come over? | Haobin

Chapter Nineteen

Incoming FaceTime call from Yujin❤️...

"Hello?" Zhanghao lazily answered.

He rubbed his tired eyes as the brightness of his phone hurt instantly as he picked up the call. He was abruptly woken up from his sleep by his brother, who must have forgotten about the hour difference in Korea and America.

"Hey." Yujin greeted, "Wait, were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, it's 3 in the morning."

"Oh shit, sorry."

"It's okay. What do you need?" Hao said kindly, happy to be interacting with his brother, because it had been quite a while since the last time they had properly talked.

"I don't need anything, just wanted to talk for some time. Catch up and stuff. But I can call when it's morning for you."

"No, it's fine. I'm awake now. We can talk for a bit."

Hanbin stirred after hearing some talking, now awake too. He turned to Zhanghao and looked down his phone to see who he was talking to. He smiled to himself after realising that it was his brother.

"How are you doing?"

"Uh... Well, I guess?"

"Doesn't sound so convincing, you know." Yujin pointed out, making Hanbin slightly frown.

He silently envied Hao's younger brother, because he would have never caught onto the fact that it was a lie. He would have believed Hao and just moved on to the next question. He guessed that it was true that siblings were more psychic of one another.

"How are you, like truly?" His brother asked again.

"Bad, I am doing so bad, Yujin." Hao admitted and immediately felt Hanbin intertwine their fingers together as a comforting gesture.

"Why bad?"

"I relapsed once again, I don't live with dad anymore, guys at school never leave me alone, I feel exhausted."

Relapsed? How did I never notice? Hanbin thought. He was so used to seeing Hao's scarred legs that he never put too much effort and attention to notice if there were any more new wounds amongst the old ones. How could he be so careless and inattentive to his person.

"Wait, you don't live with dad anymore?" Yujin asked, quite frankly dumbfounded.

"No. I haven't been for the past two weeks."

"What? Why? Did anything happen between you two?"

"Yeah... Some things happened that lead me to the conclusion that he's not that good of a father. I don't really feel safe around him anymore."

"What did he do to you?"

"It doesn't matter now, Yujin."

"Why? I have so many questions. Where are you staying now then if not at home?"

"Remember Hanbin?"

"Mhm."

"I've been staying at his house. I'm with him right now actually."

"Does he take good care of you?"

"He does." Zhanghao smiled, receiving a light tug on his hand from the Korean.

"Good. And about those guys at school? What's up with them?"

"They're Yuta's friends so you know." Hao sighed. "They just always have something bad to say about me."

"Fucking hell, why does life have to be so difficult for you?"

"Yeah... I don't know either."

"Move to America with me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I can't just drop out of university in the middle of the year. And where would I live there?"

"With me and mom."

"Mom doesn't like me very much."

"Shit... I don't like how you get treated in Korea though."

"It is what it is."

"But it shouldn't be like this." Hanbin suddenly spoke up, making Hao turn his head to the male.

"Oh, he's awake too?" Yujin asked. "Hey."

"Hi." Hanbin said. "Hao, can we talk?" He whispered to the other, but Yujin heard it too.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay? Go now. Love you." Yujin reassured, letting them talk and hung up the call.

"Hey, why didn't you tell me any of this? That you relapsed and that guys are still bothering you at school? I mean, yeah, Yuta messed with you today, but more? Why don't you tell me these things? It's important."

"I'm not used to talking about that stuff with people. Especially about self harm and relapses. Like how am I supposed to tell you? I don't even want you to know about it."

"Why? Why are you hiding yourself that much from me? I'm not going to leave you if I know."

"It's just—It's hard being vulnerable in front of people. I hate it so much." Hao said.

"So you would rather go and cut yourself?"

"Woah there. Harsh choice of words."

"It's not harsh if it's the reality. I'm sorry for the way I'm speaking right now, but I just want you to know that you don't have to suffer in silence. You can tell me things. You can let me help you heal. Both physically and mentally. I am ready to be there for you."

"It means a lot to me, but I'm just scared to open up. That's it. I'm scared of your reaction."

"You have absolutely no reason to be though. I want to know, I need to know about this stuff. We may not be boyfriends yet, but we basically live together, we sleep, we eat together. I have the right to know about what goes on in your life. Especially when it affects your wellbeing." Hanbin spoke softly.

"I understand you, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"No! You don't. I just simply don't like talking about it with anyone. I have a hard time letting my guard down and actually talking about it."

"I've noticed. Can you please try to work on that so we could actually talk about things like this?"

"I guess I can try..."

"Thank you. If you feel like relapsing, please talk to me. Or if you do relapse, don't be ashamed and just tell me. I won't judge you for the way how you choose to deal. I want to help you. Let me help you."

"Okay... I'll try harder for you."

"Don't try harder for me, try for yourself. Or at least try for me until you find the strength to try for yourself, okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

"Thank you for opening up to me." Hanbin smiled.