A Court of Smoke and Shadow

Chapter Twelve: Selene

Hybern invaded Velaris again.

They snuck into the library connected to the House of Wind. They had snuck in, glamoured as scholars and chased Nesta and Feyre through the library. Rhys had killed them with his bare hands. I couldn't say I blamed him.

My dragons were growing more and more by the day. Ares had essentially taken them under his wing - literally and metaphorically. I was fairly sure he thought they were his children.

I had to get a stable built for my dragons. Now, Ares, Falkor, and Ryoko live in a massive stable near the townhouse. It's glamoured to be hidden from view of anyone other than me and the Inner Circle - including Feyre and her sisters. Any outsider wouldn't be able to see it. I loved my people but I put my dragons, my wyvern first.

Nonetheless, I checked on my dragons daily. They grew constantly. They were almost as big as horses. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was they were only a week old and already were sleeping in separate stalls because of their size. Eventually, they were going to out grow the stables and I wasn't sure where to move them.

I was stressed out over what to do. I couldn't stay focused if my life depended on it, and honestly, it kind of does. Azriel was constantly keeping track of Hybern's army and their movements so I hardly saw him.

I hadn't really been eating well in his absence. I wish I could add that I was staying sober from all the powders I used to take in Elfhame but I wasn't. They were the only things keeping me distracted.

Of course, none of my family knew this. They'd stage an intervention if they did, especially Rhys. I've been hiding the powders and only taking a little bit at a time. The only noticeable side effect is the blown pupils and I've learned to avoid the others in order to hide it.

So far, I've been doing well at hiding it. I counted myself lucky for it.

***

I jinxed myself.

When I walked back into the townhouse, everyone - specifically Rhys, Cassian, Azriel, and Mor- was sitting in the seating area. On the table were the packets of powders that I had hidden under a loose floorboard in my room. I looked at them.

"Care to explain what these are?" Rhysand asked, with barely restrained anger lacing his voice.

"What do you think they are?" I asked.

"Where did you get them?" Cassian asked.

"Elfhame," I admitted. "Cardan gave me them."

"Why would you take them?" Mor cried. "They could kill you!"

"Hasn't it ever occurred to you that maybe... I want them to?" I questioned.

"Why?" Azriel asked. "You've just come home and you want to die?"

"I never said I wanted to be alive to begin with," I said, raising my voice a little.

It was a terrible decision because even that slight change caused Feyre, Nesta and Elain to wander downstairs in confusion. All of us turned to face them.

"What's happening?" Feyre asked, concerned.

"Nothing," I responded, reaching for the powders. "We were having a small disagreement."

Rhys misted the powders before I could grab them. I stared angrily at him.

"What the hell," I snapped. "Why would you do that?"

"I'm not letting you run yourself into the ground," Rhys scowled.

"I needed those," I scoffed.

"No you didn't," he retorted. "You need to not take those anymore."