come over? | Haobin

Chapter Twenty-Five

It was late at night and Zhanghao still hadn't said a word to Hanbin about what had happened to him. He laid down in bed and faced the wall. Hanbin instantly felt the male's off putting energy so he just wrapped his hands around his body, pulling him closer.

Hao froze at the sudden physical contact.

"Goodnight, bebe, sleep well." Hanbin said and nuzzled his face into the crook of Hao's neck.

"Can we not cuddle tonight?" He suddenly asked, his voice was small.

"What? Why?"

"I think I'm coming down with a cold. I don't want you to catch it too."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll be good." Hanbin said and kissed the Chinese neck in a comforting manner.

"Please." Hao breathed out. "I don't want to cuddle tonight."

"It's just a cold, baby. Don't worry, I won't get sick."

"No, Hanbin, you don't understand. I. Don't. Want to cuddle tonight." Hao said and stood up from the bed, going straight to the bathroom.

"Hey, okay, okay. We won't cuddle. Come back to bed, baby."

"I'm going to shower." He lastly said and closed the door behind him.

As soon as he locked the door, he instantly went over to the bottom drawer under the sink and found a floral metal box that belonged to him. He slowly opened it and sat on the cold tiled floor, resting his back at the bathtub.

He took the item out of the box and trapped it between his fingers. He rolled up his shorts and looked down at his scarred and haunting skin. The sight made his stomach turn. The canvas was not pretty. There was barely a patch of skin that wasn't covered in self inflicted wounds. Hao had grown to accept that he will never not be a freak as no one liked that on a guy.

Zhanghao gripped tightly on the blade and started dragging it across his thigh. He made horizontal lines, letting the crimson liquid stream down his leg. He always cut deep. So deep, it left purple scars afterwards.

His mind was wrecked. It felt so good hurting himself right after someone else had hurt him too. He wanted to better them up. He could physically feel the weight lift up his chest, relaxing entirely.

He continued dragging the sharp object in all kinds of directions, trying to cause as much damage to the muscle as he could.

He just wanted to disappear, he wanted to be gone.

Life wasn't nice to him, so why should he stay, drowning in his own tears laced with pure misery. He didn't want to feel like this anymore, so he cut the void out.

The blade that he held ever so dearly was the only thing that could soothe his raging brain that was about to explode in his skull.

He continued on with the blade for a good 30 minutes.

***

The next morning Hanbin was the first to wake up, because his alarm signalled that they needed to get up to get ready for university. He looked at Hao, who was still sleeping peacefully and immediately noticed some dried up blood scattered on the white sheets.

"The fuck?" He whispered to himself.

He pulled on the sheets and uncovered Hao's legs. His heart dropped.

"Zhanghao, oh my God..." He started moving his body, trying to wake him up. Hao lazily opened his eyes to meet a shaken up Hanbin, "What happened to your legs, precious?"

Hao widened his eyes at the realisation, he didn't know how to get out of this one. "I got sad yesterday."

"Why, baby? You can't do that! Talk to me, please. Tell me what happened. Let me help you."