I Won't Give Up (Teacher/Student)

Chapter 21

Twenty One

Caden hadn't spoken for two weeks, not really at least. For the most part, he stayed in bed, unmoving, his back facing me and his gaze fixed on the blank wall in front of him.

He ate less and less as time went by. I took the time to learn how to make his favorite meals in an attempt to comfort him in one of the only ways I knew how. It didn't take long for me to notice that the food I placed on his nightside table went untouched. Sometimes I'd find that he at least took a few bites or that the throwaway snacks were gone. I could see that he was losing weight, but I wasn't sure what I could do to help him apart from prying his mouth open and feeding him myself.

I wasn't sure how much he slept. He'd often jerk in the middle of the night, yelling and crying, and I noticed the purple and black skin packed underneath his eyes. Most nights, I would inch closer to his side and wait to see how he responded. Sometimes he'd ignore me entirely and I'd know that he wanted to be left alone, and other times he'd reach out for my arm and wrap it around his torso, still not saying a word but holding me tight against him.

He hadn't been to work during those two weeks. He hasn't been out of this room except for the times when I forced him to take a shower. I took the first two days off and laid in bed with him, not speaking but staying there in case he needed me.

By day three, I had to go back to school to not raise suspicion among my classmates. Still, I came home for every lunch period to make us food and skipped my study hall and gym periods to check on him. When I couldn't make it to the apartment, I'd call Jackson to make sure that he checked up on him.

Jackson was much more open with his grief. When I needed a break from the suffocating silence of Caden's apartment, I'd slip into the living room where Jackson was watching TV or we'd go for walks during his work breaks. He'd tell me stories about his mother and his childhood, he'd give me updates on his other family members, and he'd tell me how he was dealing with the grief by burying himself in his work. He signed up for more overtime, trying to feed this unrelenting need to save other people because he couldn't save his mother.

It scared me a little. I knew that his work already required him to put himself in harm's way. He literally walked into burning buildings that were ready to collapse, looking for any people that needed help. He already had the desire to help them, but now it sounded like he didn't give a shit what could happen to him if he could save another person. It was like his second chance to defeat death and save another family from a heartache similar to his own.

His father also hadn't gone back to work, and he wasn't sure if he'd go back to Pennsylvania for the case. There was about two months of work left, but with it just being my dad now, it was anticipated to last longer.

Jackson's response was the opposite of Caden's, but it was just as bad. It was wearing him down slowly, and I had to just watch and listen. It's not like there was a magical date where grief ended and people moved on from the loss of a loved one, but maybe it got easier to swallow as time passed. Instead of feeling it every day, maybe you feel it every week, until that week becomes a month, and then a year, and then whenever there is a reference that triggers your memory and the pain.

I was walking the track during gym class because my asshole of a teacher told me that if I skipped one more time, they'd fail me. While I wanted to drop kick them right there, I also didn't want to risk not graduating this spring because of fucking useless ass PE.

So I told Jackson to check on Caden and was waiting on his update.

The dickhead locked me out of his bedroom and won't let me in. My shift starts soon so I have to leave. He'll come around.