The room fell silent as Selene walked in.
I took in the sickly pallor of her skin and stood. She wasn't dressed up in nice clothes or wearing even a little makeup. That struck me as super odd. She was always wearing makeup or nice clothes regardless of the occasion.
The only time she wasn't wearing them was when she was in her fighting leathers – but she still wore at least some eye makeup. But now she wasn't wearing any at all. Just a simple cotton gown with her hair loose.
"Hello," she said, even her voice sounding sickly.
"You came home," I said, surprised. "When?"
"An hour ago," Selene admitted. "I just didn't know if I should come down."
"Of course you should've," Rhys said, pushing past me to hug Selene.
She stepped back and Rhys faltered in his step. He looked very unsure of himself for once. After a moment, he backed away from her.
"I-," she started. "I'm sorry about ordering you guys off. I just didn't want you to see me like this. Cauldron knows I've had better days."
"Honestly, Sel," Feyre said, "you could outshine any female naked and covered in mud."
Selene smiled. "Thank you, Feyre."
"It's the truth," Feyre said, with a half-grin.
"I'm not so sure about that," Selene conceded.
Feyre's grin slipped but she didn't have the chance to respond because Selene spoke again.
"I'm going to make something to eat."
No one could stop her so she simply walked away to make something for herself to eat. I felt like a shitty mate letting her get that way. I should've done more to help her.
You can't save her, a voice in my head whispered. Not if she doesn't want your help.
I knew that she'd struggled with drug use in the past. She gave me a letter shortly after coming back from Under the Mountain, detailing everything that happened in those 400 years before her return. She'd written everything in grim detail, sparing nothing.
I felt a great deal of sorrow for not trying to find her. It always struck me as confusing why her body seemed to have vanished but her mother's didn't. I should've investigated further.
But maybe a part of me didn't want to know. So my heart couldn't be broken further.
YOU ARE READING
A Court of Smoke and Shadow
FanfictionAfter the events of A Court so Cruel and Lovely, Azriel and Selene seem to finally have the relationship they so desperately wanted. However, when Feyre's sisters Elain and Nesta are thrown into their midst and the truth of Selene's heritage comes o...
