The Great War

Chapter 14

"I used to think the happiest moments of my life was when I was a child. Back then My mom and Dad were alive. We had a cookout for the block every Sunday. We went to church and ran around our giant backyard. We were a family."

"And your not now?" Monica stops writing in her journal to give me a puzzled look with a quirk of her brow.

"Ive been through so much to get to wear I am today. All the trauma and all the pain Ive felt it all so deeply. I mean I was in so much pain that I disappeared from my own home, I turned to drugs. Did some things im not proud of. But, despite it all I forgive myself and I forgive those around me because i am stronger then them." A blurry film washes over Monica eyes and just as she turns her face I can see the tears slip from her eyes.

She reaches forward and clasps my hands in her a look of pride is worn with the tears that are streamed down her face.

"Oh Valerie. You have come so so far and I am so proud of you." Those words made me feel better about what I did. Ive made a lot of choices leading up to this moment but i cant bring myself to regret it even for a second.

As my therapy session if finish I hug Monica and exit the room Owen sits in the waiting room and stands instantly when i enter. He offers me his hand and I take it as we walk out the doors of my therapists office.

I never thought I would recover from Jessie's death. Hell, I never thought I'de recover from my fathers death but now im a mother and im getting married to the love of my life. Owen opens the car door for me and enters the drivers seat. Our car ride is a comfortable silence.

I stare at the palm trees of LA pass us by and think about how much im gonna miss all of this. Owen and I decided to have the wedding in a church in Rio de Janerio. Were only temporarily staying in LA so that Mia can help me with Jessie Lue. I want her to spend as much time with my family as possible because after the wedding and our honeymoon were moving back to London.

Owen pulls into the driveway of our temporary home and I start to get my stuff ready to leave the car. My hand is on the handle when the doors lock and Owen grabs my hand causing me to face him curiously confused. His eyelids lower into a hooded gaze as he brings my hand to his lips and trails them over my fingers placing light kisses on each finger as he passing.

My chest rises and falls with his action and I can see the corner of his lips pulling into a smirk at his impediment. I bite my lip but cant stop the light giggle that escapes my lips. Thoughts swirled in the back of my mind like maybe we shouldnt be doing this right now but all those thoughts evaporating when he swung me off my feet and carried me into the house kicking the door shut with his boot.

I almost forgot how much I missed times like this. To be in the moment and in to be so in love with him. To kiss him freely because i can and he's mine. Now to love him for eternity because No one can ever take him now.

I have to force myself to pull away from his lips. My chest heaves as I find my breath. I look around the house barely registering my settings. His grip is firm but comfortable on the sides of my hips.

"Jessie," I start but he only smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Letty's not letting her go anytime soon." He grins looking slighly down at my short figure. I trace the scar along his face and he lets go of me completely retreating to the kitchen in long strides. It happened so fast and I knew he was starting to overthink things. And just like that ive ruined the moment.

"Owen wait! Look im sorry." i call following him. He opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle keeping his back to me the whole time. Words wont make him talk to me right now. Its true that im healing inwardly but my relationship is a whole different story. This poor man still blames himself for the fate of the world and I hate it so much. Nobody else is loosing any sleep over what is too come. He carries the burden and grief of knowing what the future holds and Its killing him. He told me his scar is a reminder of the biggest mistake he ever made. Though we already agreed to forgive each other for our actions he continues to punish himself.