A Melody of You: Book Five

Leanne

I'm scared.

But I keep it deep within. There is no space to second guess myself or back out now.

Yujun and I have been studying so much. We have prepared ourselves for this day. We even practiced on cadavers and all sorts of materials that students often use. Microsurgery is not foreign for cardiology but it is mostly used in neurosurgery. I made sure to practice micro surgical techniques and observe my so-called skills. There can't be mistakes on that day.

Aubrey stayed late with me after I was done practicing one night. I did a small yawn and she gave me a small smile. "I always see you studying with Dr. Kim. We will be fine. Microsurgery isn't so bad."

"Have you done it before?"

She nodded. "For a child with limb malformation. I worked with a plastic surgeon."

I nodded in silence as my mind ran with images of how that surgery could have gone. She cleaned the last of the materials and said, "Make sure to rest, Leanne."

I looked back at her and saw her gentle care for me in her pretty blue eyes. It felt like I was back in our college when we consoled each other late at night in the library. She always gave me this same smile filled with a gentle happiness that seemed contagious. She's a lot like Yujun.

I did a soft scoff and said, "You seem so confident."

"Do I?" she softly said as we began to walk out of the practice room. "Honestly, I'm nervous." I was surprised to hear this from someone with the same gifted mind that Yujun has. But she was genuine as she said, "I couldn't believe Dr. Kim accepted this challenge. But if he doesn't take the chance, then who will? It's dangerous for sure though."

"He had to beg me to accept his offer to scrub in."

She laughed in a way that made her blue eyes bright. "Yes. I had to think about it for a day, but I thought it would be nice to give it a try. Then I heard who else was part of the team and that helped me say yes."

"Oh yeah?" I said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. We will make a great team. My knowledge in pediatric microsurgery, Dr. Kim's mastermind abilities, and your precise skills will bring back happiness to Jacob and his family. I know it. However, some things require a miracle more than gifted minds. This is one of those cases."

I thought of her words every time I gave myself time to take breaks and sleep. Miracles. She sounds like someone who often works in the birthing center. But there is truth in those words. I can see it now as I prepare for the surgery hours before. I had a small chat with Grace the night before. I needed a distraction because I began to grow anxious and I didn't want to worry Yujun. He was in his office all day trying to mentally focus and prepare for this moment.

Grace said the same words. Miracle. We needed a miracle. We needed to find faith and hope first for that miracle to happen. She put a hand on my shoulder and warmly said, "Why do you doubt so much? You have seen God in your hands so many times. Why do you keep doubting?"

I swallowed down tears and softly said, "How can I not when one mistake can leave a child paralyzed for the rest of his life?"

She furrowed her brows with worry but then sweetly smiled. "Yet you still agreed to do it. I know you, Leanne. You don't make a decision without seeing its potential. Something in you had hope. Listen to that now more than ever. Let your faith rise in you at least for your own sanity."

She always knew how to see right through me. She knew I was scared and she knew just how to make me take a breath. Now I find myself washing my hands and arms by Yujun. He finishes before me and lets out a soft sigh. I watch him look at the water running and then fixes his mask around his neck.