Narcissa Malfoy x reader

Insecurities (18+)

Summary: Narcissa and you have been dating for a few months, but you still haven't had sex yet, so one day you gather the courage to ask her why, learning about her insecurities.

Warnings: oral sex (giving and receiving), vaginal fingering (giving), face-sitting, fluff, hurt/comfort.

You and Narcissa haven't had sex yet and, even though you respect her boundaries, you have no idea why. You've also noticed how she doesn't change her clothes in front of you, always preferring going to the bathroom or closing the door of the bedroom before doing so. So one day you finally decide asking her about it.

Since she's been at your place a lot in the last few weeks, Narcissa is wearing your T-shirt over her undergarments (she borrowed it to sleep in last night and hasn't yet changed). Seeing her in your clothes, especially muggle clothes (something very different from what people are used to seeing her in) makes your heart stutter.

"Is there something wrong, love?" she asks, noticing you staring at her. You've been sitting in bed for a while now.

You blush a little, trying to figure out the best way to ask the question that's been on your mind for almost and entire month. You're afraid of making it sound like you have a problem with the fact that she's always hiding her body from you and with the fact that you two haven't made love yet, but that's not the case at all. You care a lot about Narcissa but that's something that's been making you wonder for a very long time.

"No, nothing's wrong... can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. You know that." she replies, not looking up from her reading. Narcissa's sitting against the headboard of your bed, one hand holding the book, the other mindlessly tracing invisible patterns on your arm and shoulder. She does this all the time but for some reason it always makes you shiver.

"It's just... ever since we started dating and you come over, I noticed that you never change your clothes near me. Always hiding somewhere." you try your best not to let it sound like you're complaining but your voice still comes out a little frustrated and you feel embarrassed at how desperate you are. "We haven't..." you blush, and you're glad you don't need to finish the sentence.

Narcissa looks up from her book. "You never change your clothes near me either." she replies defensively, closing the pages and setting the book on the bedside table.

You're surprised at this response. "Because you never do! I was just trying to match your moves..." you frown slightly, unable to hold back the slight annoyance in your voice. Is she really that oblivious to what you were doing? "I just..." you sigh, rubbing your face. "I don't know how to ask this..." you run your hand through your hair. "Did I do something wrong? Is there any reason you're... keeping your body from me?"

Narcissa's expression softens and she moves her palm to your cheek, tracing your cheekbone with her thumb.

"Darling, you haven't done anything wrong." she says, her voice quieter than usual. "It's just..." she takes a deep breath, her fingers finding one of yours and playing with them. "I don't look as young and attractive anymore. I am in my 40s and you're in your 20s... Not to mention I went through pregnancy before, that has left some scars... I'm afraid you won't like what you see..." she admits quietly. "Also... you know how before you I've only been with Lucius, intimately speaking... I've never been with another woman so... so I am afraid you might not like it..."

You feel your heart sink at her confession and mentally slap yourself for not talking to her sooner. Your other hand finds her waist under the shirt she borrowed. You scoot closer to her on the bed and move your hand to caress her other cheek, and she leans into the touch. You tilt her head back gently so her eyes meet yours again. Narcissa's eyes are sad and your heart squeezes. You're desperate to show her how beautiful she is in your eyes, how much you crave her and you want to curse every time she's ever been made to feel like she's not enough.