaving?

The one question that always lingered was: Did she ever love me? But I know the answer now. She did love me and she still does. She always will love me.

"If you have to leave," I said, carefully. "I won't stop you."

She looked up at me through her lashes and smiled. "Thank you."

I smiled and nodded, ignoring the breaking of my heart.