A Court of Smoke and Shadow

Chapter Twenty Four: Selene

Ryoko was dead.

I felt her soul leave her body. It was my fault. I should've been keeping a closer eye out but I didn't and now she was gone. I had to make them all pay. Restitution needed to be achieved.

I stood, wiping my tears. I walked back onto the battlefield, my power rallying. Rhys was a High Lord and immensely powerful but I could be even more powerful. I had never tested the limits of my power but I would be testing them today.

The earth rumbled beneath my feet, my power roiling under the surface. I pointed at Hybern's army and a large chunk of them vanished under the heat of the blue fire that lashed out.

Hellfire. That's what it was. There were myths of Fae with that power. But they weren't myths. They were real and I was proof of it.

I kept lashing my power out until I couldn't anymore. I pulled my gun and fired off into Hybern's lines. I wanted them to suffer. I wanted them to bow before me. I wanted to watch them break under my power.

I understood how dangerous this power was, and what it could do. I could rule and topple kingdoms with this power. I could be the ruler of all things. And maybe I wanted to be ruler of everything, but above everything I wanted a nice peaceful life with my mate.

If war was the cost of having that peaceful life, then so be it. Let me be the Queen of All, the monster they fear at night.

***

I don't remember much after my grief-filled rage.

Well, I remembered bits and pieces, but especially when Rhys sacrificed himself in order to help Feyre rebuild the Cauldron. I remember it so vividly because he had fulfilled the oracle's prophecy.

One child's sacrifice for the other child's freedom.

I had always thought I'd be the one sacrificing something but it had been Rhys all along. It was laughable, really, my desire to be great, my greed. I should've known it would be Rhysand who made the great sacrifice. He was always sacrificing some part of himself.

I remembered feeling his soul leaving his body and then returning to his body once more. I was so confused until Feyre explained what happened. I had sensed other souls departing from bodies but only once had I ever felt a soul that returned back to a body. And that was Under the Mountain, when Feyre was reborn as a Fae.

Being on the battlefield, surrounded by the dying, was an onslaught of souls swirling around me. It took every bone in my body not to pass out from the overstimulation. That was the only downside of my power.

I used the last bit of strength I had to winnow Ryoko to the campgrounds. Nothing could be done to save her. Upon my request, and at the cost of a great sum, I got Ophelia to put an enchantment on Ryoko to preserve her body until we returned to the Night Court to bury her.

I stood next to Azriel – bandaged everywhere and his wings in splints from overworking them the day prior – after Feyre called a meeting with all the court leaders, as well as Jurian and the human army, to discuss creating a new Treaty.

I listened to her as she discussed her story, all of her story. I didn't balk at her story, because mine was equally bad and I was there to witness it.

Feyre and I had twin wounds, even if I refused to acknowledge it.

***

Days after the war, we winnowed back to Velaris.

Sunlight still leaked in through the windows of the town house. The scent of citrus and the sea and baked bread still filled every room.

And distantly ... Children were still laughing in the streets.

Home. Home was the same—home was untouched.

Ryoko was buried in the backyard of the townhouse. Rhys had commissioned a headstone shaped like a dragon – shaped like Ryoko – to mark her burial site. I cried when he told me.

And even though we had all bathed, as we stood there ... there was a grime to us. Like the blood hadn't entirely washed off. And I realized that home was indeed the same, but perhaps we were not.

Amren muttered, "I suppose I shall have to eat real food now."

"A monumental sacrifice," Cassian quipped.

Amren shot Cassian a glare. Then turned to Nesta, who hadn't eaten in days.

"I'm surprised you didn't take the king's head back to have stuffed and hung on your wall," she said.

Nesta looked at her.

"Some would consider that joke to be in bad taste, Amren," Mor said, clicking her tongue.

"I saved your asses. I'm entitled to say what I want."

And with that Amren stalked out of the house and into the city streets.

"The new Amren is even crankier than the old one," Elain said softly.

Feyre laughed at that and despite everyone else started laughing, too. Nesta, however, did not. I did not say anything. I didn't know what to say.

Maybe the destruction of the Cauldron had severed her tie to her power.

Or maybe, like me, she was left forever scarred.