A Court of Smoke and Shadow

Chapter Twenty: Selene

I knew Azriel was stressing over me.

I felt his stress down the mating bond. I felt his curiosity and desire, too. I felt everything. His emotions have always been extremely powerful. Much like myself, he felt things strongly.

To me, he was different than all of my exes. I knew he cared about me, even if he didn't show it. Those other males? They only wanted me for sex or my body. Or to say that they fucked the princess of the Night Court. They meant nothing to me, of course. Those males were distractions to keep me from missing Az.

It didn't work, but it kept me occupied. That, and sneaking to the mortal world from Elfhame to go to malls or listen to music or hang out with Jude, Taryn and Vivi. I missed them terribly. I didn't understand it. I got what I wanted – I'm back in Prythian, so why do I miss Elfhame?

I felt an ache in my chest. Maybe I missed the friends I made there. Or maybe I missed the glamour and revelry of Elfhame. I had loved it there, even though I missed home.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and let myself sleep a little.

***

I woke in the middle of the night and rushed to the bathroom.

Kneeling over the toilet, I emptied my stomach of everything I ate in the past 24 hours – which wasn't much – as quietly as I could without waking Azriel.

It didn't work because he still heard me and walked into the bathroom, held my hair back and rubbed my back as I puked until I was just dry heaving. I flushed when I was done and Azriel grabbed towels to wipe the vomit off my face.

I leaned my head against the cool tile and sighed.

"Am I still pretty?"

"You're always pretty, love."

"Even with vomit on me?"

"Even with vomit on you," Azriel said. "Come on let's go back to bed."

"Okay," I murmured, standing up.

Before I could start walking, Azriel scooped me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style back to the bed.

***

I woke to sunlight streaming through the window.
Clearly, me or Azriel forgot to close the curtains. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. On my bedside table was a tray with breakfast and a fruit plate. Accompanied with the food was a note that read:

"Rhys sent me on a mission. I should be home by tonight."

It was signed a heart and nothing else. I smiled at how absurd it was. I never knew Azriel to sign letters off with a heart. Maybe things weren't so bad in our relationship. Maybe we would get it right this time.
But I couldn't help thinking about how he behaved around Elain. I didn't know why it bothered me so much. I knew I was his mate and Elain was Lucien's mate and yet I couldn't help but feel like there was something between them. A spark that hadn't been there between us.

Part of me wanted to simply walk away from him and save myself the heartbreak but a part of me wanted to work things out. It was stupid, but I'd loved him for over 500 years. Surely we could work things out.

Right?