Fuck Me Gently || Harry Styles

chapter 37

Being back home was easier than she expected it to be. In fact, she got into her very own bed after the long taxi drive home, and had the best sleep she'd had in weeks.

And that while her mind was still a mess.

She woke up at one in the afternoon and made herself breakfast in the small kitchen - which she missed more than she thought. Trying to avoid her phone in case Harry texted or called her, she just read an old newspaper instead that a roommate had left behind, and it was honestly refreshing to start her day completely different from how she had started her days at Harry's house.

The only challenge was getting into the shower after breakfast. It took her a total of thirty minutes until she gathered the courage to take a step inside the bathroom, but once she was in there, she stayed surprisingly calm.

Of course her hands were shaking uncontrollably and every time her eyes landed on that very spot on the floor, her legs instantly felt like jelly again, but she didn't cry and she didn't throw up, so if anything, it was a big win.

She figured out that the secret to a good shower was loud music and a dark room. It was the only way she could barely hear her thoughts and she could no longer see the tiles and imagine a puddle of blood.

Even after she stepped out of the steaming shower and dried her body off, she kept the lights off and music on, and only when there was nothing left for her to do in the bathroom, she paused her music and proudly unlocked the door, still humming along to the song she had been blasting and was now just continuing in her head, drowning out all her negative thoughts.

She was so caught up in the loud music as she tried so hard to prove to herself she could easily do it all alone, she never even realised she actually wasn't alone in the house anymore. Only when she entered her bedroom again and noticed how the door was open and the lights were on, she froze, and it only took her one glance into the small room to find Harry sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Nice shower?"

He looked well-rested, and there was no sign of concern in his eyes at all. If anything, he looked very relaxed.

Trying her best to hide how surprised she was to see him there and to not see him be absolutely freaked out after she sneaked out of his house in the middle of the night, Indigo just nodded and made her way over to the closet as if he wasn't even there at all.

"You never told me you were ready to go back home," Harry told her calmly. She could easily tell he was testing her, though. He was just waiting for her to tell him the truth.

But instead of telling him why she left him before the sun came up, she just shrugged and opened the closet to find a hoodie to wear on top of her white t-shirt.

"So going into the bathroom was no issue at all?" he questioned her, and although she had her back facing him, she could easily guess he had his eyebrow raised right now and his head tilted.

"No," she breathed out, "it was a great shower actually."

"Oh yeah?" Harry asked. "Then why are you shaking, Indy?"

His question stopped her from moving for a second, her eyes moving to her hands only to see how they were still visibly shaking. She never even noticed it at all.

She just groaned softly as she quickly pulled a hoodie out of the closet and pulled it over her head, leaving the hood rest on her damp hair as she shut the closet doors.

"Doesn't look like you were ready to go back in there," Harry commented as she stuck her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants to hide them.

"Like I said, it was a great shower," Indigo mumbled stubbornly when she finally let her eyes fall on Harry again, letting them scan over his face for a moment before she walked to her desk and sat down on the chair in front of it.