Risking It

Chapter 32: "It's my fault Christopher is dead."

This chapter is not edited whatsoever.

Excuse any/ all mistakes and Enjoy!!

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I had left Drew with his parents so he could bond with them and more importantly I realized I had news to deliver. I felt obligated to tell Chris' mom that Chris has died. Being close with Chris' family growing up, it only made me feel more guilty if Chris' mom had to live unknowingly of the fact that Chris was still alive even if he wasn't.

From our neighborhood, I ran to Chris' apartment. Thank goodness I wore my Nike shoes.

Chris' place was only a block away from Drew's and I old neighborhood and a walking distance from my foster home. Their apartment wasn't very new and modern like my apartment, it was a classic red brick apartment that was chipped in some areas and from what Chris had told me, it was mostly low income families that lived here. I went inside and headed up towards Chris' apartment. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to answer it.

The door swung open, "Cassandra." Chris' mom, Patty, smiled. "Come in. Come in." She chirped pulling my hand inside. The place looked cleaner than usual, when I come to visit it's usually a mess. "It's been a while." She sat on the couch as she kept the grin on her face. I didn't want to sit because it honestly made me feel so guilty being here without him.

I smiled in return, "yeah." I couldn't stand to be here without Chris. That was when I realized Patty would eventually hear the news of Chris' death. Still is hard for me to say. "I'm sorry," I nodded my head, "I should go." I moved towards the door.

"Cassie please." I froze, "wait." I turned back around and faced her. "I'm trying." She took my hand, at first I didn't know what she meant, but then she explained it, "I've been sober for the past few weeks," she looked at me eagerly.

"That's great." I countered as I thought about how proud Chris would be of her.

"I know Chris doesn't like Miguel, but he's changing." She paused. She's not really doing what I think she's doing is she? "He really is." She nodded her head excitedly.

Oh GOD, she is.

She took my other hand, "can you please tell Chris." She smiled, "tell him I miss him and want him to come home to see this."

That was when I fell to my knees and started to wail. Patty knelt down and looked at me, "sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked holding my wet teary face in her hand.

"Chris is dead." I hyperventilated trying to calm myself. I looked up to see Patty look at me in denial.

"What did you say?" Patty said.

I was finally able to calm myself, but the tears didn't stop coming, "he went to Florida to meet with a drug dealer and he was shot and then the person that shot him had shot himself." I explained.

Patty shook her head deniably before she started wailing her, "I need to leave." I said quickly as I got up and left Patty on her living room floor crying. I closed the door behind me and sadly leaned on it crying some more. I don't think I can live with the fact that I'm ruining my bestfriend's reputation.

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I probably sat in front of Patty's door for about two hours and within those two hours I had people look at me, I had to hear Patty cry uncontrollably, it killed me inside to live with this guilt. I thought about how Chris always did everything to protect his mom and to hear her crying like this, it was everything Chris tried to prevent.